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bodiesmom

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Posts posted by bodiesmom

    Interior painting?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    13 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

    If you're gonna live in one house until you kick the bucket, paint isn't much of a concern. We've never lived anywhere longer than four years so paint is HUGE to me. Our house was nice when we moved in but there's no question that it's better now. Part of me looks forward to finding our next house with good bones, great neighborhood, and horrid colors. INSTANT EQUITY! 

    Some before and afters. I really love this stuff. :biggrin:

    48992726_10216039552514686_5390977666436300800_n.jpg

    49947891_10216120374135176_4324167490155315200_n.jpg

    48393114_10215952712823748_2748868164241588224_n.jpg

    48367579_10215952712503740_5199035105531658240_n.jpg

    48370630_10215931757019866_1194068180360757248_n.jpg

    48361260_10215931757259872_8733877371498659840_n.jpg

    Quick hijack....Sneezyone-I LOVE your floors-that's exactly what I'm looking for! Could I bother you for their stats? 🙂 

    Is it customary in your area to pay coaches traveling expenses?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    3 hours ago, school17777 said:

    All four of my kids have been/are on travel clubs.  Only one soccer club charged travel fees for the coach each tournament.  We didn’t know ahead of time when joining the club that this would be the case, so I was annoyed by it and it was the most expensive club that any of our children have been in, so that made my annoyance even greater. Plus, every time there was additional fee - sometimes for a change of venue for practice, the coach would say, “The cost is ONLY blah blah blah.”  All those ONLY additional costs added up fast!

     

    eta: most of the clubs were coached by someone without a player on the team.  I’m assuming that the fees we paid covered their costs.  Not sure why the costs were not built in to the fees of the one club already.

    This is part of my beef with this particular situation-we weren't told ahead of time that this would be the case. 

    • Like 1

    Anyoneone dealing with PTSD/trauma personally?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    33 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

    The point on the Emerald Labs B Complex is the vits are methylated. If someone has methylation defects (MTHFR) and doesn't realize it, they might feel dramatically better switching over. I'm a mix with a heterozygous MTHFR defect and some other things that make me not tolerate methyls well, and the methylated vits are too much for me. There's a lot of discussion to be had about vits, and I currently take a food source B vit that doesn't give me problems. But just in general, the vits being methylated were why it would be such a dramatic improvement.

    Sort of in that vein, I tend to eat when stressed. I have to be very intentional and tell myself to buckle down and take BETTER care of myself than normal. So I make pots of split pea soup and am tighter on desserts, eat my salad, lean meats, and just take care of myself.

    Pen-quick question....

    My B levels are tanked. I just ordered the Emerald Labs B Healthy vitamins and am curious as to what kind of symptoms I could expect if it turns out the methylated vitamins are too much for me? Upset stomach? Jittery feeling?

    Curious-where do you donate your stuff?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    1 hour ago, Clear Creek said:

    I either pass things along directly to someone that can use them or I donate to Goodwill. I used to work at Goodwill and I have seen firsthand the help it provides. The goal of Goodwill is not to provide inexpensive items for people with lower incomes to purchase (I used to get chewed out at least once a week by people with that misconception) but to fund training centers to provide education and job skills training for people with disabilities, people with a criminal background, and people with other barriers to employment. I always recommend people visit a local Goodwill job training center and see what the real mission of Goodwill is.

    It makes me sick to my stomach to hear the argument that a person won't donate to Goodwill because they don't want to fund the CEO's jet or high salary or whatever. Refusing to donate only hurts the job training program in your local area, it doesn't hurt the CEO. Someone local - a veteran, someone with a disability, a displaced homemaker, someone with a criminal record - is the one who is directly affected. They will lose out on the job skills training, the boost in self-confidence that comes with being employable, and the income from the job they could have had. According to the Goodwill website, of the $5.87 billion in revenue in 2017, 87% ($5.1 billion) went towards programs (job skills training, education, etc.). The CEO earned approximately $700,000...slightly more than 1/10,000th of the total revenue.

    This is exactly, EXACTLY, what I'm going to share with my mom. 

    Thank you SO much, ClearCreek, for spelling it out for me. 🙂 

    Curious-where do you donate your stuff?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    12 hours ago, Patty Joanna said:

    I MEAN to go to Salvation Army, and I know for a fact that they do not just serve only those who fit their faith profile.  I work with a SA feeding program through our Orthodox parish.  I don't think I have met a single religious recipient of the meals.  

    That said, their truck is often unmanned, so I go to the one nearby that supports Jubilee Ranch, which runs a very effective juvie-intervention program.  

