lmkzbcb
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Posts posted by lmkzbcb
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I attended integrated civilian schools since 7th grade. The geographical location did not matter -- Montgomery, Atlanta, Louisville, or Boston -- the races self-segregated.
When I was in junior and senior high school, the white people sat on one side of the room, the blacks on the other. I attended a civilian junior high in Montgomery the year the public schools were integrated. Often, there were 1-3 rows between the groups that were unoccupied, except for me. I was shocked about this, and that was the only solution at hand. I had attended integrated schools on Air Force bases during K-6 and self-segregation did not occur.
When I attended a university, all races self-segregated, except for me. I just sat at cafeteria tables with people of other races, and I met lots of great people that way. I remember the Korean students were particularly surprised when I did that, and very welcoming. If I hadn't met them, I would have never tried asparagus, which is one of my favorite vegetables, nor would I have thought of serving vegetables at breakfast (asparagus and sliced tomatoes).
When I taught at a local college, most of my students were black. I had the reputation of being the toughest, most feared, teacher in the school and being the most popular according to student evaluations. I was defended in the hallways heartily by my students when their same-race friends would ask them why they were greeting or talking to that white lady. Meanwhile, there were several white students who tried every trick in the book to get me in trouble (it didn't work) because they were mad that I didn't treat the black students differently from them. The white students, by the way, were from New Jersey, not the South.
When I attended law school in Boston, the students self-segregated everywhere except in the class rooms. The percentage of black students was small. I walked into my first contracts class, looked at the 100 students there, and spotted a black lady. I sat next to her because, believe it or not, she was the first black person I'd seen since I had moved to Boston six months earlier, which was a Stranger in a Strange Land experience for me. We became very good friends. Her black friends gave her a very hard time during those three years, because she was friends with me, and I am white. Not only did she tell me this, but I overheard them make nasty comments about the situation several times. She was on the receiving end of pervasive, subtle racism every day. I witnessed it many times.
Meanwhile, since I had a Southern accent, many white students assumed that I was racist. They would confide their racist views, and I would set them straight. They also thought I was stupid because of my accent, until they got to know me. It was a strange situation to be in.
Back to the topic at hand, when I lived in Atlanta in the 1980s and worked in a professional setting, educated blacks prized the darkest among them. The lighter skinned blacks had too much white blood in them. I guess that has changed now, at least in some places. I don't keep up with changes in how the different people view shade variations in their own races. All I know is that for 15 years, getting a tan was my #1 New Year's resolution, and I never achieved that goal. I would like to be the color of coffee with cream in it -- is that too much to ask? Apparently so.
I am glad I am white, and have thought that since I was a kid, because it is a distinct advantage to be so. No one assumes that my achievements are due to charity (affirmative action) instead of merit. No one has ever followed me around in a store to make sure I don't shoplift. No one has ever done any of the daily, pervasive, racist behaviors to me that I have witnessed my friends go through. Racism is not politically correct, but it is alive and well on all sides of the aisle, IMO.
I grew up in the South too. Only when I was in public high school many years after you had gone through it; no one self segregated. I had friends from all spectrums of skin color. There was no separation in classrooms, lunchrooms, sports, or anywhere.
Shortly after I graduated, some people from Chicago flew into the area and started picketing the high school as being racist. They gained National media attention for weeks. Not one person I knew who had lived there all their lives knew who these people were. Slowly but surely anyone who could leave the school and go to private school did. Many moved out of town and went to the county school. The city's population now is nearly cut in half from what it was prior. Over the course of many years, the entire school has become segregated. Those who had organized the picketing (taking credit for it) have now become the leaders in the city government and state house representatives, been quoted as saying they organized the school picketing because they "wanted a school strictly for blacks". In addition they sponsor a local radio program that blatantly advocates "white hatred", as in, the radio talk show host suggested "take matters into our own hands and make sure our white neighbors pay for the sins committed against us." I kid you not, these are exact words.
Every time I go back to that town, it just breaks my heart. It was a lovely place to grow up. Now it is full of hatred.
To make matters worse, they are starting to have very serious problems with gangs. I dont think that is related, it could just be along with the rest of the nation, that gangs have increased over all. But it makes it that much more difficult to return to it.
Why did I tell all of this? I can't remember my initial point now,but since I have taken the time to write it all out, I'll post and maybe I can remember my point later. Must be mommy brain.
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Bumping, too funny for others not to enjoy on this special day.
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I've been thinking about this some more, and am going to have to modify my earlier answer.
1 - my situation is a little diff, b/c we don't have any contact nor have we ever had any contact with my half-brother. We dont even know if his parents ever told him he was adopted.
2 - Although it would be crossing the parental rights of her bio-dad to tell her siblings. It is in your full right to confront him and his wife about what they have done.
I think if it were me, I would talk to his wife first. You have every right to protect your daughter. What they have done is unacceptable, especially from the pov of being her mother. Maybe she would be sympathetic. If not, I would ask her how she plans to handle this, since at some point a.- her kids are going to figure it out, b.- someone in the family will slip it out or tell them, or c.- your daughter would have every right to tell them when they are 18. They will obviously wonder why their parents ostracized their sister. She may not have thought about this, and bringing it up may "wake her up" to their stupidity.
