Slipper
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Posts posted by Slipper
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I won't give her too much credit for not lying. Remember, these comments were made in front of other people. My guess is that numerous people will also testify that she used this type of language.
I do agree that she is of the age where there are still bad attitudes towards those of a different skin color. I live in Alabama and still see it. It seems to get better with each generation so I have hope.
People who speak and think that way are a dying breed. You see plenty of children having friends of all shapes, colors and abilities.
I think PD didn't get the memo that times are changing, and her views are no longer appropriate. They're not romantic or a 'fun' time in our history. To play into that fantasy is wrong. We're better than doing something like that. I would think very poorly about someone who felt having 'slaves' at an event would be appropriate. It would make me horribly uncomfortable to even be there.
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Thank you for all of the interesting discussion. First, if I have caused offense by using the word 'tip', sorry. :) I'm not familiar with the proper words so I'm rather ignorant in that area.
Also, this will be taking place during the regular worship service on Sunday. I didn't word that correctly in my first post.
This is a small church. There is no assistant pastor, church secretary, or anyone I can call (I don't have the phone numbers for the elders). My daughter will be either the first or second child he's ever baptized (other than his own) so he probably has no set policy.
I am absolutely positive that he would not expect any type of gift or money.
I feel very strongly that I should do something nice for him and his family (we have started socializing outside of church). They have six kids and I don't believe his salary is high. Maybe a gift certificate to a restaurant?
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My 8 year old daughter wants to be baptized. She has had numerous questions about religion and also other issues. Our pastor has met with us almost weekly for several months to discuss the Bible with her. As well, she had to talk to the session of the church about being baptized and agonized over that for several weeks. During that time he was encouraging and patient. He finally asked the session to meet on a night they typically don't meet, solely to be convenient to her anxiety. (They met after dinner on Wednesday night rather than their typical night).
When we married, we tipped the minister who officiated in a thank you card. Is the same done for baptism? And if so, how much? We are in a small church (Presbyterian denomination).
We won't be in town this Sunday, so I can't ask anyone until next Wednesday (three days before the Baptism). I'll double-check, but would like to know what others have done.
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Honestly, I feel her pain. Trying to load up with a 2 yr old in tow is not fun. I probably would have offered to help load the car or watch the kids. If all else failed, I would ask her if she at least had the emergency brake on.
Where was her husband?
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This question is about my daughter who isn't testing as gifted, but I thought you all would know the answer.
My youngest daughter is going through testing for various reasons. (Long story). Our psychiatrist looked at the scores and felt the IQ test was not correct because the achievement scores were higher (for most areas, not all). I had never heard this before and after googling, it seems that there are two schools of thought. I would love to hear your opinions. (Just as a note - it's possible for the IQ to be off due to the conditions of her being tested as well as her anxiety - she was more comfortable with the lady who did her achievement testing).
Her IQ (if I'm reading this correctly) for WISC-IV was a 92 (Verbal Comprehension - 93, Perceptual Reasoning 98, Working Memory 94, Processing Speed 91).
Her Achievement:
Total Achievement - 108
Broad Reading - 120
Broad Math - 91
Broad Written Lang - 100
Academic Skills - 110
Academic Fluency - 109
Academic Apps - 102
My daughter is 8 years old and will be starting 3rd grade.
Any thoughts appreciated. Thanks :)
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That's what we're saying. A developmental optometrist is a better eye doc and will catch things the regular eye doc misses. Go to a developmental optometrist. COVD has a doc locator.
ohhhhh....got it. Sorry, I can be a bit slow to pick up on things. I'll do that, thanks.
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The visit went well. He was reluctant to look into anything at this point until her anxiety is better. She had some testing done through the school and he made some suggestions based on their results. He felt that she may have some type of learning disorder in math. He said her sensory issues would not be enough for a diagnosis as she functions (overall) very well. The anxiety is gumming things up. (She's recovering from trauma and is in therapy as well as medication). We see him again in three months and he felt that we would be in a better position to look at other things at that point.
My oldest has autism so I'm fairly familiar with sensory issues which is why some of her behaviors struck me as odd. I'm not in a huge hurry and can wait three months.
She has had her eyes checked numerous times and they are always fine. Interestingly, she sometimes will wear her sister's reading glasses because they help her and she complains about her eyes a lot. Perhaps I need a better eye doctor. lol
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Just to chime in again, I wanted to add that while the schools here do not think highly of homeschoolers, they are not openly hostile. They have some justification to their beliefs. It's not unusual in this area for parents to pull their kids out after an argument with the school and they (the parents) are floundering. They do not own curriculum or seem interested in looking for even the lowest costing ones for major subjects (math and reading). Usually the arguments are over truancy and typically the child is about to fail a grade when the parent pulls them. These kids usually resurface in the system in a few years, but are behind. (Not saying that this is true everywhere, but it is here).