    And if I can't get across town in time and my car is going to explode with all the stuff...I go to Goodwill, two blocks away.  

    Lazy me.  

     

    Thank you, PattyJoanna-

    This is what I wanted to hear. It appears SA's hiring practices is what is so controversial. I'm very happy to hear that the gal from my first conversation was incorrect and that all people can benefit from SA.

    Their truck is often unmanned here as well, which is the primary deterrent that keeps me from donating to them

    Curious-where do you donate your stuff?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    3 hours ago, scholastica said:

     

    ETA: We donate to one store and shop at another so as not to run into any old “friends”.

    Wise words to live by....

    I just returned from a trip to the nearest Goodwill (I was looking for a bag that had been donated unintentionally...GAH! ). Anyway, since we donated just yesterday, I ran into quite a bit of our "old friends" and I have to admit...there was a teeny tiny temptation to grab them all and bring 'em back "home". 🙄  LOL!

    • Haha 1

    Curious-where do you donate your stuff?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted · Edited by bodiesmom

    7 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

    THIS is my life.  I have 3 disabled young adults and it is maddening .   My daughter got a small part time job and immediately lost $170 in benefits as she had "earned income".  I have to watch this and play the game very closely so that they don't lose their medicaid, etc.

    It is actually better in many cases for them to volunteer than have a paid job. 

     

    29 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

     Bingo.  Especially if they’re in a group residency program or able bodied with mom and dad but always going to need that scaffolding and care,  being able to find a very low wage job is actually kind of ideal.  I’ve been told it is enormously frustrating to have an adult child able bodied enough to be a janitor or bagger, and enjoying the agency and freedom of work, but not actually able to pursue as many hours as they’d like because they’d lose critical aid.  I have special needs mommy friends dealing with just this issue - it’s an awful catch 22 because I come thresholds are SO LOW.  

     

    ABLE accounts do help with this somewhat, thankfully.  That was such a needed thing.

     

    29 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

     Bingo.  Especially if they’re in a group residency program or able bodied with mom and dad but always going to need that scaffolding and care,  being able to find a very low wage job is actually kind of ideal.  I’ve been told it is enormously frustrating to have an adult child able bodied enough to be a janitor or bagger, and enjoying the agency and freedom of work, but not actually able to pursue as many hours as they’d like because they’d lose critical aid.  I have special needs mommy friends dealing with just this issue - it’s an awful catch 22 because I come thresholds are SO LOW.  

     

    ABLE accounts do help with this somewhat, thankfully.  That was such a needed thing.

    Thank you for gently educating me. I'm guessing most of us aren't aware of this particular struggle. 

    ETA-Ali in OR,  I meant to quote you, instead I quoted Arctic Mama twice... 🙂 

    • Like 4

    Curious-where do you donate your stuff?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    11 minutes ago, itsheresomewhere said:

     

    As for goodwill, I don’t use them as I find it wrong on how they can get away with paying so little to disabled employees ( under 50 cents and hour for some). 

    This is disturbing and enough to make me put forth the effort to find a more reputable organization. Where could I find more info on this? Is this kind of info easily found online (I haven't googled yet)

    As far as the CEO/private jet funding, etc. issue, I figured it was an individual who is reaping the benefits of an ingenious business model. I admit I don't know much except what I've heard through passing conversations.  

    Curious-where do you donate your stuff?

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I've had two separate conversations in the last month regarding where to donate items that are no longer needed/used. I'm just curious as to what the Hive has to say...

    The first conversation centered around the search for a local charity to which my friend could donate her goods. She refused to donate to Goodwill due to not wanting to "fund the CEO's private jet" and was hesitant to donate to the Salvation Army due to her claim that they don't help those who don't fit the "religious profile". I mentioned our local animal shelter takes donations and the conversation ended. 

    The second conversation regarding this topic came this morning with my mom. I mentioned I was cleaning house and was in the process of making several trips to the nearest Goodwill. This info triggered a lengthy lecture from her on how I shouldn't donate to Goodwill because it isn't a charity, the CEO makes too much money, she wouldn't "dare" donate her goods so another could be wealthy etc. She then immediately followed her lecture up with an enthusiastic "but I shop there all the time!" (oh the irony!!!).

    Personally, I donate to Goodwill. It's easy and it's close to my home. The way I see it is they are providing a service to me. I'm able to easily get rid of my unused goods and more discounted inventory is provided for families who shop there (myself included). It's a win-win from my perspective, but I do realize that many hold passionate opinions regarding where their stuff goes.

