lovemyboys
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Posts posted by lovemyboys
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Came across a great quote this morning. Hope you all find it motivating as well.
"In my view, organizing your home is about making room in your life (and your space) for that which is important to you now, not what used to be important to you or what might become important to you." (Vicki Norris, Restoring Order to Your Home)
Love the quote. It's a good reminder.
I've been organizing the school room, tossing old school papers, found some books and flashcards to give away, put away holiday decorations, organizing craft supplies, tossing old newspapers, catalogs and magazines. Doesn't sound like much but it feels good! And it's making a dent.
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Where did you hear that? My husband doesn't believe you, LOL. I don't see anything on ESPN about it yet.....that would stink.
If this one's for me, dh told me there are about 10 channels on fios.
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It means that for the past ten years we've had occupying forces in several Muslim countries. We hardly ever seem to occupy European or Asian countries that can actually take us. You think the Muslims haven't noticed and the radical fringe within them haven't taken advantage of it?
:confused: And in the '90s the US was key in helping the Bosnian Muslims to survive the ethnic cleansing and massacres occurring in that area of Europe. And in bringing their murderers to justice on the world stage.
But radical Muslim extremists under the leadership of the extraordinarily wealthy, intelligent and educated bin Laden, chose to target the US in a very disciplined attack that they'd been planning and training for throughout the '90s, culminating in the 9/11 attacks.
So, from that perspective, it doesn't seem that our good efforts on behalf of Muslims in one part of the world made a whit of difference to another group, bent on harming the US.
We wouldn't even be in Iraq or Afghanistan were it not for the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. For that matter, look what the people in Iran are doing with no acknowledgment from our government. We may be the excuse rather than the cause. Some things are happening regardless or in spite of the US.
:grouphug: Heather :grouphug: Be wise, be safe. Prayers for you.
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I'd wonder if the birthday boy has some grudge against your boys.
Above all, I'd look unflapped. I watch that family closely for other unpleasantness, but I'd put a calm face to the world. Living well is the best revenge.
Yes. My comments were based on no conflicts going on.
One ds here had a problem with the son of a wonderful family. He felt the boy always managed to get him in trouble. I could see his point somewhat, of course it wasn't 100% on the other child, but it was his perception of what was going on.
Perhaps there was a small issue or moment that went on between the boys that brought this up.
Still weird to have to go through. Hope the kids are still unaware. Kalanamak's right, hold your head high, keep a close watch, address something if you need to later (days).
Above all, trust your instincts. I let my situation go too long and it hurt my friend a bit. If you do feel like you need to deal with it, go straight to the other mom. Or if you think you just need a little insight, ask one of the mom's to shed some light (without getting all tangled up in it). Good luck.
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Our Dutch friends say that most of their country believes that Americans are like "people in Washington, DC, or Los Angeles."
We had a friend visit from overseas when we lived in an out-of-the-way place. Dfriend was a tad surprised not to see homeless people sleeping in the doorways and park benches....:001_huh:....that's what they see on the news. That and action/adventure movies. Great.
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So I'm sitting here in front of a fire watching my kids skate and watching, further down the lake as my friends and my kids' friends celebrate a birthday.
One of the dads just wandered over to warm himself by the fire.
This is just weird. I'm glad my boys don't know what's going on.
You're right. That's just odd. I'd keep it that way that the boys don't know.
Do you think the dad was making an unspoken conciliatory gesture? When you're all so close by and they know it would be around you....
But I'd let it go. Maybe someone will say something one day and give you clarity. If you're otherwise free of conflict with this group, I'd give them grace to see if you can keep it that way.
:grouphug:
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Ditto on the advice to TRY to talk to someone- even if you're the only one going. Many large churches have counseling ministries that charge on a sliding scale. Focus on the Family is a great place to call for references for Christian counselors - BTDT. I will be praying that you will be encouraged and that hope can be restored.
Second the advice to find Christian counselors.
A dear friend of mine and her dh went to a couple of counselors, but the Christian counselor was the one that saved their marriage by helping them to face the problems honestly, work on the issues, work on forgiveness, and heal -- all from the perspective of keeping the marriage together.
The first couple counselors they tried were more from the view of healing the individual than maintaining the family. Of course, not every marriage can be saved, but you'd rather be working with someone who hopes for that for you, I would imagine.
:grouphug:
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:iagree: with all you've written, especially what's highlighted.
My dd and I both *hate* abridgements and adaptations. Hate them. Just this week dd has been re-reading the Little House series and told me she regrets reading other Little House books that were not written by Laura Ingalls Wilder as they are really not very good.
