I've actually been asked NOT to participate/observe the VT, because our therapist believes that parental observation makes the child feel they must perform better. Probably that is the case for my DD, but I'd sure love to be a fly on the wall!

Hey, somebody rep Pam for me! I'm trying, but the powers that be won't let me do it! :D

That's good to hear, Carol, I'm glad you feel that way. I'm also glad to hear you don't feel bullied for your secular point of view. That's the way it should be. Thanks for explaining.

:iagree: I agree, Pam. That was very well put and sort of what I've been trying to get at but couldn't put into words. Too tired today, I guess. Thanks for posting it so well!

Carol, I personally don't understand why this appears to be such a huge issue for you. I've seen many posts by "those pagans, wiccans, or whomever" that were handled with respect by all. I've seen them genuinely ask for help and had it genuinely offered. I've felt disagreement with my own point of view, but never felt bullied. I truly don't understand why you would feel the need for separate boards so strongly...help me here. I read many posts by those of different faiths or no faith and it isn't offensive to me. I've never seen anyone "bullied," maybe confronted on rude behavior, but that's gone both ways IMO. I've seen plenty of disagreement with the Christian perspective as well...disagreement isn't wrong and it isn't bullying, it's just disagreement. I don't see the need to divide up the community over different beliefs or perspectives...really, I just don't see it. Help me understand. Is Christianity itself or the frequency of Christian posts here offensive to you? I'm asking because I really am curious, not to be confrontational in any way. No matter what, it seems to me that most here want to be inclusive for the best of reasons, not to force less mainstream faiths or lack thereof out of the picture. I would hope that Christians are never made to feel that they should post less about their faith, just as I'd never want to see that for those of other faiths. Our differences have produced a strong, healthy, interesting community, IMO.

I'm so sorry, Sandra. You are in my thoughts and prayers. :grouphug:

I also don't like the idea of having separate boards...I enjoy listening to the variety of opinions here! We're a community and I hope we stay that way. If you personally don't like reading someone's opinion, just use the ignore feature! I suppose that's what it's there for. I'm personally a Christian and have no problem posting about Christian topics...frankly, I just figure that if it isn't someone's cuppa, they'll just move on. That's what I do. I wouldn't ask someone not to post secular/Wiccan/Buddhist/whatever just because I don't believe that way, so I hope no one would do that to me. If I post "Christian," I'm probably aiming at getting a Christian response (though I wouldn't mind others) and I assume that's what others are doing when they post secular content or something regarding another faith. I'll read it if I'm curious or have something to offer, won't if I don't. (I can recall times I've directed folks to secular resources I know about...that just seems kind and in keeping with my own faith.) It's rare that I don't read a post simply because it discusses non-Christian content (usually I find those an interesting intellectual exercise!), but I will move on if I find the presentation offensive. I can't imagine skipping a post/ignoring a person for any other reason. I like the variety here! I think it makes things much richer to have a variety of viewpoints on a given subject, and I enjoy the differences herein for that reason! I'd hope that all can remember, however, that we do have something pretty major in common...home schooling, and a love for our kids. However we are doing it, THAT is what makes us a community and I hope we can stay that way. The last thing we need is more division in the home schooling community, IMHO.

:iagree: Sounds just like me! Sure would be easier if I could just trust God and not do the sense of impending doom side of it because He always works things out for our good. Good for you, Aubrey, for being excited! I'm with you...I'll bet something exciting is coming!

:lurk5: Thanks, I desperately needed this information as well! Been fighting all week to get my four kids to take their vitamins...we use a USANA brand and they hate them. Going now to get Animal Parade from Vitacost, since I already shop there!

I agree with about 98% of what he had to say. I don't think you can generalize to all people, but as far as early marriage being a good thing...I think it can be for most folks! I think that his point about extending adolescence too far is an excellent one. Also, I tend to agree with the idea that there is no reason to completely cut off a child just because they are married. Why not do everything you can to help them be successful? I'm not talking hand-holding here, but real help like not cutting off college tuition just because they married. I'm all for encouraging maturity, financial independence, etc., but coming from a very close Italian family (and marrying into a less interdependent family), I have to say that I think our way is better! ;) Especially when I was younger, there was no reason to believe I couldn't fall back on my parents for support (financial or emotional) should I have needed it. Frankly, that just encouraged me to do more to be independent as I wanted to be "worthy" of any help I received. I stayed at home until I had raised enough money to pay for my own grad school (age 23, I think), then told Dad, "thanks, I got it now!" to most things. Interesting speaker. Very poor interviewer...was he even listening to the guy? Maybe he got confused by the guy's speed-talking!

