Plateau Mama
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Posts posted by Plateau Mama
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I thought about doing exactly that. Some divorce papers. My will opened to the page that show who gets custody of my kids right next to print outs of some horrible medical diagnoses. The only thing that stops me is that you would never convince her that those things weren't true.I'd probably print off some 'interesting' things for her to find next time. Lab reports. Letters from the local government. Letters from bill collection agencies. All sorts of 'interesting' reading.
And then we'd talk about it NOT being appropriate to snoop in other people's houses. No matter what relation. We respect each other's privacy in our house. I had to go through college girl's drawer looking for a specific piece of paper. I didn't like it but she was texting me to go find it, where it was, and what it was. She needed a picture of it. Your desk, your room, your stuff - I'll stay out of it. I expect you to do the same.
. They do not stay at our house. That's another story. They are here till the 27th. The desk is in the main area. I don't really keep much there. Just general stuff I'm currently dealing with. The PSAT scores came the day before they arrived and I just put them on my desk because my file cabinet is hard to access ATM and I didn't want to lose them.I think you handled it as best as you could, given the circumstances (shock plus no DH available to back you up -- I understand how this can be necessary). I would have been ticked for sure. My MIL is a doctor. Great when a kid runs into a wall and you don't know if they need stitches. Not great just about any time I am pregnant or sick. We have serious boundary issues in this dept and I can't stand the thought of her in my papers.
Going forward, are they staying at your house? Or going to be in your house a lot over the holidays? I'd have my DH tell her to leave the desks alone, it can wait until after Christmas (so she can't ruin it) but just keep her chaperoned with a kid or yourself. Or lock that room (idk if it is in a main family room). Or simply put a "do not touch" piece of paper smack in the middle, with a thank you and a smiley face of course. Maybe even a disclaimer about "avalanche risk" or something if I was trying to be more careful of feelings.
OR if I was feeling super passive aggressive I would at least day dream about buying a mega roll of saran wrap from Costco and wrap my desk with it, so you can SEE all the papers, but you can't TOUCH anything but saran wrap. This takes time, effort, and frustration. Especially if you need something while you have company. And it may look silly to those not in the know. But I'd still day dream :)
I really like the Saran Wrap. Maybe I'll do that along with some "shocking papers" peeking out.
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I would have, however, composed an eloquent retort about three days later when it wouldn't have helped at all.
I'm sorry you had to experience this.
I tidied my desk this morning. I'm thinking when she arrives today I am going to say something along the lines of "I straightened my desk so it would be easier for you to snoop."
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We intentionally did not tell her DD's scores. This year or last. My niece is a senior this year and my DD has done much better than her on standardized testing and is overall a better student. My MIL tends to make stupid comments comparing the girls that I feel are harmful for my niece to hear. Thing like well niece has no community service. How on earth will she ever get into college. Niece didn't take calculus as a freshman what is she going to do. Etc.
We were telling no one the scores so MIL wouldn't go back and make niece feel bad.
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Just wondering what you all would have done? I was so gobsmacked I just looked at her with a look that said WTH are you doing?!
Last night my MIL went to my desk and started rifling through my papers. Then she pulled out DD's PSAT scores and started looking through them. To be clear, the scores weren't just laying on the table, they were filed away in a letter sorter type thing on my desk. They weren't visible unless you were rifling through the other stuff up there. when she saw us looking at her she said she was looking for DD's ACT scores.
My FIL & I just looked at her in disbelief. My husband said I should have called her on it but he wasn't home and I didn't want to do that without him home to support me. Because, trust me, I would have been the bad guy and she would have made Christmas miserable. Just trust me on that.
Edited title to fix (funny) autocorrect.
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The companies have 10k-50k+ employees. They are hiring dozens of these positions and interviewing hundreds of people at any given time. They are not talking to each other about who they are interviewing. The exception would be if you are local and going from one of these big companies to another and the interviewers happen to know you or know someone who knows you. That happens frequently because a lot of people generally worked at one particular company out here at one time or another. But some guy from out of state. It wouldn't come up.I would not be so quick as to dismiss his point of view. I would absolutely expect people who hire high level professionals to talk to each other. I know that in my field, people do find out if somebody was offered a job and declined.