I have had prior contact with the school system with my oldest daughter (who is currently in public school). She has a complicated IEP and fantastic services. I worked hard to put those services in place and the system knows that not only will I question their 'policy', I will challenge it if I must. In one extreme situation, I did have to hire an attorney after the behavior of one of their teachers became outrageous. I also flood them with thank you notes and cookies/pound cakes when times are good (so you don't think I'm a complete ogre lol).
I know the school won't needlessly challenge me because, frankly, they can't afford it (attorney fees). They won't report me to social services because it will be seen as retaliation for a particularly ugly situation that happened last year with one of their teachers. (A very long story that ended with profuse apologies from the school board). They can't accuse me of any negligence or abuse because none exists and there is nothing to even try to build upon. The house is clean, plenty of food, the girls see doctors frequently and we address situations immediately as they arise.
I don't know why they insisted they come to my house. It may be they were curious as to what I do here at home or they may have wanted to jab at me just a small bit because they could. The politics of the situation are that they probably won't do anything more. If the situation were different, I may not have asked for their help or would have refused them coming over. I was uneasy about them coming over, but I need this evaluation and I need it to not cost me anything. (My husband is currently out of work and I don't work so we're living on our savings).
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She really needs a psychiatrist who can treat her properly..
She does have a psychiatrist. We are seeing him on Tuesday. I was hoping that I could get some thoughts for things to look into prior to the appointment.
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My youngest is 8 years old and typically developing. I have noticed over the years so unusual behaviors.
-Hates tags in clothing and seams in socks
-Cannot stand to have her fingernails cut. It 'hurts' her fingers and bothers her when she touches anything smooth for days (such as paper, or sheets).
-Very clumsy. It's a good day if she has less than 20 bruises on her body.
-Excels in reading but struggles in math.
-Horrible handwriting. Writes letters from bottom to top, reverses. This couldn't be corrected even with an OT.
-Profoundly dislikes 'soft' items. She doesn't like soft blankets or stuffed animals (unless they have a coarser 'fur' rather than soft/cuddly).
-Picky eater but loves sour foods. Everything else is usually 'spicy' which she won't eat.
-Very creative.
Any thoughts? We see our psychiatrist (she has anxiety) on Tuesday and I'd like to ask his opinion.
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Just to update, the teacher came by today and stayed for about an hour. She took several pages of notes. That should be our only visit before our meeting. I was anxious during it, but there was nothing difficult about it (other than my daughter quit speaking about halfway through - she wasn't terrified, she just wasn't comfortable and decided not to speak.)
I can understand the concerns mentioned on this thread. The school could have done this differently (by using our tutor for the observation), but they didn't. I don't think they are ill intended, just ignorant in what to do in this situation. It's possible I'm wrong but I hope not.
In our situation, the odds are in my favor that a home visit is simply a home visit - nothing more. The house was clean, our curriculum was out, artwork and schoolwork hanging around the house (which is typical). This daughter tests a little below grade level for math, but well above grade level elsewhere. My other daughter typically scores high on standardized tests. What can they do to hurt me? We live in a district that's a failing district (identified by the state educational dept). Our district is also known for sex and alcohol in the bathrooms in middle school and a high drop out rate in high school. They have enough problems on their hands without adding me into the mix. Definitely unnerving, but I needed what it would bring me. Like a PP stated, if it's for my kid, I have to suck up the anxiety and do what I need to do.
Still, I'm glad the visit is over - lol.
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If you're in that deep, your only choice is to keep going. But let me get this straight, it's still just to determine IF they will go ahead and get a full psych eval? Love the run around. But you're in, so you keep going.
They did an IQ test and educational evaluation. I didn't ask for a full psych eval. This was to determine if she had any type of learning disorder. (I don't need them to determine her anxiety since I know she has that, BUT they had to also look into it since it's a factor. They did this through questionnaires and notes from our psych and therapist).
If I want the interpretation from the results and the recommendations, I keep going. I want them.
Also, if things become very difficult (and at times this year, I truly doubted my ability to homeschool her), I can request homebound services. (She cannot go back to school. Our psychiatrist suspects that whatever has happened to upset her this badly, happened at school. She will not and possibly cannot talk about it). In order to receive homebound, I need to keep going.
