EMS83
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Posts posted by EMS83
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I'm not sure what to tell you. Anxiety? You could try saying something to him gently, but I think for you to even be able to deal with a doctor, you need to prove incompetency on both their parts. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, though. And if you can't deal with doctors, then unless either your mom is willing to say something, or he is willing to go, there's not much you can do on that end. :(
Can you intercept at all? Anticipate what he wants and translate before it gets loud and repetitive? I know that may be an unpopular suggestion, but that's what I'd be inclined to do, especially in this situation and relationship. Otherwise, I'm not sure. I'm sorry. I hope it works out well and soon. :grouphug:
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I'm sorry. :grouphug:
Vent away. I guess you've explored a possible tipping point? I mean has it always been like this from day one, or did something change at some point? Is there perhaps something the adult said or did that bugged your DD? I know I had to apologize to a teen several years ago at church for something her mom didn't even notice or think was a big deal when it was explained, but I could tell the teen did and appreciated the apology. It was unintentional belittling, basically.
What does DD think about herself? If it's generally negative, this adult's negativity and lack of self-control could be feeding an already poor self image? Just thoughts; I don't mean to be bothersome or add stress. I hope you find relief and/or a solution sooner rather than later. Almost daily strife is a lot to bear. :grouphug:
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Nope, not nuts!! But then I'm the one who will sleep on the ground just fine and DH is the one who wants an air mattress. ;) My best friend camped with her babies. Just make the accommodations you need to--whatever fits your situation.
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:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Despite the burden, I do hope it's nothing serious!
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I wasn't, I'm not, but we are. But it's a completely 100% different situation to yours; I'll likely be an empty-nester at 45. Hope you come to a consensus with DH. :grouphug:
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:grouphug: , everyone.
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I don't have a firm response, but fwiw, we just went to a family reunion and I basically just sat around for 8 hours and soaked up the peacefulness (140 acre farm), and I didn't feel guilty. But that side of the family is pretty laid back; if you look like you're just dandy in your little corner, they'll leave you alone.
By "just" I mean like 6 weeks ago, lol.
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:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
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I keep checking back.
It feels good someone else is this way. I have always known I am introverted, but I didnt realize my low energy went along with this. Funny thing is that dh and both my boys are this way too. For instance most 4 and 5 year old boys are running and climbing and what not when you take them to a park and my boys always end up collecting pinecones or just wanting to walk by the river. I think I need to make it a priority for all 4 of us to get the downtime we crave.
Since you have brought it to my attention, I realize this is why I have felt so blah lately. Before I started homeschool, when the baby napped we all got downtime. Now naptime is school time and there isnt a downtime for us all everyday. One task runs into another and it is wearing me out. I used to get to rest and so dh used to get to rest when he got home. Not anymore because Im so drained, Im dragging him right into what me and the kids are doing as soon as he gets in the door. Sorry Im so focused on me, but I just now realized the source of a lot of issues I a having right now.
We still have "nap" time. It's tempting to abuse it, I won't lie, but something, half an hour to an hour is the only time I am not on-call and on-demand for someone all day. How I use it varies from yard work to message boards to tasks I need complete concentration and/or quiet for (finances, phone calls, etc.). Other times I'll Netflix or nap (usually Netflix if I'm behind on folding). Just the quiet and personal space is very helpful. And I let them have their 2DSes during that time; they're older and don't typically nap anymore.
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One thing that does help me is to remember the practical assists that the go-getters typically have. Or even that Charlotte Mason had. She could spend hours outside with children every day because someone else was mother, yet another person was cooking/cleaning, etc. SWB's kids are (probably?) grown at this point. When they were younger, her husband helped teach, and iirc, so did her mother. Someone else held down the fort while she was teaching classes. She has a staff at Peace Hill Press, too. If it's all you all the time, there are less obviously productive things you can get done. Here prioritizing helps tremendously to at least mitigate some of the mama guilt. And looking at time with opportunity cost in mind.
And I say "obviously productive" because often something like meal planning, grocery shopping, then cooking, clean up, dishes, plus overseeing mealtime isn't really "counted" in most people's minds as work or productivity. Same thing for keeping the house in order (often in the face of resistance), knowing where everything is in the house at any given time, who needs what and when, and so on. All of that is brain power. Being accessible to demanding little people 24/7 takes energy (especially if you're trying to stay pleasant 24/7!). And then if you are handling finances, household business, side work, side projects, yard work, pets, new skills, volunteer work, faith stuff, etc., that's just that much more, however much more it is (the bigger the house, the more pets, the bigger the yard, etc. all increase the load compared to fewer or smaller).