I'm with Karen. I don't know that I'd fault you for using what the company left there to be used, but I'd at least make another attempt to contact them and have it turned off. If you can't get them to turn it off (here, they'd never come out a second time!), then at least you can tell the kidlets that you did your best to be honest.

Thanks, Jennifer. Some of those things might be a possibility, but we have a small church in a small town. I know they'd all want to help, but might not be able to. I cannot see any way that the tree removal could be free. It will require professionals and a crane to remove, as it is nearly 4 stories high and the base of the trunk is between 8-10 ft across per the tree company. And, I don't know anyone who could repair the roof for free...maybe a discount, but not free. The jobs are too big and expensive to impose. I'm sure God will help us work it out. He's never abandoned us in the past, even with much worse situations! I do hope, however, that DH and I will make it through tonight without another fight. That one, I'm not so sure about. :crying:

Robin, I'm going to wait to pass final judgement on the adjuster until after his actual quotes come in. Right now, I am going only on what he had to say this morning when he came out...and, nice guy though he was, he was very discouraging as to what would be covered. However, in his defense (partially, though I don't feel like defending him!), he didn't even go up on the roof so possibly couldn't see the extent of the damage. The roof is too steep and too damaged to climb, so we gave him all the pics that the tree guys took and sent him home to look them over. Maybe he'll be more sympathetic when he takes a look! I will fight him to the death over that blasted tree, though. If it were to fall, it would take out my neighbor's master bedroom, where she is currently housing her newborn baby boy! Please keep on praying, ladies. I can use it now more than ever. DH finally broke under the stress and we had a big ole fight. It was just awful....we never, ever fight. I did my best to calm everything down but eventually couldn't stop crying. He was really upset about that, so I left the house...leaving him with all the kiddos. I'm currently hiding out across town, wondering when I should head back home. This is SO not like us.

Thanks, ladies, for your prayers and encouragement!

OK, DS 5 just gave me one: Please, PLEASE do come running all the way from the kitchen to the computer room yelling "Mom!" and then when you get here, let a world class burp fly into my face. I really do love the smell of your lunch (the one you said you hated!), really I do! :glare:

:lol::smilielol5::rofl: You have GOT to be living in my house...where are you hiding? I'm laughing so hard I can't think of any of my own...:D

Sounds like your younger DD has found the best button to push with you, and it's a powerful one! ;) Those "you love so and so more than me, you always punish me more than so and so" etc. comments arrow straight to a Momma's heart...and that's why they are so often used! My DD is an expert at using them at just the right moment. My advice would be to sit DD down at a good moment and have a talk with her about her comments. Explain that you'd honestly like to know why she feels this way and how you can help. Listen, do what you can, explain why you don't actually love so and so more than her, etc. Once done, also explain to her that when she uses those comments in anger, it seems to you that she is only manipulating her way out of punishment, trying to get her way, etc. Explain that the time to discuss these things is NOT during an argument or when she is not getting her way, because it just looks like she's being difficult. Give her examples of good times to talk and, should she pull this again, remind her that you will discuss it only when she is not trying to manipulate you. Maybe this will work for you, maybe not, but it does work for my DD. I've discovered over time that she doesn't really feel this way but just wants to get my goat! If she really did feel that way, I might handle it differently, but it's pure manipulation here!

Some may have seen my thread a couple of days ago about a 150 year old oak tree falling on my house...trunk alone was over 8,000 lbs! Well, the tree is off the house and we now have a 10 ft hole in the roof, plus holes in the ridge vent, shingles damaged all over the roof and some busted beams. We have interior water damage...falling plaster, busted windows, broken/warped trim and a smelly carpet. We also now have 1/2 of a tree still standing, but standing in such a one-sided, top heavy way that it will likely fall on our neighbor's house in the next storm. Keeping in mind that the tree is nearly 4 stories tall, we have a real problem here! I could really use some prayer because today when the insurance agent came out, he gave us some bad news. Apparently, they will only fix the most "damaged" part of the roof rather than replace the whole thing (though we have pockets of damage everywhere), they won't replace the carpet because it isn't wet or smelly enough, they won't take down the rest of the tree because they are only responsible for trees actually on the ground (despite the liability and assurances from the tree guy that it is an extreme hazard), AND we've called 5 roofing companies and NONE have shown up. We can't afford to take down the tree (minimum $3,000) and replace the rest of the roof ourselves. (Who knows how much that could be, but it has to be done...tree was so large it actually came all the way over into the front yard when it fell from the back!) Not only do we not have that kind of money sitting around, we are already going into debt to pay for medical care for two of our special needs kiddos...insurance denied on them both, of course. Right now, we are at least $20,000 out of pocket for this year alone on them, mainly on credit cards and a CareCredit acct. Anyway, I'm stressed, DH is stressed, we are trying to keep our chins up and trust God. Things just look bleak right now. We have been trying so hard to save money...even moved cross country to do so...but we are further in the hole now than ever. I know God has a plan and has our good in mind (for example, said tree did not hit our three boys, who were standing 10 ft from it when it fell! :eek:), but I'm struggling with the financial pressure. Please pray that we get the coverage we need and that God will show me what He's up to eventually! Or, at the very least, that I can get some much needed sleep sometime this week! Thanks,

