[school out of line? (re: DD)]

Another vote that the nurse probably had her hands tied in the matter, especially if the principal was not in the building. Also, it's important for teens to realize that if they speak powerful words, people will take them seriously - that can be both good and bad. I understand the psych hospital visit wasn't pleasant, it's not pleasant for the others who are there as well.

 

Your anger should be directed towards the school that didn't address the bullying situation properly. The girls that drove your dd to this point should be ashamed of themselves and if I were the principal there, I would be livid that any child felt distressed to the point that your child did. I would absolutely request tuition reimbursement and complain (about the bullying) to whatever board governs the school.

 

I'm so sorry your daughter is upset. I hope you both are better soon. There's no pain like seeing our child in pain.

[teachers lying]

My middle daughter had a 504 for Celiac Disease. It was written into her 504 that if she should try to ask permission, but if she needed to leave, she was able to leave immediately without waiting for the teacher. I stressed to her to not abuse it, but always leave if she needed to go immediately. It's a reasonable accommodation.

[teachers lying]

Teachers can lie, unfortunately. However, if your son notices the accident AFTER class, the teacher (out of ignorance) may think it's happening after class. I'd give the benefit of the doubt ONE more time but make things perfectly clear so there is no room for misunderstanding.

 

Does he have a 504? 504 Plans are usually for medical conditions. This would make things crystal clear with everyone. Have your doctor/gastro send a note providing the problem and what needs to happen to make things easier for your son. Soiling accidents are humiliating for the child and humiliation makes the problem worse.

 

Suggestions for accommodations:

 

1. Child will arrange with teacher for a signal that will let the teacher know the child needs to use the bathroom at any point. (My daughter, by the way, used to say that she wasn't allowed to go - sometimes the teacher would ask her if she could wait five minutes until recess and my daughter would always agree, even if she couldn't. We asked the teacher to quit asking her that and she was happy to comply. Other times, the 'class rule' was to not allow potty breaks and the teacher was told to make sure she told my daughter that the rule didn't apply to her. )

2. If child notices that clothing is soiled, child is allowed to go straight to nurse/guidance counselor's office to retrieve spare clothing (left in advance by parent) and change. Soiled clothes will be kept in nurse's office and retrieved by parent at the end of the school day. (This allows the child to NOT have to explain to the teacher they had an 'accident').

3. Child will be allowed to keep a water bottle at their desk and drink throughout the day (this helps relieve constipation issues that are common with soiling).

 

Also, provide handouts for the teacher and request that he read them. If you are sitting at a table with the principal and other school members, he is far more likely to smile and agree than if you simply send to school one day.

 

Good luck :)

[Trauma, Anxiety, Regression - how do I catch up?]

Thanks for the continuing replies. I want to clarify that while we do not know all the details, there is no doubt about the incident that took place to cause her trauma. I don't believe that the other person involved has actually killed children and he may not have even told her that fact and she may have easily imagined/dreamed it up. She very much believes he will hurt her because she talks to her therapist about what happened. She is on medication for anxiety which has helped, tremendously.

[Trauma, Anxiety, Regression - how do I catch up?]

Thank you for all the replies. We do have to turn in grades but were excused from standardized testing. I have to show attendance but not lesson plans (unless requested). I feel a bit better about not having much of a plan at the moment. I suppose it's end of school year panic. Not only do we not have anything much to show for the year (academically), she's actually not at the point where she was at the beginning of the year.

 

We haven't discussed this with our family at all so our household appears odd to family members. (For example, I don't let youngest dd go somewhere after dark unless I'm there as well. This is her preference, but to avoid explaining I tell them it's MY preference so they think I'm hugely over-protective and smothering). The additional stress of having my parenting questioned drives me crazy at times.

 

We aren't a very religious family but this particular daughter is very religious, almost to the point of compulsion, especially since therapy started. I will look into meditation and see what we can come up with.

 

I do think we've finally accomplished her feeling safe at home. (Or at least, she doesn't spend the day hiding behind the couch any longer). We've worked through feeling safe and being believed. We've been debating about letting our dog sleep in the house (in her room specifically) and will probably go ahead and do that (after a bath and haircut since he makes me sneeze). She has said before that she would feel safer if he was in there with her.

 

Thanks for the reassurance. I think we're going to move her to 3rd grade but academically repeat 2nd. She still doesn't understand how homeschool works (she was in public school until middle of 1st grade) but I think if I can show her that she'll do 2nd grade work, she'll be fine. (And I feel good about her catching up later).

 

I'm open to any other thoughts. Thanks again.

[I need a Christian/Bible based reading program]

I need a reading program for my youngest daughter (2nd grade). For this year, we had settled on her simply reading and utilizing Grammar Island. Unfortunately, our year became majorly off-track in November and is only now getting back in order. She is in therapy due to trauma and anxiety. We did not utilize Grammar Island after November. I plan to spend part of our summer going through it with both girls.

