Ha! Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I was misspelling the name. It’s Berenstain Bears all over.

Yes I vaguely remember the names being an issue and definitely art. The story was weird? but not what I expected.

He believes if we’ve done something for years, no matter if I complained ever, it’s what is the norm for our family and he will continue to do it. So, he said “we always go to my mon’s for thanksgiving. Of course I’m going.” And “I always take the kids there for spring break. My lawyer approved it and the kids want to go.” The kids would be fine either way. We actually have many places we could go without driving so far. They will see their cousins but I don’t think the cousins even share the same break!

My dad lives near his parents so he thinks we can just visit everyone. And I think the main motivation is if I go it doesn’t look like he ran off with the kids. I don’t know. He says he still wants the kids to have time as a family. And I do believe once the dust settles that may be possible occasionally but I am not sure when I’ll be ready. I have explained my stance multiple times on similar situations and he either doesn’t get it or refuses. If he has vacation time he always goes to see his parents. We stay here for Easter because his spring break doesn’t overlap. Not because he actually values us having time as a nuclear family.

This may have already been shared but this is the alternative list I saw: https://www.mother.ly/amp/alternative-books-dr-seuss-bipoc-2650893276

Yeah that’s what I mean... logically I say they aren’t real but yet I feel for her as she tries to save them. It’s a show so I always wonder if they will try to rationalize/explain she really had kids at some point. Which also would make no sense... was vision ever able to have a physical relationship in the bedroom? I mean no genitalia. So really more of an emotional than physical relationship.

We have a controversial book on the shelf where I was working. There’s a disclaimer in the front stating they are aware. The book depicts some racist things centering around a little black boy. It’s called Little Black Sambo. I discussed the book with a former librarian. She felt it should stay because of the history to show people what kinds of things were published. She happens to be black. My knee jerk recreation was but do we really want this here? After seeing the disclaimer I decided to leave it. No one has checked it out in many years. I read it in the building so may have scanned it as used or quarantined. Either that or I set it aside for quarantine without scanning it. Then put it back on the shelf a week later. I haven’t read all the replies. I know at one point I heard about the Dr Suess controversy in the past, but that he’d supposedly admitted errors in his ways. Also, I do believe the story of the creatures with stars on bellies vs no stars on bellies was meant to share a message about inclusivity. So to a degree you could say I’d forgiven his past transgressions to the point of “eh maybe don’t shun all his stuff” but just don’t promote/condone the controversial work. There’s a list of “read alikes” some of which were listed in an anti racism traveling display that came to some of our branches. I ordered “I Am Enough.”

Oops I missed an extra scene referenced above. I’ll have to go back and watch

This show is crazy. Like if Vision is dead how real are the children? And yet here we are attached to them and freaking out when they’re in danger. Or that’s just me lol I think tonight was the final ep of season 1.

Mainly due to the time-sensitive nature of my situation (don’t want to lose my house!) I ended up hiring another lawyer and requesting a new hearing date. It will be this month after all. I don’t want to go into all the details. Let’s just say I already feel more prepared. My home should be ready in a week and then I’ll ship some furniture. Dh and I are fighting over spring break with the kids 🙄 I’m trying to get him to make an agreement in writing about how we will handle it. I said sure take them to your parents but agree that I get them next year for spring break. He’s trying to get me to go with him (just like Thanksgiving!). For the record I stayed here for Thanksgiving and prepared a meal (turkey was prebaked from Kroger but I made homemade rolls and some sides) my for sister, dad, and aunt. My mother passed earlier that month. Dh *had* to go to his parents but came here for Black Friday and we ate leftovers together. I’m not *really* fighting about it. I’m setting boundaries. Ain’t nobody got time for this. I will not be bullied into carpooling 3.5 hours to see his parents. I don’t have a spring break and I have things to do locally.