At this point, I feel confident about continuing to homeschool her. So, I don't anticipate needing homebound services. I do need the evals. If I feel like they missed something in their eval, I can request a full educational evaluation (and I may do that, still not sure). But, I have to cooperate if I decide to go that route.
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Sorry, I probably left some detail out of my original post that I should have included. We have already done the testing (which isn't as thorough as I'd have liked). They did an IQ test and ability test. My daughter has a diagnosis of anxiety but struggled with schoolwork this year (she had just started therapy for trauma related issues). Our therapist/psychiatrist felt that the struggle was normal, but wanted to test to rule out learning problems. Currently, she struggles with math and she cannot seem to connect her brain to her 'output'. On spelling tests, she will write the words incorrectly but vocally spell them correctly. I suspect some dyspraxia or dysgraphia issues. (I think those are the words I mean lol).
The school psychologist did the testing at a different school than the one she is zoned to attend if she were in public school. She becomes ill, nauseated sometimes to the point of vomiting, whenever she goes into the elementary school building. Our psychiatrist and therapist both wrote notes to the school stating that she had extreme anxiety and was not able to attend school, specifically that school. (If significant issues are found I would consider home bound services).
They said the only thing left before our IEP meeting is to do an observation of schoolwork and her at play. The only thing that I found weird was the fact that they weren't interested in that observation coming from our tutor. Our tutor is a public school teacher currently working in our district at her zoned school. She would know what information they needed and has observed her in both situation. And I gave permission for her to talk to them and she did fill out observation sheets. So, I'm not sure why they need to come over. My observation of our district is that they are more ignorant than malicious. I think it's a new situation for them and they aren't sure what to do.
Also, we are in a state that does not offer services to homeschoolers. What I will receive at the meeting will be the testing results (and the option to request my own evaluation at public expense) and a list of suggestions (which I hope will be helpful). She's coming out tomorrow (and it will be the only time she comes out as far as I know) which is why I'm starting to get anxious today. I've only spoken to one other homeschooler here and she said that while the school is nice, they have a low opinion of homeschoolers. Honestly, I don't know what they could do to me. Though my daughter struggles, she tested above grade level in everything but math.
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My youngest daughter needed testing for learning disabilities and we couldn't afford it through our psychiatrist/psychologist's office. I asked the school to test her and they were agreeable (this was back in March). As part of her testing, they need to do an observation of her doing schoolwork and at play. Her math tutor is a public school teacher and at first they were going to ask her to do the observation for them. However, they called last week and said they needed to come out to our house and observe me working with her.
I'm not worried about them finding anything weird or odd. We're in a very relaxed state for homeschooling and the teacher I'm spoken with is very nice. I am anxious over the visit, simply because that's the type of thing to make me anxious.
Any idea how long an observation lasts? Is there anything specific they would like to see? Currently, I plan to go over her math work and perhaps do a spelling test. If they want more, I will have her read her next reading lesson to me..
Updated in post #28
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We had a moment of crisis with our youngest this year. Her behavior had been off for quite a while and during therapy, quite a bit came out. She had major regression and has completely forgotten all of 1st grade. We're having to re-teach. Her therapy was weekly with a therapist and monthly with a psychiatrist. I have another daughter who is disabled and had lots of doctor visits. All of our appointments were an hour away as we're in a small town. My daughter's crisis caused me to have my own personal crisis (anxiety/depression kicked in). My middle daughter has Celiac, so I couldn't take shortcuts in cooking.
Honestly, we didn't do much school. We cut way back on math since my youngest couldn't do any of it and my middle daughter worked at a slower pace on her own. Putting the family back together was more important than schoolwork. (And, I saw my doctor and started taking medication for anxiety). I used lots of educational videos, computer games, reading books. I spent lots of time just enjoying the girls; swinging, cuddling, playing games. I also cut myself a break and I refuse to feel guilty for this year. It was a rough year. We're continuing with schoolwork through the summer to catch up in math, but everything else is on track.
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Thanks for the replies. We did order TT 7 and she'll use it during the summer. If anything comes up during the review portion, her tutor will help her with it. My hope is that she'll do great with it.
Another question, if anyone is still following the thread, what do you use for high school math? If a child is able to do calculus in high school, what was used?
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Thanks for the clarification. I had searched yesterday about Teaching Textbooks but was still confused after reading the threads. I had misunderstood the placement tests so that absolutely helps me. She passed the placement test for TT level 7, but the parts she missed were in a specific area so it was obvious there was a gap.
About supplements, my thoughts were that if there was a gap in something like word problems, I would just address that area. For a supplement, I would want something small because she will have a fairly large school load (by her request to take some extra things that she is interested in).