 

She is a bit OCD-ish (related to her anxiety) about God and willingly reads the Bible and Bible stories every day. Since schoolwork also makes her anxious, I'm hoping to 'trick' her into wanting to learn with a Bible based or Christian based reading program. As well, due to her trauma - she becomes upset if she reads about children dying or moderate violence.

 

She is a strong reader but her comprehension (regarding re-telling) is questionable. She can answer questions just fine and has great recall of what she read (she just can't put it in her own words).

 

Any suggestions?

[Trauma, Anxiety, Regression - how do I catch up?]

Please don't quote - I'll delete in a few days.

 

 

[Does this seem rude to you?]

If chips were on the counter, my kids would believe that was an option.

 

I wouldn't consider it rude.

[Large families on a budget-eating healthy?]

For those of you with either Artisan Bread or Healthy Bread in Five Minutes a Day...can you look and see how many gluten free recipes are in the books? I don't mind ordering the book, but I'll be annoyed if there are only 1 or 2 recipes. I'd love to start baking our own bread, but we must have gluten free. Our oldest is highly sensitive. Thanks :)

[Could it be appendicitis?]

For dd, it was nausea and some vomiting, but no diarrhea. The pain continually became worse and it hurt to stand. She was lethargic and slept a lot and didn't improve, no matter what meds were given. Finally, on the way there, she said it felt like we were riding over a bumpy road (at the hospital, they asked if she had complained of bumpy roads and said it was a common complaint). She wasn't able to jump or bend her knees to her chest.

[Broken glass in door - how do I keep it from falling out?]

Also, will I need a new door or can I replace the glass in this one?

[Broken glass in door - how do I keep it from falling out?]

Thanks. I'm taping away at the moment until I figure out what to do. It's a hinged door.

 

Unfortunately, the only duct tape I have are the fun fashion ones. So my door is a bright mixture of peace signs and animal prints. My step-dad is bringing over more secure stuff (they live next door).

 

Thanks for all the suggestions (and I welcome further input!). I'm laying down old sheets to hopefully contain it as much as possible (I can throw the sheets away).

[Broken glass in door - how do I keep it from falling out?]

It looks like tempered glass. The entire window (not just point of impact of something) looks cracked - like little pieces all over. Only one place on the other side feels sharp, but it all looks like it will fall out at any moment.

 

I can't remove the entire door because we do not have a screen door. This is the door leading from the laundry room (right off the kitchen) to the outside. Even if I remove the glass today, that leaves us with no ability to secure our home at night (not just from people, but from animals as well). We are in a very low crime area (and out in the country - nobody would even notice the missing glass), but I won't sleep well.

 

I have someone coming out to look at it (but not repair) today. (He's coming out to give us quotes on other projects).

 

[Broken glass in door - how do I keep it from falling out?]

This is more of a DIY type of question. We have a door with a solid glass panel and framework over it to look like it has 12 small panels of glass. Somehow the glass shattered, which shattered the whole thing. It looks like tempered glass - lots of little pieces.

 

It's still in the door frame but any little jolt and it will come tumbling out.

 

This door leads to my laundry room and my washer isn't working correctly. It shakes and rattles. I have no doubt that one load of laundry will break the glass into millions of little pieces on the floor.

 

How can I support the glass until I can get it fixed? It will probably take a couple of days to repair but my washing needs to be done daily. Should I tape it? And if so, with what? I don't know if I can wedge cardboard on top of the glass on both sides of the door and I don't want tape marks all over the door frame.

 

Any suggestions?

[How do you tell others 'why' you HS without sounding judgmental?]

I usually tell them that the girls needed so much individual attention that we felt it was better for them if they were taught at home. I usually follow that up with the (true) comment that the teachers in our district are over-worked, under-paid, have over-crowded classrooms and work SO hard. It usually conveys the impression that I have the utmost respect for the teachers in our district but my kids needed more than they could give. Since my mother and other relatives are employed by the school district, it was a delicate tightrope, but most people are okay with my response.

 

And then yes, I change the subject. :D

["Shotgun" weddings? Do they end in more divorces/unhappy marriages?]

I think the wording of 'shotgun marriage' is a bit fuzzy. To me, a shotgun marriage is where a pregnant female and family force the young man to get married and he agrees unwillingly. Just because a pregnancy is involved does not make it a shotgun marriage in my opinion.

 

Pregnancy prior to marriage may complicate matters, but I think if a couple is committed to making things work and willing to grow up fast, they will be fine. In regular marriage, a willingness to make things work and grow up is also needed - lol.

 

My Step-brother and SIL had a rocky start to their marriage. She was pregnant, her family was furious, my step-brother loved her AND wanted to do the right thing. The wedding was full of arguments between the families but things settled over the years. Babies and children have the ability to soften hearts over time. They had their struggles - probably more than their share, but they are still together after 18 years and writing each other sappy love notes and dedicating songs to each other on facebook and everywhere they go.