I would also talk to his mother. Even if there are bumps between him and his mother; it pales in comparrison to what he has done to his daughter. His mom is the one that has kept the family connection going; she needs to be the one to come to her protection now that it has hurt her. Or at minimum be aware of the situation; maybe his mom will take extra care of dd's heart especially while she is still with them and away from you.
The more I think about it, :cursing:. I would be "spittin' nails mad"!
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:grouphug: Haven't read the other replies, but I would not advise that your dd confront the kids and tell them that she is their sister. If this were my dd, I would take her to counseling, where she can work through some of her feelings about the rejection of her biological father, which is clearly about him and not her. I'm sure she is a wonderful girl. Regardless of your dh's involvement, love, care, etc. in her life, this man is still her biological father, and this is still a huge rejection. It screams "I didn't want you then. I don't want you now." This is something that most people, particularly a young person like your dd, would need help (professional) to process. So I wouldn't do anything before I got her some supportive counseling. If the sibs were adults, I would advise differently...but they are children trying to have a childhood and this man is their father. I don't think anything is gained by causing further turmoil for two more kids.:grouphug:
:iagree:
I was an adult when I found out that I have a half brother who was given up for adoption. I was thankful that my mom didn't tell me this until I was an adult. I handled the information much better and more maturely than I would have as a child.
Your dd's siblings are still very young. I say lay low, maintain the relationships with the rest of the family. I agree with others who said the extended family may revolt against her too, if she tells the young children.
If she decides to do this, she can be encouraged to stand in her own decision and endure his stupidity knowing she is doing it for the prized end result. Which isn't him, but her siblings. When the children are legal adults, she can approach them for a more involved relationship. At that point their parents will look like the insensitive people they truly are and they can't legally do anything about her communications with them. Insensitive not because they didnt tell the siblings, but because of the ostracizing. It would have been very easy for them to involve her, and yet not disclose her relation to their children. Kids don't ask questions like that, they just accept people into their sphere.
My 2 cents. Best wishes for her and you.
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ROTFLMAO!!
Thanks for the great Mother's Day gift............laughter!!
My 2 yr old asked for one of my special Mother's Day cookies which reminded me that I would like some chocolate, which reminded me that I had made some hot chocolate earlier this am. When I got to it, it was cold and that reminded me that I needed to heat up some breakfast for everyone......
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How is she the mother of all of the church? I don't get it. Or is this more of a RC teaching than O?
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"I know that the slaves in America were considered not as human as a white because of their black skin."
Not just in America. It was prevelant everywhere, as you are experiencing residuals from it now. Have you read any biographies on William Wilberforce (England)? What about ancient Asian history of the extents to which women tried to appear pale, and those who weren't became servants? What about the Arab slave trade of 600 - 1900 ad? Even within historical Africa, Sub-Saharan peoples were not considered as good as their Northern neighbors (they are typically darker skinned).
This wikipedia article did a pretty good job of talking about this issue. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_people
BTW, I hate the term "black people" and "white people". If you think about it, it has racial undertones. (the wikipedia article touches on this at the beginning). It makes a distinction between people groups strictly based on their skin color as if that has someting to do with their ethnicity. And as if they are 2 totally different people groups.
If we as Christians truly believe that God created man, then we all came from 1 man and 1 woman. That means there is only 1 race, it is the human race. (and for the atheist, anthropology and genetics agree with this too). If I have to give a distinction in the skin color for description purposes only, I try to use terms like light skinned woman, or dark skinned woman. The only trouble I ran into with someone, was with a Japanese person, who wanted to know the ancestry of the light skinned person. I asked why it was important, and she told me that in general in Japan, Austrailians are considered lazy, but Americans are thought to be hard working. I was stunned, and didnt know what to say. I guess every counrty has some kind of discrimination against another people group. (soapbox time, sorry not trying to derail your thread, just taking the opportunity to vent ;) )
So in answer to your question, I have a guess, but not an anthropologist by any means. I have wondered how much technology has played in this. When I think about how one people group overcomes another people group often military technology is the dividing line. For example, usually armies that used horses and elephants overcame armies that used strictly foot soldiers. Or guns over spears.
In addition, people groups that are able to organize themselves into a larger people group with some form of government typically over-power other smaller people groups who function on a tribal level. Once a nation or people group have overcome another group, often times the defeated groups are belittled, sometimes de-humanized, etc. I wonder if it started with something like that and then permeated through history with each successive domination.
About tanning, recent developement in America, as in the last 75 years or so. Probably with the advent of smaller, skimpier bathing suits and more leisure time.
edited: I took so long posting, I reiterated a little what others had already said. Oops.
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Houses are in PA. Haven't lived there, so can't answer about how many good months outside.
House is <1000sq ft. The yard is big enough for a barn and fenced pasture for goats and chickens, possibly 1 horse.
Each room would have 2-3 in it, but they are actic rooms and there is only room for beds and maybe a dresser. No extra rooms. Just the bare minimums. Kitchen, living room, and eating all one big room. It does have 2 full baths.
