I ran across this blog post, and it made me think of this child. So much went wrong even before it got to this point; many adults failed this child (why was he so angry, repeatedly, in the first place? why were those problems not addressed?), so the child was punished. Anyway, this blog post could be for anybody who has ever faced a raging child and wondered, "What IS going on in that child's head? (And what should I do?)" http://hypnosaka.blogspot.com/2010/09/we-dont-need-to-escalate-12-steps-to.html (I especially like point #10, but of course the whole thing is worthwhile.)

Wow. Refrigerated food -- meat, veggies, whatever -- is fine to eat for a week after being cooked and refrigerated. (Don't you keep your turkey leftovers around that long after Thanksgiving? Some eventually goes in sandwiches, some in soup, etc. But it lasts quite a while, right? Or maybe I'm really lax! :) )

A business workplace would have some kind of self-checking structure in place so things wouldn't get omitted. Maybe a spreadsheet to type the steps into (which would signal if a step or a form or something was missed), maybe a visual system of filing or organizing work, maybe a verification program for computer work, maybe a team-based approach. The extreme independence of school -- where each student, alone, is completely responsible for each and every aspect of everything they do, and with no team-based or management or structural support, no cubicle mate to ask a quick question to, or answer a quick question for -- is pretty unrealistic, actually. Bosses tend to be much more lenient than teachers! :) Anyway, I'd do the same as I'd do for public-school schoolwork (if my child were in school): look over the assignments every day at (you pick: 5 p.m., 3 p.m., noon), and if something's not done, then say, "Whoops, you left out page 2 of the math, and an essay question in the history book. Would you rather finish it up before or after having your ice cream?" ;)

First, get clear in your own mind why you're doing it. If you can't really explain it to yourself (is it because I don't trust the school? no, that's not it, exactly ... well, is it because I worry she won't learn this stuff otherwise? ... is it because I want to *reinforce* the school stuff? ... because I just want to? ... or ... ?), then you won't be able to explain it to anybody else! Whether they're six years old or sixty. (I'll confess that I've found myself in this position talking about homeschooling. :) ) Here are some ideas: "Because I like to work with you." "Because there are different ways of learning math, and I want you to try the different ways." "Would you rather do this at a different time, instead of right after school [or right before bed, or whenever you usually do it]?" (IOW, consider changing the process, and letting the child have some input into how it changes.) (As a nod to other ideas offered here: Naturally, giving up the afterschooling, or giving up the "schooling" schooling :), are options. They're good ones to keep in mind as you evaluate why you choose to do whatever you're doing -- they can help you clarify what you really do and really don't want -- but of course that doesn't mean you have to actually choose either of those options.)

Maybe she could use a year off, between high school and college? The colleges will still be there later. Or she could do a class or two at community college, and then transfer in a year or two. Not everybody has to follow the same track.

Wonderful book: "Home Educating Our Autistic Spectrum Children: Paths Are Made by Walking" http://www.amazon.com/Home-Educating-Autistic-Spectrum-Children/dp/1843100371/ref=pd_sim_b_2 My 8 y/o has Aspergers. It wasn't a surprise to us when he was diagnosed four years ago. His "treatment" is simply pursuing his interests (lately these include marble runs; Legos; YouTube videos of marble runs and other machines; Alice in Wonderland -- both books, the old Disney cartoon, and the Tim Burton movie; learning chess; Pixar movies; drawing things, including cartoon strips and what he did today and what he's been reading lately, etc.), being introduced to new interesting things, receiving attention and respect from his elders, playing in the children's bell choir at church and attending Sunday school (small group, small church; he's happiest in small, familiar groups), visiting other people sometimes, visiting parks and museums. He isn't on any special medical, dietary, or behavioral regime. He's a very happy kid! That is, he gets highly upset when he does something wrong; things not going as planned are extremely upsetting to him. He wants the world to make sense, and so often, it simply doesn't -- things just happen, and he can't figure out why, because it doesn't fit with his own internal system of logic. So a lot of life is confusing to him. And he's obsessed with some things, you know (the interests come and go); and fearful about some things (the fears come and go). There are times, for example, when he's afraid to be in a room alone; then, after a while (a month, or a season), the fear will pass. There are times when he has to have food served a certain way, and so we serve it that way. And then, after a while, that passes too. Most things do, with time. And so, mostly, he's a very happy kid! Interested in his activities, very concerned about the bugs when I smash them (which means I can't smash them anymore; I have to catch and release!), engaged in whatever he's decided to do today. And absolutely honest. He does not know how to lie, I don't think. Another good book I've read is "Choosing Home: Deciding to Homeschool With Asperger's Syndrome." Best wishes to you!

Sounds normal for the age! Some kids grasp letter/number orientation very early, while others take a while. Their brains will get it eventually. You know how a fork is a fork is a fork, whether it's pointing up, down, diagonally, or flipped over? And a dog is a dog is a dog, whether he's facing left, facing right, looking up, lying down? The brain grasps that pretty early. Now consider the letter d. If it's facing one way, it's a d. If it's facing the other way, it's a b. If it's upside down, it's a p. And yet it's the same shape! A developing brain (young child) will interpret all these orientations (just like all the orientations of the fork) as the same entity (it's that "bee-dee" thing, seems to change name depending on what word it's in, hmm, hope I guess right today). With exposure, the brain will sort it out and grasp that -- ah ha! -- the one facing THIS way (d) is a "dee," while the one facing THAT way (b) is a "bee." And that forward-facing "2" is different from backward-facing "2." And, eventually, the child will recognize this consistently, rather than just sometimes. (And without using helping "tricks," like when you figure out that the blue letter magnet is the "dee" and the red one is the "bee," and then -- oh no! -- somebody added some new magnets of different colors, and now you can't tell anymore!) Again, some kids get this when they're two, others when they're nine. Most somewhere between those ages. :) Ease it along; she'll get it. (Also, my memory is much better some days than other days, too! And my skills vary; one day I'm in top form on the scheduling skills but cannot put together a simple lunch, another day I'm a cooking whiz but cannot add 2+2, still another day I'm an ace with the taxes but cannot hold a coherent conversation or remember how old I am. Kids have ups and downs like that, too.)

I had no idea that flashing lights meant "look out for cops"! lol ... I do take flashing lights as a warning of sorts, though -- meaning the oncoming driver should be on the lookout for something up ahead -- kind of a general "keep your eyes open." I think I've only used flashing brights to warn oncoming people of deer grazing by the road.