[Black eye after oral surgery?]

Thanks - yes it was her upper teeth. It's her left eye and it was her left side that they had trouble with and had to do the procedure twice. The inside of her mouth was so ugly looking that my youngest threw up after seeing it.

[Black eye after oral surgery?]

My oldest daughter had a horrible time with oral surgery this past week. On Monday she went in to have two impacted canines exposed and chained (under anesthesia). They had difficulty with the one on her left side, but overall things went well. Due to her autism and sensory issues, she became agitated after we arrived home and pulled out her sutures (the ones she could feel, there were some that she couldn't get to) and all of the work on her left side. She literally pulled the bracket off of the tooth that hadn't emerged yet. There was significant bleeding.

 

Since we were so far from our oral surgeon, I had to go in her mouth and clip the chain off of her braces (she had also pulled off a couple of brackets from her front teeth) myself. (I did the clipping under telephone guidance of our oral surgeon since we were worried about her safety.)

 

Our psychiatrist put her on Ativan to calm her down and we went back to the oral surgeon on Wednesday and they re-did the procedure. This time, it looks like they cut the gums around her palate and exposed the side of that tooth. The roof of her mouth doesn't curve like most people, it's a 'V' shape. The gums on the underside of her top teeth (where the procedure was done) are very, very swollen. They do not look inflamed or infected but are swollen and soft. I think that's where both teeth will be emerging.

 

This morning, it looked like she had a shadow around her eye. (She was playing with one of her stitches that is coming out and has had some bleeding in her mouth today). By tonight, her left eye was discolored with green and black/brown around it. She's non-verbal so we aren't sure what happened. We've been very careful with her due to all the medicine she's on. I'm fairly certain she hasn't fallen or hurt herself.

 

Can the black eye be from the surgery? It's on the same side as the problematic dental work. And is it a problem or just a natural part of healing?

[Help me create an appetizer with these ingredients:]

Mushrooms, fresh basil leaves, fresh mozzarella and tomatoes.

 

I'd love to have the mushrooms baked (portabello's), then layer mozzarella and basil leaves - topping with tomatoes. Should I drizzle with some type of flavored oil or vinegar? Or is there a different (easier) way to do it? My daughter is cooking dinner tonight (3 cheese eggplant bake, appetizer and chocolate chip cheesecake). She wants it to be healthy (as in wholesome), gluten free and meatless.

[Clothes drying racks.....]

I have two cheap wooden racks that I use for pants or blankets. When I'm caught up on laundry, I ask the girls to hang their bath towels on it so we can re-use them (I haven't had a chance to install something that would hang towels in the bathroom yet).

 

I have a large umbrella style one that spins that came with the house. (The previous owner told my mother that out of all things she left here, she misses the laundry rack the most). It's great in the summer and clothes don't blow around. I think they are expensive though.

 

The BEST rack I have wasn't much and I bought it at Wal-Mart. It's the type of hanging rack that you would use as a closet to hang clothes on. You hang pants at the bottom, shirts on top and dresses on the end. However, we use it as a clothes drying rack. Since we hang most of our clothes for all of us (lots of closet space so we don't use dressers), I hang the clothes straight from the wash (shirts and dresses) and put them on that rack to dry. We have floor vents so sometimes I roll it over a floor vent if I have the heat on. I can hang a lot of laundry that way.

 

I have also used a rolling laundry cart (without the bags - just using the frame) to hang light stuff. The girls loved it because they would roll it around the house to put up laundry.

 

Sometimes, the best things to use as drying racks weren't really meant to be drying racks in the first place. Use your imagination and see what you have lying around that could be turned into something.

[DD and incontinence]

Interesting. Thanks for the info. :)

[DD and incontinence]

Thanks for the suggestions. Since I have an older daughter prone to UTI's, I have some home test strips. I'll check using that first.

 

Things seem to be much better. Both DH and I were long-term bed-wetters and so was our middle daughter. Our youngest isn't chronic, but we can all sympathize with today's situation.

[DD and incontinence]

Thanks. We're treating for constipation, 'just in case'. Last week she had three days of 'cleaning' out and is on a daily laxative (miralax). The fecal incontinence is better (unless she's hiding it).

 

Things are a bit better. DH came home more relaxed. DD is enjoying Easter and everyone seems to have calmed down.

[Help QUICK! My skirt is clinging to the back of my legs. I've never had this problem before - must be the kind of fabric.]

hairspray!

[Feeling pretty defeated]

It's best to learn these lessons while they are young. Let kids make kid mistakes when the stakes are low.

 

Additionally, you can't possibly be a bad parent or other parents wouldn't have come to you with these situations. They must know you care and would want to know.