Amy in NH
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Posts posted by Amy in NH
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I second exercise, acupuncture, PEMF, and mindfulness meditation (which I haven't seen mentioned here yet).
Jon Kabat-Zinn's mindfulness meditation pain management programs have shown amazing success for chronic pain sufferers.
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I would have taken my kids to find a security officer, and then vacated the immediate premises.
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They are both painful with each new adjustment.
Invisalign worked well for one of my kids. But another one of my kids got into a tray in the #20s before the dentist said it wasn't working and we gave up. Unfortunately, they aged out of their dental insurance at that time and never had their bite corrected. The most frustrating part about it was that the orthodontist accused my kid of being non-compliant in wearing the trays when we know they had been compliant, but it had to be obvious that they had been compliant or how would that tray in the 20s have fit into their mouth at all? -
Is the time he is using impacting your schedule? Or is it mainly decreasing his own personal free-time? With a 13 year old, I'd be frank that he is wasting his own time. If it takes him longer to complete his schoolwork because he is goofing off on Youtube, he has that much less time later to do x, y, z that he wants to do. Then, if it's not impacting something important, I'd just let him. At least he is learning about things that are interesting to him. Those little tidbits can become useful someday, and so can the lesson learned through a natural consequence!
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6 hours ago, Amethyst said:
Fortunately, I have not been in the position of seeing stray dogs around much. If there was a dog wandering in my neighborhood, I would assume he belonged to someone in the neighborhood and would eventually find his way home. If I was driving down a country road, on my way to wherever, again I would assume it got loose and would eventually find its way home. If I took it in my car, further away from its home, that would make it harder for owner to find him. If it looked injured, I would be concerned, but not every loose dog is lost. Also, I don’t like approaching strange dogs, even ones on leashes.
A young child by themself…completely and totally different story!! I don’t regard dogs with the same level of concern as I would a child. I don’t think it’s immoral to not stop everything you’re doing to respond to a lost or wandering dog.
This may be true, however there is a Lost Dog recovery group in NH, and many times pets do become lost in my rural area and sometimes take months to be recovered. One friend lost her dog permanently when he ran off into the woods - they never found him. So picking up a friendly dog and taking them to the shelter or a vet is a good way to help them get home if there's no contact info on their tag or you don't see them posted "missing" on the local FB pages. We don't have animal enforcement in my town, or many of the surrounding towns. We don't even have a full time police department!
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8 hours ago, Quill said:
When we were in that phase of life, we ate dinner late. It was always after 7 and it was often 8 or 9. A lot of people found it weird, and my kids needed a snack before sports, but that’s how we rolled for several years. I don’t like many crockpot meals and dh also makes a giant mess when he cooks. Not sure why but this is a fact. We did have a period in there when a kid made one dinner a week.
Same. We had a decent snack at 4ish, and then dinner at 9ish every night for years and years.
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4 minutes ago, *LC said:
The quote above says what everyone else on this thread (and all the similar ones before it) understand, you go above and beyond in planning and feeding family and guests. You are amazing.
I completely agree with that assessment. Full stop. End of Discussion.
However, I have some picky eaters along with my eat-anything eaters. some of most-adventurous eaters now were picky toddlers.
So, I do not think it is a crazy idea to keep canned green peas in your pantry that you can open, warm in the microwave, and put on the table whenever a picky toddler or kid or adult comes to dinner. You would do this, because you are a wonderful hostess who wants all your guests to be happy. Don’t make things hard for the picky eaters at your dinner just because SIL is the one that mentioned peas in a completely inappropriate way.
But she had already prepared an acceptable alternative, so the peas were really overkill.
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I want to reinforce the idea that if you give your reasons for your boundary or need, the crazy person will likely argue against your reasons even if they are valid. So I agree with Spryte that giving too much information is not helpful.
Is there a way you could use her need to be the one to make the decision/win/be right to lead her from your/her extremes to your ideal compromise position so that she thinks it's her idea?
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4 hours ago, Acadie said:
@regentrudeI think you nailed it, coming to a place with my life and health where I need to shift thinking of outdoor time as a reward for getting work done vs. an essential part of my health and my day, and dedicating daylight hours during the week. For me, that means more than just a 30-60 minute walk in my neighborhood. Something longer, someplace wilder.
Actually felt my heart lift, reading how you've prioritized this and worked other things in your life around it. Thank you 🙏
I'm intrigued with the possibility this could be a phase in women's lifespan development--for some women, at least--where we're just called outside, after decades of responding to other urgencies and imperatives.
I'd hesitate to assign gender to this phenomenon. My Dad made this discovery in his 40s as well, and spent the next 25 years becoming educated in outdoor skills and leading small-group trips through the Sierra Nevadas. I've long held his action as an inspiration for how to be healthy in your body into old-age, but only now am I coming to more fully understand the mental health aspect of it as well. Even if I'm not hiking the 4,000 footers (due to fear of heights!), I've come to recognize that I need daily exertion to feel well.
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Just now, marbel said:
In general I think that older china, and china with ornamentation, such as the gold rim on my "good" china, cannot go in the D/W. My old Wedgwood and new Mikasa go in. But I am not expert.
I do find that washing plates is not burdensome though, if the dishwasher is too full of other things. Please don't make me wash glasses or coffee mugs by hand! Plates, no big deal to me. Easy to wash and stick in the drainer.