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I live in the HCOL area that you are considering. We live in a modest neighborhood. None of us in the neighborhood try to keep up with the Jones. We try to live within our means. There are thrift shops here. And subsidies at places like the Y if you need it. We take our higher paycheck and parcel it out against the higher prices. I think that it evens out.
I have no advice on whether you should move though having a job would trump hoping that other offers will materialize, for me personally.
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Jean is right. Keeping up with the Jones has nothing to do with being in a HCOL area. It has to do with your mentality. We also live in the area you are looking. Our cars are 7, 8, 13 years old but they run fine. We don't have cable, we don't go out to eat. We do live in a nice house, but we actually under bought for what we could afford. It's all up to you if you keep up or just do your own thing. ;-)
As for the job keep in mind there are tech companies all over here so even if this job doesn't work out there are lots of other opportunities. He can do his year and move on. My husband is starting a new job on the first. He left a very large corporation that he was at for a very long time. He was interviewing with two large tech companies and a startup. Plus the company you are looking at is trying to recruit him. He has no interest in working for them, but he did briefly consider it because they pay well for his position. He is going with the startup which I am happy about.
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Are you asking how many get a 36 on each of the 4 subsections? That is, how many get a 36 in English (and various other scores in the other 3 sections), how many get a 36 in reading (and various other scores in the other 3 sections), etc.
Interesting question. I know the kids sometimes comment along the lines of, "The math seemed hard this time," implying that it could vary by test date.
Also, I wonder if some subjects are more likely to have perfect scores. I know in our household a certain subject is easier -- is that true for everyone, or did we just happen upon the correct combination of curriculum for that subject/these kids?
Yes. She is wondering how many get a 36 in math, science, English AND Reading. She came up with the number in the link below but was looking for actual numbers. It doesn't seem that is tracked because we cand find it anywhere.
. This is the number she came up with, but she was wondering if the actual number was close to that (due to certain subjects being "easier/harder" etc. it doesn't seem that number is tracked or at least made public.
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Does anyone know, on average, how many students get a 36 on all 4 subsections of the ACT? I know <1000 get a 36 composite, but DD is wondering how many get a 36 in each subject (essentially a perfect score).
She has done some calculations and wants to see if they are in the ballpark.
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I've been eyeing this game for awhile. Last I looked though it was $50! Not quite ready to shell out that kind of money for a board game.
What's the best price you've seen for the game?
We got ours for $35 off amazon last summer. Honestly we love this game. We played multiple games every day over Thanksgiving break.
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They are automatically added to your account unless you mark them as a gift when you order.
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. This is the one my DH has. He really likes it and I'm hoping Santa brings me one.
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I have a copay of $xx, a deductible of $xxxx, and then OOP max of some other crazy amount. The only thing different from our current insurance is the copay. The deductible and OOP amounts are different but we've had them before so I understand how they work.I hope this isn't a dumb question, but are you sure you will have a deductible under the new plan? I only ask because you said co-pays and not co-insurance, but I know there are a million ways to structure these plans so that may not mean anything.
My insurance has co-pays and a co-insurance but not a deductible.
I pay$25 at a my primary doc and $45 at specialists (co-pay). I pay 20% of all lab and imaging services (co-insurance)
Ds's insurance has a deductible and a co-insurance (that is a % and is similar to a co-pay) but no actual set co-pay.
After we have paid $150 of incurred medical expenses, then we pay 25% of whatever the doc charges.
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Being that we won't have met our deductible yet my biggest concern is having to pay it twice. The testing will be a big chunk, if not all of our deductible. Also I need to have a procedure done. If I don't do it in Jan then I can do it until July which is doable but I'm in a lot of pain so it would be nice to do it sooner. I'm still praying for a cancelation so I can do mine before year end.Oh sorry...guess I read that wrong.
Then no that won't carry over.