Btw I tried to pm you once but it wouldn’t let me. Maybe your box was full

Because short term that might be doable but it’s hard on the kids and I’m not commiting to living here indefinitely and there’s no signs he would move anytime soon. He has reasons to stay here. If I ever move to the city, closer to my office (I’ll need to go to the office sometimes) I’ll be further.

I was offered a settlement recently in place of hearing with temp plan (basically week on/week off) and no money so I refused. I can’t really afford to move without some alimony and/or child support. It’s kinda complicated. And the longer I thought about it the less I liked kids hopping back and forth that often.

Gosh maybe we should have spent this money on a different therapist. Ugh what a waste. It will likely be delayed months and that messes up any move in date.

I got a new phone and new laptop recently. Both have given me problems but at least the phone seems to mainly be a storage transfer thing. I have been to my new phone provider 3x and Apple recently. I have bought extra cloud and google photo storage. I finally got all my contacts moved over and photos finally moved to cloud but ironically didn’t all stay on google photos — says still loading after the store reset it. I didn’t know resetting the phone would affect my app. I have dealt with Lenovo and Office Depot about the laptop. I’m working from home and my keyboard just stopped responding. Everything is wacko and I don’t know if any normalcy is around the corner. At least the OD people agreed to honor my return if it’s outside their normal window because of the issues. The home will have more time to get done but I don’t know when I’ll be moving now. I will not go without a court ordered parent plan in place.

When we had to move the Dec date it got moved all the way to March. I have no idea what to expect now.

Well the hearing has been delayed. No new date set yet. Lawyer is sick.

I know you asked for advice for people that have been there with children, but I'll weigh in with my personal experience and you can use or not use it. As an adult in 2017 I finally decided to give an SSRI a try. I had put it off for a couple of reasons (one of which had been breastfeeding prior to that). I've been evaluated two two pyschs and it was totally different. First one made me answer a billion questions for her intake form. Then came back with a diagnosis of depression and generalized anxiety. I told her I thought I had OCD but she didn't classify me as having it. Fast foward. I went to another psychiatrist and he said he doesn't do intake forms. He just talks to you and gets info without a specific form. He said based on my info the SSRI would be used to address depression, anxiety and OCD. I also complained of a few panic attacks so it was kind of a catch all for all the things. First one I tried worked immediately (I was having suicidal thoughts just before I began it) but I was SUPER tied on that one. We tinkered with the dose a few times but ultimately switched to Celexa (well, the knock off version). Overall I've been decent with celexa. It's a little less intense so not affecting fatigue to the same degree. My follow ups now are usually every few months but if things are extra crazy sometimes I'm seen more frequently. Right now everything is a telehealth appt. In the beginning I'd rattle on (like I'm doing here!) for a while but now we usually just talk like 10 min lol. Basically, "how are you, is the dose still good?" If you want talk therapy or something along those lines, seek an additional therapist. I usually go to two. They may not advertise it, but you can cut pills. I cut mine which is a huge PITA but it was the only way I could get the right dose. So they prescribe me 1.5/day and I actually take 1.25. My prescription lasts a bit over a month before I need the refill. I basically had to ask the dr if it was okay to cut them because he could not prescribe them that way (they come as a 10 or 20 mg. At one point I took 10, another point 20, another point I think 30... and now my dose is 25mg). Just be prepared for it to take a while to adjust doses and there may be side effects.

The hearing is this week. My home is still under construction and delayed because that freak week of snow we had. But things are slowly coming together.

He started with a weird question like do you think two close people should share something big with each other like if one is moving far? Especially with kids involved. Then he said someone told him. He wondered when I’d tell him and was upset I didn’t tell him first. I said Who says I’m moving far? And why should I tell you anything first? Did you tell me when you took the kids to see a lawyer? he’s impossible. Rules don’t apply to him. Lots of double standards. Our relationship is toxic. There’s no repair for the levels of gaslighting and hypocrisy involved. I know leaving is the sane thing.

