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RioSamba

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Posts posted by RioSamba

    Homekeeping hacks

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I put post it labels with numbers and arrows to guide kids through the process of using the washer and dryer.

     

    If I have purchased an extra of something like mustard, BBQ, cereal and want to store the back up downstairs, I put a dot sticker (like a garage sale price sticker) on the one upstairs/in use. This way when the mustard is gone, I see the dot and look in the basement/pantry instead of buying another.

    I'm going to do this. Thanks for the great idea! I think I might use a sharpie instead of stickers. Hmmm.
    • Like 1

    Well, bummer. Family History discoveries that give you a new view of a beloved relative.

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Perhaps it is as the teller told. If so, isn't it a great thing that he turned away from that and became the loving man you knew?

     

    As for those women, don't give up. My cousins and I have spent decades on of my fourth great grandmothers. A couple of months ago I finally identified her with paper, and we have DNA confirmation too. DNA has paid off for me on multiple lines, and I'm closing in on two more women right now.

    • Like 2

    CC - Youth Group, Do you make your high schooler go if the don't want to?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Dd says she is not learning anything at youth group because it is too much like school, so she tunes it out after 10 minutes. (From what she says, it is an hour lecture by the youth leader, then they break up by age group into boy/girl groups to discuss for 30 minutes what the lecture was about, and then they have a 30 minute "fun" activity - games.)

     

    I agree we have not clicked with the youth leader, but I don't think it is enough to leave the church over. Especially, when this dd only has a year left for youth. She is welcome to participate in other churches youth groups, but none of her friends go to any and she doesn't want to go by herself.

     

    I guess dd and I could do a Bible study together ourselves, but I am not in a position to lead a group with other kids. Plus, I have no idea where those other kids would come from.

    Does she want to have a Spiritual community? Does she want to study?

    Homekeeping hacks

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Separate laundry by person and teach children how to launder. My older sister were ready to do their own laundry around age 10.

     

    Steam. I have a cheapie shark handheld and it's so easy. If it's baked on, caked on, hard to reach, or gross I prefer to let the steam do the work.

     

    Squeegee tile showers after use.

     

    Roomba. It's not just a vacuum, it's a beloved family member.

     

    The best hack of all is a good cleaner. If you can afford one, just do it!

     

    Simplify and declutter. Keep yourself out of the stuff management business as much as possible.

    • Like 5

    CC - Youth Group, Do you make your high schooler go if the don't want to?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I don't force it. The more you push, the more they pull. DH and I have chosen a church that is not our first choice (we are comfortable with the theology but prefer a smaller church) because our children are so at home there. The youth leaders really promote a Christ like, loving atmosphere. They are condemnation free, attentive to group dynamics and individual needs, and they teach and show what it means to follow Christ.

     

    What is your DD learning in/from this group? The leader sounds unkind and insensitive. Those aren't traits I'd want in a youth leader or minister! In your shoes, I would be looking for a new church. If there isn't a good church for you, perhaps you can find or start a Bible Study Group?

     

    Hugs.

    • Like 4

    Crap crap crap crap crap

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I'm so sorry, how awful.

     

    Here on the Front Range of Colorado we are seeing big changes in Coyote behavior. They are adopting pack behaviors and becoming much more aggressive with humans. Our suburb has had multiple incidents of coyotes attacking small children as well as people walking dogs.

    • Like 1

    Helping siblings deal with growing independence of older sib

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    We are starting to deal with this too. I think you and DD are doing everything right. Just as it is normal for DD to be around less often, it's natural for younger siblings to feel sad, angry, or rejected. When middle DS says something snarky, I encourage him to talk about the underlying feeling. That seems to help. I don't think there's a magic solution to this, life is thorny!

    Would you guys celebrate--update #58 :)

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    THIS is her big accomplishment, I think. She started small, walking to the store to buy milk. Then she started going for runs by herself. Then walking through the city to the library and then to the YMCA to work out by herself. By the end of the summer she was taking the train into the city with the 17yo to shop downtown Chicago for afternoons. She was determined not to let it ruin her life because she really wants to move to Japan to teach English one day and she wanted to be able to do it without curling up into a ball. She's a determined, determined young woman.

    That's inspiring, good for her! Congratulations, Mia!
    • Like 1

    Nm

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I'm sorry things are so difficult. I remember your previous threads and some of the complexities involved. I think you need a deep breath for yourself, whatever that looks like in your world. A movie, prayer, a glass of wine, coffee with a friend, whatever calms you. Give yourself some oxygen and then think about which issues are really yours to solve, what boundaries you want to set, and how you can go forward. Hugs.

    • Like 2

    Another adult child query

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    We will help so long as we are helping not hindering. There are too many variables to make a hard and fast rule, or to say I will pay for x but not y.

     

    Health care is a separate consideration. Even if a YA child can't afford coverage due to bad choices, I'm still paying.

    • Like 1

    I can't deal with this and I feel awful about it

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    A year ago I posted about my otherwise wonderful MIL who talks too much. See this thread. http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/585806-how-to-cope-with-people-who-talk-too-much/?fromsearch=1

    She admitted she is afraid of silence and that others in the past have gotten really annoyed with her jabber. She doesn't realize there's a distinction between having a conversation with people and giving a monologue.

     

    All in all, the conversation actually went okay and she seemed genuinely appreciative that I was willing to open up. They visited last month and I could tell she was making an effort to not fill ALL the silence with her talking.

     

    I would genuinely like some ideas. Talking to her a few months ago didn't really have any lasting influence. So I feel like this is all on me. Although, I feel like she interrupts me more than she does others. Maybe because I take longer to get all my words out and because I am quieter in general? I don't know.

     

    Help.

    It's great that you spoke so clearly about what was bothering you, and it sounds like she reacted without condemnation and with a genuine effort to do what you asked. I think it's probably a conversation that you will have to repeat frequently. It would be worth it to me since you both seem to be loving people with good intentions.

     

    Especially when she is staying at your house, I think you should give yourself permission to interrupt with a smile when needed, and to walk away sometimes. She sounds exhausting!

    • Like 1
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