Not a forever house.
The larger house has a basement, with a 1 car garage, absolutely no yard, but big bedrooms 4bed/2.5bath, formal dining room, big Eat In kitchen, den, living room, a little over 2000 sq. ft.
hopefully that gives enough info.
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Jennifer - I will miss your input and observations. Hope you come back every now and then.
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I yelled at my mom in front of my kids!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?? And on Mother's weekend. Talk about feeling like bad.
I don't know how to fix this. Of course, I appologized to her in front of the kids, but she is understandably distant.
What to do.........
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If you had to choose between a very large house with no yard or a very small house with a huge yard which would you choose?
Oh and suppose you have a bunch of kids.
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It's suppose to help with insomnia too?
I want it for seasonal depression . We're moving to PA and I figure I am going to need it there. I get low in the winter where winters are mild and hardly last a few months.
Someone suggested getting a sunlamp for this.
I always thought they didn't work, but you said it does for you, so maybe it will for me too.....
I dont even know what questions to ask. I will take your recommendation though. :D
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LMAO!!! Sorry, but that is too funny. Only b/c I have boys, and that is exactly what they would do.
No harm = no foul, right??
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Alright, give 'em up ladies and gents!!
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"Pennsyltucky"
LMAO!!
Sounds like great fun!
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I am thinking about buying a sunlamp.
Is there a particular brand you like best?
Are there key features I should look for?
Does it really work?
How long do you need to sit under it?
How many do yuo have?
Anything I should know aobut using them?
TIA
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The smaller cities are crumbling.
Why? Has anyone given a reason for this, or a guess?
Just thought of another heating source. Kerosene. We have kerosene heaters for when the power goes out. Does anyone here either use them or seen it for sale? How does it compare to oil?
Can oil systems be converted to coal or something else less expensive?
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This is a little long, but in the end, it has to do with diet and acne. :)
My husband had terrible migraines for years. He tried every medication out there, and finally, he came across a book called "Heal Your Headache." In it, the author talks about the various triggers, mostly concentrating on food we eat since those are triggers we can control.
His belief is that migraines encompass much more than just headaches. It can be sluggishness, or even acne, with no headache at all! The migraine gene in our family is very high. Four out of my five children get migraines, the one who doesn't has the sluggishness, and two of them have had bad acne.
My husband went on the migraine "diet" for two months, and 95% of his migraines went away. One by one, my children went on the "diet" too. The one who had the acne problem was one of them. Her acne completely cleared up in about two months.
You can read the book to find out more about it, but generally, the diet includes removing tomatoes, old cheese, citrus, peanuts/peanut butter, onions, nitrates, MSG, caffeine, and new bread from your everyday diet, though once in awhile they are okay.
Anyway, just a thought, in case you're tired of meds and creams.
WOW! Now that is a new one. Is this the book you are talking about:
http://www.amazon.com/Heal-Your-Headache-Program-Taking/dp/0761125663
I do get migraines, have been sluggish (thought it was thyroid), and acne. Maybe so....
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:iagree: My dd, a serious ballet student, started late and has skipped periods. She suffered a stress fracture last year, and her osteopathic physician said the lack of stored estrogen due to low body fat tricks the body into thinking it is in menopause and causes leaching of calcium from the bones leading to fractures, as well as late menarche and missed periods. Dd measured at 6% body fat. Sounds desirable, but apparently it's not really something to shoot for.
Very sorry for your daughter
However, dh must know this is exactly why I need to maintain my weight OR maybe even gain weight !! <<insert evil maniacle laugh>>
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My cylce was short though.. 21 day cycle with 3 days of period.
You lucky dog!! ;)
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Yeah, maybe lease with option to buy would be good. I bet someone would think about letting us do that.
I don't know, but based on what yall are telling me, if I owned a house in PA, I wouldn't even dream of selling it. I would be renting that sucker out, letting someone else pay down the mortgage, and have a nice retirement nest egg building up.
I am still in shock. How am I going to do this, with as many kids as I have?? I am so used to them going out to play and not thinking twice about it.
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I didn't even hit over 100lbs until I was in my 3rd month of the twins pregnancy when I was 26yrs old.
Please excuse me while I use you as an example. :)
A woman can be 100 lbs, but have a higher BMI (fat ratio) than a woman at 135lbs. Weight has nothing to do with BMI.
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I think that the Mexicans with the very young age of puberty are less likely to eat meat and drink milk to the same extent as Americans.
Maybe.....I think it would be hard to know this unless there was a study done on it.
However, every culture has a genetic propensity to certain BMI levels. In other words, the type of food and amount of food does not always correlate to a person's BMI. Often times it is our genetics that determine how we will process food and store fat. Obviously, not the only contributor, but def. effects it.
The book "Love Wins" by Rob Bell.......
in Exploring Orthodox Christianity
Posted
Thankyou Mouse for posting that. I remember youhad posted it once before, but at the time it didnt download quicly enough and I moved on.
It is really good.
btw, not to get you to change your avatar, but I too thought it was a grasshopper. I see it now that you explained, but.........