We have four kids, all of whom have minor special needs. They are generally fine in isolation, but a real whollop as a crew! Originally, we had named my sister and her DH, who share our basic faith though it isn't necessarily as high on their priority list as it is on ours. Over time, however, it became obvious that they would be unable to handle our children due to some problems showing up in their own family. Just not fair to ask them...I think they would implode if they added our four to their two! A more permissive style of parenting as well...just no longer a good option. There was no one else. So we did as Aubrey recommends and prayed, prayed, prayed! Low and behold, my confirmed bachelor BIL found a great gal and settled down! And, even better, we ended up moving across the country to his town and were only 5 minutes from him. We waited a year to make sure they had a chance to settle in, then sprung it on them. They said yes, even after new SIL had a chance to really see what was up with our kids. If I had any recommendations for you, first it would be to name the best of the worst options now. Better than having no one named at all...what a mess that could be! Then, pray unceasingly. I'm betting you'll be surprised at what God will provide...it may be something you never saw coming!

Yes, since RAD is most well known in cases of international adoption from orphanages, etc. There are certain other ways it occurs, but I'd venture a guess it is higher in the population of adopted kiddos due to the fact that many were adopted from neglectful/abusive situations. And, no, I can't imagine the suffering of the child in the blanket. That's why I can't support it, no matter what the end result is supposed to be. Yes, dear Kelli, you do need to refuel your heart after all this! Go read Isaiah 1:18 and Psalm 23 after you are done with those hugs and kisses, and remember how much God loves you. He gave His own life to redeem you, and sees you as white as snow no matter what you "think" you've done wrong. I hope you can hold that promise true and have a healed heart tonight!

That misguided treatment is sometimes used in cases of Reactive Attachment Disorder. The basic idea is to start over, from birth, to give the child a chance to "reattach" to the caregiver. Nice in theory (the "starting over" bit), horrible in practice, IMO. I see what they are trying to do, but smothering a child in a blanket just ain't the way to do it! :glare:

Why, I have no idea but I can help with what to do about it! Either go to your dentist and have them make a mouthguard for use overnight, or go get the cheaper version at Walgreens and save some dough. Makes a world of difference! It will protect your teeth, reduce jaw pain and headaches, and you and DH will sleep better.

Another sign of a good mom, that one! Stick to your guns, Momma, and don't let that evil eye get you down! All strong parents get that every once in a while...for me, I take it as confirmation that I am doing my job! :grouphug:

Nope, sure haven't! I'd be interested to hear/see some of those and see how they compare to the books. The books worked for me, but like I said, I can see how the information might be construed as abusive. Perhaps the potentially "white-washed" version I read doesn't go as far as what you've heard! And, please Kelli, if you are reading this, please do NOT in any way construe my comments about the Ezzos working for me as a comment on what you've said! We cross-posted...I'm not commenting on your deal at all. What I read when I read your post is a story about a lot of women who should have minded their own business and left a good momma to mother her own children her own way! I'm sorry you went through that. I'd also have to add that I was not a breastfeeding momma (hard to do that when you adopt! ;)), so for me it was just about structure and routine, not milk production. A much easier deal, I'd have to say. Again, you have my prayers and please don't blame yourself for the stupidity of others. I believe from your posts that you are an awesome mom, and I've actually tried to emulate you in some areas but just haven't told you! Specifically, I keep on thinking about your long ago comment about telling your kiddos in the morning, "let's go learn you something!" I've been doing that with my kiddos, and it makes school a lot more fun.

Oops, my first double post! So sorry...