None of this is to negate the importance of taking care of yourself or powering through certain things, though; just an additional dimension that I think is often overlooked. :)
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When they were little bitty, it was mostly oatmeal, bananas, and sometimes Cheerios. These day's it's Honey Bunches of Oats, granola bars, and bananas (or whatever other fruit we have on hand). When our hens are laying, I'll scramble eggs. 1 cup of apple juice, some kefir. Apple juice and kefir (in separate cups, lol), and coffee for me. Any more cooking than that and it's going to be a "breakfast for dinner" meal.
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My dad found this: https://murphybeddepot.com/products/panel-bed-frame-free-shipping-to-cont-48-u-s-states?variant=31108645073
I've googled for hardware kits for king size beds multiple times; I conclude I'm not good at internet searches.
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Thanks! If I were building for a full, or maybe even a queen, I'd absolutely use the boat swivel; that's genius! I will probably use the basic design from the videos though; it's really nice looking. You can tell in the first video, though, he builds a lot. But the king mattress I want is around 150 lbs. plus I don't know how much weight in wood for the frame. I can lift 50 lbs. of feed or grit or whatever, but 200 lbs (which I know it wouldn't be the whole 200 lbs because of physics I can't figure out, but heavy enough that it concerns me). I need what I guess are called gas hinges. I have learned that yes, one company does make hardware for a king and the kit is $850. At this point I'm thinking the floor looks just fine. ;)
But hey, if someone with more physics sense than I have can help me figure out how much weight would actually need to be lifted with a free-falling hinge or swivel, I'm all ears! Would it basically be cut in half? So 100ish lbs? I know the weight transfers as it moves, but that's alllll I know. But I don't want to build something I can't operate.
I have also learned that a "Murphy bed" and a "wall bed" are two distinct things, so what I actually want to build is a "wall bed." I think I'll just start saying, "I want to build a flippin' bed." ;) :D
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O no!!! :grouphug:
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:hurray:
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As a mother who just buried her son, take care of your living children. You are going to be at the visitation. You care. I had some people just call. They could not be at the funeral. They had a family reunion in another state and could not make my son's funeral. Believe me I did not think less of them.
Take care of your children.
Linda
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
BarbecueMom, :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: for you and your extended family.
I'm sorry for both your losses.
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Not for a king. They have every other size, though!! I looked at that. The kits are around $300 just for hardware (that's on my line of "do I really want to spend that?"). But they do make it so the bed is way easier to lift and lower. I've suggested a queen mattress for just that reason; I don't know if that will fly, though. Probably for the hinges it won't matter, but for the bar at the foot of the bed, I'm not so sure.
I have not thought of ropes and pulleys, actually! I'll look into that; I have to study on other people's DIY jobs to get ideas.
I mean, I'm able to build a frame and get a new mattress (as opposed to just not having any bed), so I'm not complaining too hard...my brain's just feeling mushy.
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...for a king size mattress....For daily use....That I can lift up and down by myself....After I already designed a regular slatted frame and bought and cut lumber (2x6's, so I'm not re-purposing wood).... :svengo:
I realize I could just buy one, but I can't make myself spend the $$$. The $$$ needs to go to a good new mattress.
Just had to whine a bit, thanks for listening. :D
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If I let them, my kids would stay at the library all day. I usually limit a browsing trip to an hour, and if there are specific books I want, I put them on hold so pick up takes 5 minutes.
The grocery in-and-out time is 30-60 minutes depending on how much I need, how collected my brain is, and how the kids are behaving. I day I think we hit our storage unit and two grocery stores and home again in 90 minutes. But all of that is within a 10 mile radius (suburbs). 30-40 minutes of that was driving time, and I didn't need much at either store. But we haven't gotten much of anything else done today, so there's the trade off. :D
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and :grouphug: to those struggling with secondary infertility who are told "so you've got x amount of kids now, you're done!" when she doesn't want to be done, and she hopes she isn't "done."
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
Thank you.
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This must be family. If not, I'd unfriend them. ðŸ˜
I think DH would unfriend them even if they were family...
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I've noticed the general hot cakes price is 10% - 25% of the original purchase price. /shrug. I'd rather just give stuff away. Aren't there sale and swap boards here?
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So my middle was scandalized that I decided to mow today, in between viewing sessions. He was seriously convinced that the eclipse would blind me. Nothing he got from me. I blame their grandparents... :lol:
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Sandal; I can handle down to about 40. Otherwise, ankle-height Sloggers with a super tacky design on them. :D
Edited for grammar; I do have two feet. ;)
For fun: If only we could tell our boss / client / kids ....
in The Chat Board
Posted
That one had me :lol: .
I can't do this because I'm doing something else. And after that, I'll be doing something else; and after that... ;)
To be fair, I often wonder if "something else" is really necessary.
This week I told DD, "I can't be <insert Whatever She Wanted> Mom this week, I'm busy being Builder Mom."