I think I will purchase TT 7 and since we have a math tutor for the summer, she can help target the gaps that come up. My hope is that DD will be on solid ground once summer is over and not need the tutor.
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We are currently using a combination of Khan Academy and MUS for math. I did a horrible job in math last year. (Short story, my youngest had significant trauma which affected our whole family). Math is my weak point and I didn't do much with it for either child.
My middle daughter is bright and typically tests above 95% in math. This year, she tested in 77%. We decided to change math simply as a fresh start and because she doesn't like MUS.
I've given her the placement tests and she passed 6th grade perfectly. She passed 7th grade perfectly with the exception of one area. She loved the set up of TT.
Should I start her off in 7th grade level for math? She's going into 6th grade, but she really breezed through that test so quickly. She knew most of 7th grade, but she loved the practice areas online for that grade.
I know there are criticisms about TT. Should I use a supplement with it? I really need something with video. I do have a math tutor coming over to help both girls catch up (they both didn't do as well in math as they could last year). I can do math, but I have trouble explaining it.
To sum it up - am I right in placing her in 7th? And do I need a supplement (and if so, why and which one?) We are working in math through the summer to catch up.
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I'm looking for a geography program for my daughter going into 6th grade. We have typically considered geography to be lumped into history (SOTW). I'd like to go ahead and break this into a separate subject for her. Any suggestions?
Also, we have used Noeo for science and really love it. My husband was wondering if there was a program that was similar but had lessons on video/dvd? (She scored in the 97th percentile for science on the Stanford10 and this is a high interest for her as well).
Overall I'm looking for programs that can be done independently of my help (other than basic assistance). She typically grabs both student and teacher text and works alone (except for literature).
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Thanks. We can afford the programs and testing. I meant that we'll need scholarship money to make it through college once they are old enough. We'll have college costs for two kids and our oldest is disabled and will need lifetime care.
I'll look into the EXPLORE test for her to take at the end of next year (assuming that's possible).
Being around other kids who are similar would be great. Thanks again.
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We enrolled dd11 into Duke's TIPS program. I wanted her to do a couple of the classes that they offer online as well as the book of the month (type) program.
Is there any benefit from looking at any of the other talent search programs? I am not familiar with any long-term significance they might have for when she prepares for college, but she will need scholarship money. Would belonging to more than one program be favorable? She's going into 6th grade and it looks like most of these programs become more serious in 7th grade. Based on her test scores over the past few years, I feel like she will maintain being in the top 5%.
Also, in several areas (Stanford 10 and OLSAT), she maxed out at 99. I've read posts about other parents choosing to test their kids at a higher grade level to prevent hitting the ceiling. Should this be something I look at for the future?
Thanks for your thoughts.
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It's been my experience to never ask for what I need, but to outline what is necessary for an appropriate education and somehow everyone comes to the conclusion that what I wanted is actually what I need. (I'm not sure that made sense lol).
I'm not sure what your child's particular needs are, but I'll tell you what I requested to receive an aide capable of working with my daughter (non-verbal autism) and dealing with possible seizures.
I told them that my daughter would need assistance with toileting issues including help when she begins her cycle. I also let them know that if she wasn't taken to the toilet within seconds of indicating a need, she would soil herself and immediately remove her clothing. (She's 13 and developing quickly).
She also has anxiety and will self-injure unless she has significant time in a resource room.
I fully expect the person working with my child to be experienced and capable of educating my daughter. (FAPE)
She has had seizures in the past and someone needs to be with her in case of falls to prevent injury.
She is a runner and has escaped numerous times in the past, including at school which has necessitated 911 involvement.
I had documentation (from doctors, therapists and consultants) and received a 1:1 para for her, which is what I wanted, even though I never outright asked for it. I did this for every issue I wanted addressed (therapy, paras, classroom equipment). At the same time, I never asked for more than what I needed and if I thought it could be done cheaply, I brought that up as well.
Have the documentation, if possible hint at all the bad things that could happen if what you want isn't provided (so they think liability), explain the need for certain things to be in place for your child to receive a free and appropriate education.
If I can help, feel free to PM me.
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Mathmarm, when I was expecting our first, we had SO many plans. As soon as she was born, she was whisked into a room with every toy imaginable (educational) and a full set of immersion videos for learning Spanish. When she didn't begin to babble on time, our doctors thought perhaps we had confused her with two languages being presented. Within a few months of removing the videos, we discovered she was severely autistic. Not only did she not learn Spanish (or English), she is non-verbal. We came crashing down to earth but learned a very valuable lesson.
Now, our expectations for our kids are that they be happy and able to live up to their potential, no matter what their potential may be. Our children have differing abilities from high to low. The joy they bring to our lives is immeasurable.
I would like to encourage you to worry less and patiently wait and discover your child's personality. Watching all of our children develop is like Christmas everyday. We never know what they will say and do. Our plans change all the time.
I wish you all the best. There are no hard feelings from me.
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My oldest daughter has a yeast infection (I think). I wasn't sure if you could get infections prior to starting your monthly cycle (sorry, I guess I'm a bit ignorant in this area). She's non-verbal with limited comprehension so I'm basing my thoughts on symptoms - discharge (which looks exactly like yeast infection), lots of grabbing behaviors between her legs, wetting the bed several times at night, wetting herself during the day, pain when urinating.
The typical treatment is an absolute no-go. To repeat - this isn't an option. I am able to rub cream around that area and clean the area when needed, but she is combative if I (or her doctor) go any further.
Additionally, we are in the middle of an insurance change and I'm trying to avoid all doctor appointments. I can't call a doctor for a prescription to be called in because they would want to see her (because it's her first yeast infection).
She just finished an antibiotic treatment for a urinary tract infection.
Are there any over the counter or home remedies that I can try? If she's not markedly better by tomorrow, I'll call a doctor, but I'd really like to avoid it if possible. Currently, we are doing baking soda baths, ibuprofen, ativan (she becomes very anxious when something is 'off' with her body) and probiotics.
I'm so annoyed - party planning and in a bad mood
in The Chat Board
Posted
My mother retired from her job (guidance counselor at a middle school) recently. The school threw her a huge retirement party - lots of food, enormous cake, very generous gifts, close to fifty people in attendance. The guidance counselors in the district threw a smaller, but no less fun, party - margaritas and dinner out. She has a small camper in another part of the state where she visits old friends - they threw a cook out for her. My brother, sister and I attended the school party.
My mother asked me if I was planning on throwing a retirement party for her a couple of weeks before her other parties. I honestly told her that we hadn't planned to do so but had planned on coming to her school party. My mother then called my other siblings, asking the same thing. For several days she commented that she knew how busy we were....but.....even just a cook out would be nice. My sister called asking if we could hold the cook-out at my house (she lives four hours away and my brother's house is a mess) and I agreed. My mother was delighted. Then, mother started asking if we would invite other people, such as a couple of neighbors. I agreed to a couple of neighbors. Mother then started asking about relatives and I told her that I really couldn't. I simply don't have the time.
She offered to help.
I suggested that she teach my daughters how to host a party, such as sending out invitations, maintaining an RSVP list, planning food and making decorations. She loved the idea and I agreed to a bigger list. Then my sister called and asked me if I was aware that mother was complaining to everyone in our family that she was having to plan her own retirement party. So, I told mother not to worry about planning it, but I truly haven't the time (and honestly money, my husband has been out of work since January and we live on our savings). I won't bore you with my list of things I'm doing, but I'm stressed emotionally, physically and mentally. I feel like people use me and have no respect for my time. (Yes, I'm on medication for anxiety, but lately it's not helping). Planning a party is almost impossible for me to imagine (not because I don't know how, but because I am so stretched at the moment).
So, I'm now a big resentful mess. I would cancel the party except other people have been told about it and they have already planned to attend. (I'm expecting about forty people). My sister lives too far away to help and my brother won't commit to anything about it, not even to the point of telling me if the date was okay. My mother has suggested that I postpone the party until Thanksgiving and then have a huge event (which I think is even tackier than what we're now doing).
I still plan to teach my daughters how to plan an event, but my budget is very tight. My sister has promised a set amount (my brother won't commit to any amount) and she will arrive the day before the event (my brother hasn't committed to attending), she is bringing pictures of my mother for decorations. The rest is up to us.
First question - am I obligated to list my brother as a host for the party? I have repeatedly asked him and my SIL if they can help pay for it (and it's okay if they can't, they have less money than I do), can they attend, can they help decorate, etc. They have no response or say they don't know yet. I have less than 30 days until the party, so it's time for invites to go out. I was going to list my two daughters who are planning it and my sister. Should I list him simply because he's my brother and we're supposedly all doing this for my mother?
Second question - mother has sent me a guest list and there are a few who live out of state. Am I obligated to find lodging if they decide to attend? (I can't imagine that they would, but there are no hotels in our tiny town).
Third question - any cheap suggestions for food or decorations? The theme is a garden party and I plan to hold it outdoors. It will be in the morning, but close enough to noon that we should probably serve lunch. Total, I don't want to spend over $200. That needs to include everything.