I didn't know these existed. Dh and dc read through these for a couple years as their bedtime reading together with dh encouraging them to read first a sentence or two, progressing to alternating pages and chapters in the final LIW books.
My bugaboo with abridged versions is that it "steals" the beautiful writing and plot from wonderful books when dc read them in early elem. years rather than waiting to digest the actual book when able to in middle/high school years. kwim?
eta: I should add that I have used books like Abbey mentions for mythology, Shakespeare, etc. that give dc some familiarity and comfort with works that might otherwise be quite daunting later.
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We switched providers last week.
Dh just announced this afternoon that we have a half-dozen basketball channels. Whoopee. :001_huh:
Guess we're movin' on to the next sport.
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Apparently, me, my dh and our other moderate and liberal military members and their wife friends are figments of my imagination. I really thought calling my views "outside the mainstream" is beyond the pale. How does not sharing the opinion of the vast majority of the 50% (you said around fifty percent, right) who think gays should not be allowed to serve in the military make me outside of the mainstream?
While this board is a pretty even mix of liberal and conservative, at least the ones that post a lot, the general military population is more conservative as a group. They vote that way too.
I think what someone (Jumped in the Deep End First?) is trying to say is that when you speak with authority from a military perspective, which you often do, it reflects your liberal views as representative of those of the larger military/dependent community. And that would not be accurate. Yes, you do have every right to speak out as a military dependent and to bring those anecdotal events into the conversation here. But, as you've said, the military is not a monolithic community -- and as you've no doubt seen IRL, liberal views tend to be in the minority in the general military/dependent population.
I, for one, have been amazed over the years just how conservative many of our younger military members and spouses truly are. Perhaps they are reluctant to share this with you knowing what your views are ... here and IRL.
:)
For OP, this has veered way off your original post, but it has raised a variety of perspectives. :001_smile:
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I bring up his service, in this case, because it's relevant. I bring it up at other times because there are too many on this board who say "IF you were PATRIOTIC you would believe the way I do..." or other such tripe.
You're all too quick to dismiss the opinions of military wives and prior-service females here. It really smacks of patting us good little girls on the head and telling us you know better.
Actually, Mrs. Mungo, I have to disagree here. I'm not hearing that in his posts. It's good to have a male perspective and one associated with the military here. It sounds like you have spirited dinner table discussions with your dh and his peers. And you bring that perspective here.
However, it's not the only military perspective nor the definitive one.
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So, how many Americans say they ((love)) Pakistanis? Iraqis? Iranians, Venezuelans, I could go on & on... I'm sure there are just as many folks from the US who dislike or say they dislike "groups" of people, given their country of origin, but then find individuals from these countries to be copacetic.
When in a group, people are faceless, but one on one, that's a whole other matter.
Good point.
Another thing that makes the US so different from many other countries is that the US is a melting pot due to its origins. It is a mixture of many different cultures and nationalities that work together to make this system work. Most other countries have their original population and culture that dominate in the political, social and business of that society. Here it's pretty much open. And most of those looking for opportunities know it.
That's the mirror that other people see and we often miss.
It's in vogue to "dis" the US, in some countries it has been for a long time. Doesn't mean we have to fall for it. Or let it determine our foreign policy.
Who's on the ground within hours, no matter when, no matter which country, if a natural disaster strikes?
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I think perhaps you should read my last post.
Ah. I haven't been around here much lately.
That's despicable. It's one of the ugly undersides of many institutions where women have made inroads into male-dominated environments, like union worksites.
Like I said in one of my posts, it's similar to the issues with drugs that had to be addressed decades ago.
And fortunately, unlike in those other environments, the military has had women in leadership (up to top ranks for over 40 years now) to be involved in directing these issues and policies.
At the same time, war and being on the battlefront can be tough ugly places to be. Many women are not interested in that particular aspect of the military. The recent changes that have brought women to these designations bring additional issues of close quarters, limited facilities, stress. It's inevitable that unforeseen issues and consequences will result. As we've been saying it's complex.
Your response didn't address what I'd said, but your original post "buzzing" mine sounded like you were assuming that there were only a couple people here who could speak with any reference to the military, homosexuals and/or harassment issues. It sounded dismissive like I'd just been buzzed off the game show. jftr. :001_smile:
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What? Inside joke?<buzzer>
This is something that has always gotten under my skin. I find it to be incredibly vain on the part of ANYONE, gay or straight to assume that another person automatically is attracted to them because of their gender.
I mean, what an incredible ego one must have to assume that simply because a man is a homosexual, he is going to fall all over himself for your husband? Or that a woman will? And frankly, if one's spouse can't control themselves in a work environment around members of the opposite sex, then perhaps they either need some serious counseling, or they need to stay home.