However, there is something called "continuation of care". I'd ask about that. Sometimes when you switch mid treatment for something like that the old insurance is on the hook for some of it. That I don't remember all the rules for though.
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Different employer. Same insurance company. I figured the deductible would reset but my mother insists that I just have to show proof of what I've already paid.She said it is the same employer. So it is possible it might carry over.
My son is scheduled for some LD testing at the end of January and it is very expensive so I don't want that to fall under the old insurance if deductible won't carry over.
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The reason I was asking was my daughter offered to go to the store for me and she couldn't find it. I thought it would be with the baking items but when I went back the next day I couldn't find it and I accidental spotted it next to the corn syrup with the pancake syrup.
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This actually varies by grocery stores. I've seen it most often in breakfast with the syrups (why??? who puts molasses on their pancakes???) but sometimes it shows up in baking. I've never seen it in produce.
Produce was actually an answer from a friend. Her grocery store moves it to produce during the holidays.
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I've never had a copay. My husband is taking a new job and we now will have a copay. What I don't understand is this, is the copay just $$ I pay to the dr in order to receive care or does I get applied to my bill?
Say my bill is $200 and my copay is $20. Will that $20 be applied to my bill or will I still owe $200 for my visit?
Another question. The insurance is the same company but it's a different plan. If I have some expenses on the old plan will I start over on my deductible when I switch or will it carry over to the new plan?
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Where would you expect to find molasses in the grocery store?
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if(when) I find a comparable substitute I will be leaving Penzey's. Which is a shame. I have shopped with them for a decade. I send everyone to them. But his emails were over the top. Then he went and told CEO's of other companies should follow his example. what he doesn't realize (or chooses to ignore), is that he didn't lose more
Business because there aren't a lot of competitors in his industries. On other companies, that have a lot of competitors, it could be business suicide.
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I would not do a theme park during spring break. Especially if I only had one day. Spring break is the 2nd busiest time of year. Second only to the week between Christmas and New Years.
Cape Canaveral/NASA would be fun for a day.
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My kids are 3rd, 9th, 11th. Our favorite is Qwirkle. Everyone can play. No one gets frustrated or board.
Ticket to Ride is fun but my younger has a hard time.
Tenzie is fun (and cheap).
Dog bites Man
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I only ever use one pod but you are actually supposed to use multiple pods for a load of laundry. So one pod for 1/2 load will be fine.
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It's snowing. I think we have about a 1/4 inch so far. We're at the top of a hill though and I haven't gone out to see if it's snowing at the bottom of the hill.
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It started here around 7:30. It's just now starting to stick to the grass. Sure hope I didn't make a bad call letting DD drive to school. Really don't want to have to go get them.
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My sil is on union hill - when we got there after dark (visiting mil) there was a trace of snow on the cars (which hadn't been driven because sil is out of town) - but now where else.
we're going after lunch - so I doubt there will be much of anything - and it's mostly freeway. it's just the timing, both days, and that it's actually in the forecast. (though it seems some of the worst came out of nowhere). and it's the convergence zone. (which is a much lower elevation than I was expecting.) and as the temp drops it will start to ice up. I'd feel more comfortable with my awd.
plateau mamma is right.
people from "snow areas" can often underestimate what our slick snow is like, on steep curvy hills . .. dh is thrilled he works from home. 1dd can walk to work if she has to.
A good friend of mine is from Minnesota. Her daughters birthday is January. One year we got bad weather the weekend of the girls party. The mom assured us all that they'd be fine on their outing because she was used to the snow. After the fact she admitted that driving here is a whole different beast. (They got stuck a few blocks from home.)
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Snooping MIL
in The Chat Board
Posted
A couple of years ago my MIL told my husband. "Our financial planner says you are worth $x-xx million." DH, after getting over the shock of his mother speaking of his supposed net worth to others laughed and said "Do you think I'd really be going to work every day if I was worth $xx million.?" I don't know if the conversation really happened with the FP of if she was just trying to get him to reveal our finances but either way he wasn't happy.