    All this to say, where do you donate and why? This is intended to be a light-hearted discussion. 🙂 

     

    • Like 3

    Perspective needed please re. older siblings sharing bed

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    22 minutes ago, Pen said:

    @bodiesmom

    One more perspective before you separate them to their own rooms:

    I think the possibility that the two siblings (or one of them) who gravitate to each other’s room out of some anxiety about being alone could have some real threat in their lives needs to be considered. 

    For example, could there be an older sibling (or other family member, or even outsider) bullying, scaring, or even molesting, one of the frightened children ?  

     Perhaps with threats not to speak of it, or in a way that creates fear, but perhaps without awareness of why, such as making scary sounds in one or both of the frightened children’s rooms.  

    This could also cause something like melatonin to be not a benefit of a little sedation in a completely safe environment, but a way to deprive someone of the ability to react and keep their wits about them in an  unsafe environment.

     

    Pen-

    Thank you for this-you've helped put some ideas on my radar.

    Perspective needed please re. older siblings sharing bed

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    13 hours ago, Halftime Hope said:

    Bodiesmom, you might also brainstorm some strategies:  I've awakened in the middle of the night, and I'm not next to sibling.  What do I do now?  I can pick one of these three choices (choose several options with them), and I'll be OK even though I'm not in the same plane as, nor adjacent to, my sibling.  

    And because I'm a bit mercenary, I'd also make some chewable melatonin handy (in a 1 or 2 mg low-dose chewable).  It makes me really sleepy, and it might get them over a hump.  Heh, heh!

    This was great! Thank you Halftime! I haven't tried the melatonin yet-my luck it would increase dd's anxiety. It might be worth a shot if we can't get her to reprogram her brain to sleep alone though.

    Perspective needed please re. older siblings sharing bed

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    3 hours ago, RootAnn said:

    OP-I hope last night was a good start & everyone got some sleep.

    RootAnn-thank you. 

    Last night went well. Both kids slept in their own rooms. I think the dogs in their rooms was key. We did have to walk older dd back to her room around 1 (she came into our room sometime after we went to bed ) but that was the only incident. 

    And now we buckle down for tonight...lol!

    Thank you, Hive. Your words of wisdom, concern, and questions that helped me flesh this out were all so helpful. Dh thanks you too! 🙂 

    • Like 10

    Perspective needed please re. older siblings sharing bed

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    23 minutes ago, Katy said:

    I'm wondering what's different about this house. Does it just feel creepier to them?  What about some sort of ceremony to clear out bad vibes? For Pentecostals this would be annointing oil crosses with prayers over the doorways and dancing and clapping to praise and worship music. For Catholics it might be holy water. For nonspecific spiritual people it might mean burning sage incense.  For the nonreligious family any of the above might work, or even a made up candle ceremony.

    The placebo effect is real, especially if you don't know about it.

    Thank you for this suggestion, Katy. I'm not sure what is different about this house. They love it here, but still miss home. We moved away from some dear friends of theirs. They still see them regularly but still...it's just not the same as living down the street from them. 😞 FTR we never had any kind of issue like this at our previous home. Everyone slept in their own rooms and beds without any issue whatsoever. 

    Perspective needed please re. older siblings sharing bed

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    1 minute ago, Halftime Hope said:

    You also mentioned "a dark, scary room."   It seems like that could be mitigated with a soothing voice or music (books on tape, etc.) playing as a sleep aid, a programmable nightlight, and even mattress-warmers to take the chill off the sheets.  

    Were I in the same spot as you've describer:  I'd separate the beds, and if needed to keep them quite close, I'd put them first at 90 degrees to each other, so that their feet were in the corner, and their heads were further apart.  

    In my family, I'd also have a gentle conversation about them both growing up and having different physical and emotional needs as their bodies mature.  They will have differing sleep and schedule needs, differing physical needs as their bodies mature and start doing grown-up things, and perhaps even different needs for personal space. To keep those changes from being wrenching, you and  their dad have decided to start them on a path of differentiating from each other, because you love them and don't want either of them to be hurt when one changes but the other doesn't at the same time or in the same way. 

    Best wishes OP.

    I had to quote because liking wasn't enough. 

    Thank you, Halftime. 🙂 

    So far the kids are on board. They've agreed to give it a shot with the help of the dogs, sound machines, and a string of Christmas lights. How much they truly "ARE" on board at midnight tonight will be a completely different story...lol. Dh and I have the game plan though. 

     

    • Like 4
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