Sounds like you've been fortunate not to have received unwanted attention from either sex in your life, regardless of which you're attracted to.
Not everyone is. And when you're young and pretty naive, as I was, it is really uncomfortable to deal with -- again, regardless of which sex is involved.
Does it involve everyone I run into? Of course not. Have I showered in open bays with other women? Sure. Did that ever cause problems? No.
But, when and if someone of the same sex is interested in you, it does alter the situation that prior to that had just been a "collegial" sort of situation.
And, frankly, I think it's pretty naive for anyone to dismiss the issue out-of-hand, because it doesn't fit into a neat worldview.
Many of the folks serving in the military are in their peak sexual years (late teens-late twenties), they're in top physical condition, far from home, life alternating between boredom and extremely stressful situations. Sex is a natural outlet and fun activity to boot. But the complications that result are myriad.
Second, the pregnancy policy that was in the press was not introduced by the US Secretary of Defense, it was introduced by Major General Anthony Cucolo, who is currently commanding the Third Infantry Division in Iraq. He was legally allowed to do it, and he was being kind. Under AR 600-20, a soldier can get put out of the Army for not having a family care plan in place - and being pregnant in a war zone is pretty much as *anti* having a family care plan in place as you can get.
You are right. That's what I get for not checking that when SecDef didn't sound right, typing too late.
Not only can one be "put out" as you say, but also some have used the pregnancy option as a device to "opt out" of an unwanted duty station. Overall, it just makes a mess. Kind of like the military had to address the issue of drug use eons ago; with so many mixed units and the don't-ask-don't-tell policy, they have to address the issue of sexuality these days.
But as often happens here, this original post has ranged far and wide.
Ime, Americans aren't hated overseas. But I am skeptical of trying too hard to get everyone to like us too.
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I also studied in Spain during Clinton years and found that we were very unliked. We were pushed off sidewalks, punched, called names, and thought of as very easy. I'm not sure why because I have also watched Spanish films and found a whole lot of sex and nudity. It is possible that their characters aren't as stupid as some of ours.
I was told we were unliked because we were all rich, and because we didn't give Spain money after WWII and now they were behind. I did hear something about energy costs also and how it is so expensive there and we use too much.
I lived in Central Spain but visited Southern Spain and found that the people in the south were so different. They loved us but I'm sure it was because we were spending money. Actually though, they seem to have an entirely different outlook on life than those in Central Spain.
Isn't that an interesting dichotomy -- we are at once puritanical and slutty. :001_huh:
Actually they'd probably just call us repressed and too stupid to figure it out.
Yes, the people around the Med. are a lot more open and fun-loving in general than the progressive urbanites, ime. But that's true in many countries.
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The same exact argument was made against integrating the armed forces.
Human rights can't be denied because bigots are "in a majority." If a soldier can't protect and defend the Constitution they have not business being in the military.
Bill
Actually, IIRC, we have Wilson to thank for this -- segregating what had been a somewhat integrated military 100 years ago. Segregating many areas of government and industry that was naturally integregating. :glare:
*Generally* there are no more open shower rooms where everyone showers together. ...... Just adding this because I'm not sure what people are imagining.As you say, "generally," because the equalizing portions of military life like boot camp and more rugged areas have shower/bathroom situations that are open. It's just the way it is. Some of that is by design.
When the situation becomes "sexualized" it changes the dynamic. Yes, there are homosexuals in the military. I know a few. But you can't deny that it changes the "atmosphere" of close living arrangements if there is someone who may be sexually aware of you, even if you're not gay. Trust me, I've had this experience.
There's a reason that Sec. of Defense recently came out with a policy to deter fraternization resulting in pregnancy. Putting women and men together "sexualizes" the environment. It just can't be helped. But the Sec. of Defense is right -- many of these women are key in their units with the skills and jobs they have, losing them to pregnancy is a waste, poor management and bad for morale. It's a tough issue, and tougher if people deny the complexity.
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I think it is more complex.
........
Americans were considered wealthy and were targets for break-ins and robbery, but it wasn't personal, if that makes any sense.
........
But, if you traveled in the opposite direction of the crowds, you would find much more congeniality, especially if you were respectful and attempted to use the local language.
Both of your comments here are brilliant. They go to the heart of much of how people are perceived and received in other countries.
From an impersonal, macro perspective, the US is this huge monolithic world power. And they make assumptions about that.
Once people get to know individuals, they see that Americans in general are open, friendly and generous. And if individual Americans go to the trouble of informing themselves wrt other countries and languages, it's truly invaluable.