Oh I never meant to insinuate someone here said something. I told a few patrons I was leaving for another job but I never directly told anyone dh works with. My patrons can’t even get on his campus with Covid. So it’s just strange he claims someone from work came up to him at work and said I hear your wife is quitting the library and going FT with magazine. He could have bluffed, I do not know. The library job listing was online but I didn’t say anything on Facebook about the magazine. Another librarian knew but didn’t talk to him. Small towns, who knows. The library was 28 hours a week. Now I’m full time with the magazine and it’s more money than the previous PT gigs combined. The library didn’t want to lose me but even if they opened one more weekday I knew mathematically I couldn’t increase my wages anywhere near where I needed to work there alone (basically needed to double my salary). The magazine gives some wiggle room on where I live since I won’t go in the office daily. I will start going in a sometimes but our roads are icy now and we can’t go anywhere. The kids are home for bad weather til Wednesday. On the plus side, I don’t have to rub disinfectant wipes on surfaces all day or use hand sanitizer all day now. The home I’m supposed to move in is under construction and the landlord hasn’t been real solid on move-in-ready date. I told him I may have to look for another place because I need something before the hearing lined up. Dh said you are not coming back here after the hearing. Legally, I don’t think it’s his say. But practically, he’s right. We wouldn’t want that. I got on my own cell plan. New phone with the promotion. bought a laptop for my work. I’m trying to deal with something I don’t want to post on the public forum. Thanks for your positive thoughts.

I am now working full time for the magazine job instead. It was bittersweet to go, but you gotta do what you gotta do to make ends meet. Dh knows. Supposedly someone in town brought it up which I can’t figure out but oh well. is anyone I know online?

**Update. I ordered that and shopped through Retailmenot using their cash back. I have $50 cash back pending (12% cash back with max of $50). I will pick it up this week.

This is the item. I think for the price it should be worthwhile despite no many reviews. https://www.officedepot.com/a/products/3758022/Lenovo-IdeaPad-S145-Laptop-156-Screen/fromLocalBrowse=false

The one I picked above is in store only and not available at any stores around me. So, I looked up a similar machine (that was in stock at Office Depot when I went. There was no display but the employee talked to me). The price dropped since yesterday. And I can get 5% back from buying Office Depot gift cards on ibotta. Ibotta wouldn’t let me buy more than $250 in gift cards on one day. I’ll buy the remainder after midnight I guess. Then order and drive to the store for pick up within 5 business days. The item is discontinued but I got a Lenova rep (hadn’t thought to do that til Lanny mentioned reps) to find me the original listing and reviews because on office depot’s site they only had 7 comments. There were several reviews and an overall good rating on the original Lenova site listing. The processor is more than enough but within my budget and I hope to use it for years. https://www.lenovo.com/us/en/laptops/ideapad/ideapad-100-series/Lenovo-IdeaPad-S145-15AST/p/88IPS101207 Bulky is all I’ve had so really any of these are gonna be less heavy. The current dell and the dinosaur hand-me- down Mac here are massive. The Mac has no trade in value and you can’t even upgrade the browser so it’s only good for a few web searches. The laptop I’m getting has a “Radeon Vega 10 Graphics” component which I think some didn’t have. It was $480 last night and $450 today. After tax roughly $481. Gift cards save me $24. Probably won’t qualify for Rakuten savings since I’m using gift cards but it might. Total out of pocket will be roughly $457. I’m willing to do that because of the specs and reviews. I might one day buy a monitor and use the laptop as the brain at home but for now I’m going with this. They do sell a nice wave ergonomic keyboard at Sam’s club I could use if I need to use something more comfortable. I just don’t know how to sit close to the laptop with an extra keyboard. The original would be in my way and I’m not interested in the snap off tablet/keyboard devices. Something to ponder another day. oh great. As I’m typing this I see that discontinued Lenova link they sent isn’t the same model. It has different specs for SSD. Good grief! Are there any other places find this model and reviews 🤦🏽‍♀️ I couldn’t find any.