Thanks for the response! My prior experience with my Mom's set made me avoid china, but maybe I'll give it another look.
And truly, I despise handwashing of any sort to the degree that won't buy anything that can't go through either the dishwasher or clothes-washer.
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My only experience of china was the set my mother had when I was a kid which lived in the hutch and only got used sometimes on Thanksgiving or Christmas. It couldn't be microwaved or put in the dishwasher due to a silver decoration, which is a deal-breaker for me. When getting married, we registered for Pfaltzgraff which we use everyday, but I don't know what the composition is. I think it's stoneware? It has held up quite well, but it shows gray marks from the flatware.
Now I'm curious about the durability & ease-of-use of finer china. Can it be used everyday? Microwaved? Dishwashed?
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RE: IUD Insertion...
I've had three Paraguard copper IUDs, and none of them were terrible insertions.
As I stated above, my 17yo recently got the Mirena without any insertion trauma, and she had never seen a gyn or been sexually active. She said the worst part was the measurement, but even that wasn't as bad as her worst cramps. And she is super-thrilled that she no longer has debilitating nausea and cramping because her period has been so light since she got the IUD. I wonder how much of the trouble with insertion has to do with the experience-level of the inserter?
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My 17yo got the mirena. She has a boyfriend, but was inexperienced with ob and otherwise. Her good insurance was ending, and I wanted her to have something that would last her through college, so we planned ahead to get it done before insurance expired. We went to PP for it because we wanted a provider who does these all day every day. She did a trial of similar hormones in pill form first to make sure there were no adverse effects. Insertion was not an issue. She did have bad monthly cramping prior, which has since disappeared.
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Lucky him who does no household inventory, shopping, unpacking and storage of all the stuff that comes in those boxes! At our house, boxes go next to the recycling, and are frequently repurposed. DH breaks them down just before taking all of the recycling to the transfer center - an entire truck-ful of recycling every 4-6 weeks. He probably enjoys this neverending chore as much as I enjoy the neverending laundry.
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Yes, but only once they reached their late teens AND proved to be responsible with it.
When they were toddlers and preschoolers, they were only allowed to have water away from the table. Combined with washing their hands and face before they left the table, we never had sticky messes around the house. When they were school-age, we would sometimes have a "picnic" on a blanket in another room.
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Have you considered banking your voice?
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Gratitude. Instead of focusing on regrets, I focus on things I am thankful for: That my kids love me even though I make mistakes, and they (mostly) appreciate the support I('ve) give(n) them. That my husband loves me even though I haven't always been easy to live with over the past 25 years. That, even if it still needs a lot of work, I have a roof over my head that no longer leaks, and has plenty heat and running water, and no lack of food. That I'm so lucky to live in such a beautiful place. That, even if we can't afford to treat some minor-ish medical issues, we're all mostly healthy. That I've been able to spend my kids' childhoods with them, learning and growing; that I like the people they've become, I like to spend time with them now that they're young adults, and they seem to enjoy spending time with me too.
I do sometimes feel an existential dread - waiting for the other shoe to drop, or anxiety that something will happen to spoil it all. I realize that if I practice nonjudgmental acceptance I can handle whatever happens next, so I try to be more present in the moment instead of borrowing trouble from the future.
I'll admit that it is not always easy to keep these things in the forefront of my mind, and hormones do play a role in the anxiety. Every day is a new chance to do better.
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Yep. She's using you. You've done well so far. I would continue in the same vein - only niceties, but no information sharing.
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I think the neighbor had it coming, and I'm on your kid's side. The trash is from his household, and he should make his brother take care of it.
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We switched to white towels when that happened here.
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Sounds like pinched nerves. Is it possible you have loose joints that are slipping while you're sleeping and catching up a nerve? I have had to be much more careful about my sleep positioning, since I started exercising and stretching, to make sure this doesn't happen.
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2 hours ago, Matryoshka said:
Where are they, though? Under what menu / what does one click on to find them? (my problem could still be that my target languages don't have them, but in case they do, I want to know where to look!)
I am listening to their French podcasts on Spotify, and was able to start with their first season which came out a few years ago. I just went and checked... Spotify only has their podcasts in French, Spanish, and English. There are other language learning podcasts and playlists available, though.
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4 hours ago, Selkie said:
Soy is beneficial without having the negative side effects of HRT. Here's an explanation of why soy is a safe alternative:
https://nutritionfacts.org/2019/11/21/how-phytoestrogens-can-have-anti-estrogenic-effects/
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It makes sense that soy diets alleviate the hot flashes due to the high amount of phyto-estrogen in soy. If you're avoiding HRT, you might want to avoid soy as well.
Update on p. 5 - Twins are losing weight - help please
in The Chat Board
Posted
Not twins, but my younger dd was a large baby who lost small amounts for the first few weeks, and then didn't really gain much for about 3 months. But she was eating well, making plenty of diapers, and developing normally. I visited a lactation consultant who was unconcerned, and then fired the ped who was insisting on formula and found a new ped who would support my breastfeeding. Dd is a healthy, happy 17yo now, all dance-muscle and on the low end of the weight charts. Interestingly, she went to SLP for a year in elementary, and is also diagnosed hypermobile - wonder if it's related...