For me, it always goes back to the fact that so many people from all countries work so hard to come here to work and live. It's been said that the US "is the envy of the world." Well that can have a downside too.
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Yet, it seems that Americans have (in the opinion of citizens of other countries) a greater duty to the rest of the world than we do to our own internal affairs. I would argue that each country is responsible to itself for whom it elects.
This probably reflects the foreign aid, security assistance and emergency aid the US supplies when any country sends out a call. That doesn't even count the charitable aid that American citizens provide via private agencies. There's an attention to what we're up to, what's going on. Foreign citizens have an interest, you might say a vested interest, in our country doing well --if only in relation to their particular interest/country.
The downside of course is that everyone's got an opinion and the US is so visible and powerful that it does effect people. What I found interesting recently is that our State Dept. has a number of diversity visas open to all countries -- even Somalia, Cuba, Yemen. Despite what their government's stance is wrt the US.
Another thing is that our political process is so well known, well covered and generally open (except for recently :tongue_smilie:). It's fairly easy for people in other countries to keep up with our news.
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This guy clearly has some misconceptions about unschooling. Unschooling is not the same as avoiding formal instruction. Many unschooled students use curriculum material, and some - although usually older ones - take classes in subjects of interest. A 'normal' unschooling parent - if there is such a thing - would offer math lessons if the child has indicated her interest / readiness for it. You facilitate the child's pursuing of her own interests, and you strew so that she does not miss out on potential things of interest due to never coming across them.
If he makes negative comments about what you're doing, I'd simply say "This method is working well for Erika" and change the subject. It's probably not worth discussing in detail with somebody who thinks he knows more than you do about what's helpful for your child, whatever his educational philosophy.
Actually, I think the biggest factor here is that the man's daughter is only 4. So her little life is all about her interests at this age. It might very well be a different conversation several years from now.
:iagree: Otherwise, this what I've found to be true too. The unschoolers I'm familiar with fall in the spectrum of very relaxed to very busy with classes, explorations, curriculum. A couple have very intense math whizzes and those families definitely do a lot of math -- somewhat formal, very advanced work because that's what their dc love and are skilled with.
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just the thought of previewing it makes me shudder. I am thinking of the series and I am thinking in terms of adult intimate moments.
We're watching these now with dc those ages.
I watched Star Trek reruns on tv when I was in grade school.
When I saw a couple episodes as an adult, I was surprised. As I kid, I didn't connect the dots ... Kirk was kissing a girl, it went to commercial, it came back and he was pulling on his boots ....
:001_huh:
:lol:
They're very tame by comparison to what's available today. I remember cringing at a couple of the fight scenes where he got hit with something, but that's in comparison to Lassie. They're even a bit cheesy because some of the props/staging are pretty lame, but the stories were interesting and give some history reference too!
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My mother has made me promise that when she dies that I will burn her journals. No problem with me. I don't want to read them. That's very private stuff and I don't really want to know her THAT well. :) Personally, that's why I just couldn't keep them. If it's therapeutic then I would likely throw them away as I filled them. Since, yes, school yearbooks make me cringe, I definitely wouldn't want old journal stuff. Too weird to read myself sounding so dumb. LOL :)
My sister got such a kick reading my dad's college yearbooks with all the nicknames and memories.
My brother otoh may not want to have anyone perusing his....
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I did destroy the one little red locked diary from high school when I was in my mid-20s. I read through it and found nothing of value.
The journals that I've kept as an adult do have blush-worthy moments, but they chronicle my life. Every once in a long while I'll flip through them, I figure I'll reread them when I'm in my 70s for a laugh and maybe a little insight. Now that dc are getting older maybe I should look at them again. I've saved dh's love letters too. hmmm.
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I went through my linen closet and bagged up some old children's sheets. My boys haven't used these sheets in years. It is always hard for me to get rid of my children's things because I am so sentimental.
Ain't that the truth!
Dsis kids me that I save every scribble they ever made. Well, kind of....
:tongue_smilie:
Now that they're older, I do ask and they'll often times tell me not to keep things. Baby steps.
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I am completely ready for school. The schoolroom area is tidy and organized, everything necessary is prepped and printed, and we even revised our schedule specifically for this week, since most of dd's outside activities won't restart for another week or two.
Just... please don't ask me about the rest of the house. Especially not my desk. :lol:
Ack. :willy_nilly:
life is good
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
Dh and dc were rooting for your Cowboys to win today.
And now they're done.
They wanted the Eagles to lose (mostly because of Vick) and they wanted the Jets to be positioned to move on. Sorry, Cowboys have gone as far as they need to, it's all about the Jets here. :lol: