I think it's one of those things that is going to push people's buttons no matter what, because we all have different ideas about what is a need and what is a want, and when it's okay to ask for money and when it isn't. I fall into the "never ask for money" camp. But I got a gofundme email from a friend who thought it was perfectly fine to ask me to donate so she could attend an out of town wedding. I simply didn't answer it; my personal belief is that I would never ask a casual friend for a donation for that kind of expense. (I'd like to have seen my nephew graduate across the country, but I didn't hit up anyone for money) BUT some of her circle of friends might operate like this all the time. So I think the take-away is to just ignore it if you don't like it. And if you use it, know that you may possibly offend someone.

What's wrong with working for five years and then going to school when you're 23? At that point you are considered an adult and you can get your own financial aid. Meanwhile, you can work a few jobs and find out what you actually want to do with your life. Considering how long we all live these days, that five years is a flash in a pan. A kid this spoiled rotten isn't going to get a darn thing out of college right now anyway, and I doubt she's getting anything out of high school, either. She can take some time to grow up, live entirely by her own rules now that she's out from under her tyrannical parents and when she's 23 she'll probably get a free ride (since I imagine a little princess like that won't actually work very much or make any money). If I were her parents I wouldn't give a darn what the court said. She wouldn't see a dime and I'd bankrupt the rest of us just to make the point.

Oh, gosh, Rose - I think about you guys a lot. You are definitely in my prayers and good thoughts. So glad you guys have another chance in court coming up. Isn't raising teenagers grand? I know that feeling when your life suddenly feels like Jerry Springer show.... I hope things look up.

Thank so much and keep it coming. I want to get started right away so we don't "waste" it. I'm in Canada - is there anything special I need to know?

Edited: I originally started this thread as a "How should I Use Prime?" thread after my son gave me Amazon Prime for Christmas. Then I went onto Amazon this afternoon and found out it doesn't even work for me. I live in Canada. So does my son. Why would the site even allow him to purchase a service that can't be used on our country? So I checked out Amazon Prime on Amazon.ca which is completely stripped of any usefulness. No movies or tv shows, no free lends on books. But it still had the two-day shipping option so I thought I'd try to get my membership switched. Nope. No can do. My only recourse was getting the membership cancelled and refunded. Except that I didn't order it - my son did. And they couldn't even figure out who he was or how to refund the money to him. I spent over an hour in online chat and got nowhere. They finally told me my son would have to log in and cancel the gift. What do you bet that when he tries that he won't be allowed to since I already accepted and started the membership???? I am soooo frustrated. I have to wait for my son to get home to do his part. I hope it goes smoothly. If he has to fight it out with customer service as well I will be very angry. Rant over.

Thinking of you, Rose - hope things smooth out for you guys. Lots of hugs - this isn't about "fault"; this is about what do you do today. Or what does he do today. Ultimately, it is his life.

Thank you for all the sympathy and support! I swear, I have never come on here asking for "prayers" and not had it work out in the end. We didn't make a big fuss today, since it is Christmas. He came over on time, and has been a joy to be around. The day has gone smoothly. Dh told me he will have a "word" with son on the way home tonight to let him know NOT to do that again. Seriously, as I was getting up and dressed this morning I nearly threw up I was so worried. I think tonight when everyone goes home I will have a good cry, LOL.

Argh - found him! In bed. With a cold. He "figured I would call" and then he'd tell me he wasn't coming to dinner. Was too sniffly to make the call himself. Or answer emails, or.... Would it be bad to hit your kid with a 2 x 4 on Christmas morning????? I barely slept last night!!!!

Still nothing. It's only 8:30 am here so we're waiting a bit longer, then dh will go and ask the building manager to open his door if he doesn't answer it. I'm about to start calling him every five minutes. I've held off in deference to 20 year old sleep patterns. I've asked one of my other sons to start asking around online to his friends to see if he can locate him. We're all supposed to get together at 11 am for brunch and presents. I'm still sure this will work out fine and am also still totally panicking. Time to put on my happy face and stuff the turkey so the littlest one doesn't panic, too. Thanks for the prayers - they are appreciated.

I don't want to say "missing" because I don't want to over-dramatize, but I saw him last night - we went last minute CHristmas shopping together - and he was in a good mood. I asked him to come to dinner tonight (Christmas Eve dinner) and he said yes. Then he didn't answer emails or his phone all day. I've emailed repeatedly asking him to just drop me a line and tell me everything is okay. So far nothing. He's 20 and has been on his own for over a year. We don't micro-manage his life, but this is weird behavior. I'm mostly posting because I feel like if I say something publicly (here) it will turn out to be no big deal, you know? It is really creeping me out right now. It's 1:30 am on Christmas. He hasn't emailed yet. Where the heck could he be and why would he blow us off? Prayers would be lovely. I'm sure it's just a 20-year-old boy being a 20-year-old boy...but I'm spooked.

Abandonment is huge and real. The only good treatment of this I've ever read is actually in a marriage counseling book called Getting the Love You Need. THat author expresses the fact that things that happen to us even in really early times can have a HUGE affect on us. The fact that this child lost both mother and siblings in one shot is big, big, big. Is he seeing a family counselor or a psychiatrist? A family counselor might be more helpful because of their "bigger picture" viewpoint. The upshot is that one of the things the kid will do is test to see if other people will abandon him. In other words, he will act out in ways almost guaranteed to make people abandon him to relive his fear. What he needs from you, from his father and anyone else around who possibly can is stability. That doesn't mean you put up with bad behavior. Absolutely not. But you stand by him and love him as best you can, and reiterate that love as much as you can. His father needs to know that sticking by his rules - even if that means the child has to live elsewhere - in the end is best for everyone. That may sound contradictory, but it isn't. His father needs to have firm rules and expectations expressed through love and consistency. If at all possible, the Dad needs to keep the door open - if not for a return, than for reuniting in a different way. This is a pattern that can repeat through generations if not healed. An abandoned child will abandon their own kids - not meaning to, of course.... I hope all of you get the help and support you need and it is terrific that you are there to help. Sometimes families need a little space to come together again more strongly.

I believe Amazon made this available to every author who had qualified books; you just have to choose to opt in. So when an author or publisher adds a new book to the catalog they can choose to opt in, and you can go back and opt in for books that are already published. I imagine what you'll find is more new books coming online with Matchbook activated. And probably the big publishers will take months to figure it out, like usual. :) I think it's tough for them to adopt new technologies and sales options than it is for smaller ones.

It's interesting to see this from readers' points of views. There's been a lot of discussion about it on the author boards I frequent. Most authors I know are opting in for their books, and most are choosing to make the ebook free, (that's what I'm doing) although some are choosing 99 cents because they think customers can buy a paper copy for a friend and keep the ebook for themselves. Since I hang with romance authors and we tend to publish ourselves, it's easy for us to opt in to the program. It's a whole different matter for big publishers to do so with their books - they might need to redo contracts over it, so I can see why it will take time for Matchbook to become a big program, but I bet by this time next year it'll be a given with most books; it just makes sense.

Interesting answers! As I edited to say above, the comment about the concert/plays was because she knew that sitting on the aisle toward the back is something I do in those situations because I find them really stressful. I have to admit when she said that I hoped she was right and there were tons of other stressed out people sitting on the aisles for the same reason, but I guess not! :) While I find that people on forums talk about anxiety, I don't find that people in real life do, so I feel very strange about my own anxiety issues, which are most like Cindy in FL above. I've dealt with anxiety all of my life, but only learned in the last few years that's what it was. I spent years trying elimination diets, blaming perfume and other things for the reactions I got in crowded places, etc., and then finally realized that wasn't it. It was the crowds themselves. Probably the hardest part about it for me was that I don't feel afraid of any of the situations that I react to. In other words, the idea of a crowd does not scare me, nor does being outside, nor do airplanes or dentists....but when I'm in those situations my body's reaction is overwhelming. I think Cindy summed it up well. I don't like to be in any situation I can't get myself out of--immediately--if I start to feel bad. While several people commented that people who disliked crowds could easily avoid concerts, etc., that has never been my situation, because my children are in concerts (or other family members or friends), or friends invite me, or my parents insist that I go, or....you get the picture. Plus, I love concerts, plays and movies, so it's sad not to go. In other words, to me, the consequence of saying no is just as hard to bear as the consequence of going. I have to assume that's the same for many other people.

Someone in the counseling trade commented to me last week, "You wouldn't believe how many people struggle with anxiety. Just go to any play or concert and look at all the people sitting on the aisle in the back." Her comment stuck with me. How many people do suffer anxiety? How severe is it? Obviously this is a really informal poll, but I'm curious because anxiety runs in my family with sometimes uncomfortable results. Try to pick the answer that's closest and feel free to comment on particulars. Is anxiety really that prevalent? Edited to add "other" choice to section one!!!! Also edited to add: the comment about plays and concerts was in context with a conversation we were having about me feeling anxious at plays and concerts....maybe she was just trying to make me feel better, LOL?