Also, I wonder how our Western history plays into our educational and personal expectations for our children ? feels way better to make this issue bigger and broader than the individual :)

Actually, I said not all aspects of all cultures are equal :) And yes, I do think depriving a child of the ability to attend to her basic needs amounts to deprivation of her liberties. I'm so glad I live in a liberal Western democracy where a 'major' problem seems to be asking ourselves if we are 'too kind to our kids.'

My dd wants to go to school in a years time and one of the reasons I'm ok with it is because there is a population/atmosphere/leadership there that values dialogue and support of one another in this way. The photo I saw made me cry and I'm not even religious..it was just decent and compassionate.

Just thought it was worth noting that at least since the time of the Tang and Song dynasties, there has been an emphasis in Chinese culture on valuing an administrative class where affluence and status were strongly reliant on one's performance in civil service examinations. As much as I vehemently disagree with the author of the article, I do see where her thinking comes from historically.

I saw a beautiful photo of a Muslim woman outside a church in Cairo holding up a crescent and a cross in protest at the violence at the Coptic church recently.

I hear you. I have a (non lifestyle acquired lung disease ie have never smoked) that means I spend a lot of time sitting in chest clinic waiting rooms, surrounded by people with diseases caused directly by their decision to smoke, and to continue to smoke, even though you'd have to live in a cave no to know quitting is a Good Thing. I get very angry that the health dollar is being used on treating their COPD or emphysema (sp?). That $ could go towards finding a cure for my own disease or helping all the children with cystic fybrosis live longer and healthier lives.

This article also ignores current research, which suggests that neither authoritarian or permissive parenting styles work terribly well and that authoritative parenting is the way to go. One of the wonderful aspects of Western culture is that we recognise children as people with human rights. Re-reading this article, two things strike me. Firstly, the denigration of the author's husband and the rejection of his right as a parent to influence the family's child-rearing practices. Secondly, this mother actually deprived her own child of her basic liberties. She 'kidnapped' the child in her own home. Her description of how she deprived the child of basic rights such as that to quench her thirst and to go to the bathroom when needed are akin to control tactics a kidnapper might use. To say - as some have here - that criticism of this woman shows a disrespect for her culture - is ridiculous. Firstly, she has invited the criticism. Secondly, to act and speak as if all aspects of all cultures are equal is a nonsense. Western culture has its flaws but I would far rather raise my children within it than a culture that practices Sharia law or pressures its children academically to the point of suicide for some. I am quite happy to criticise where I see fit.

Children quite often wish to please those who abuse them. I really question whether the daughter's outer behaviour - 'taking it well' matches her inner dialogue. Everyone, stop running down your own culture!! America is wonderful - and I'm not even American. We can learn from other cultures but let's not denigrate our multi-focused way of raising children. I'm sure there are many people from other cultures who could suggest ways of improving our own in a way that is not abusive to children.

This article reveals a fairly narrow definition of success. It's also racist. Many Chinese and other immigrant parents would be concerned for their child's holistic well-being, just as many Western parents help their children to understand that mastery only comes through effort and practice. I'm surprised people are giving the thumbs up to such a piece. Besides its acceptance of emotional abuse as a way of raising and motivating children, its obviously written to gain publicity - like all 'oh my, I'm so controversial' pieces are - rather than a serious look at what we can all learn from each other culturally. We can disagree about whether calling a child names like 'fatty' is abuse - I think we could all agree that it;s inefficient parenting that is unlikely to achieve the goal of raising a healthy child. There are many incredible things about Western culture and I am tired of hearing it denigrated. Caring about your child's psyche doesn't equate to weak parenting. I'm finding this conversation frustrating, and although there are many people here calling this article out for what it is - abuse - the number of people praising it is truly disturbing to me.

If it makes you feel better, my 10yr old dd stayed stuck for an entire morning once on 100-1. Oh, you can imagine how proud I felt of my homeschooling prowess that day!

Ridiculous and abusive. What happens to the child who doesn't excel? Are they then permanently 'garbage' ? What happens to the child who is emotionally intelligent and not academic ? Is this woman seriously suggesting there are no burnt-out, deliquent, depressed or suicidal children raised in these conditions ? Children are not machines to be honed. A newspaper here recently interviewed a Chinese mother who was concerned about this approach and requires her children to balance their studies with - gasp! sport! drama! - she has seen the pain this approach (in the article ) has caused to families in her own community. Absolutely offensive. I'm tired of being told how lousy permissive westerners must be. I don't care what culture you come from - being told "lose weight fatty" by your own parent would be devastating. Can you tell I'm angry ??? I hope this article was some kind of joke.

Just on your showering problem - do you have a bath ? I often have a bath when I'm the only adult at home with my youngers. I can be with them when it's running and I can hear what's happening in the house when I'm actually bathing.

Yes, same thing after 10yrs pregnant or b/f - it settled down after a while ( a couple of years ? ) and while thinner than before dc, isn't troubling me too much atm.

I sometimes wish I could believe but I just can't. Don't even have that mustard seed to work with! What confirmed my non-belief was studying modern history in high school. I was unable to believe that a benevolent God would allow a Jewish baby to be kicked as a football by guards in a concentration camp, for example. Anyway...probably best not to get into it too much here :)

I've had a look for you - I think you might be missing out on a 'speaking and listening' component to the English KLA. Don't know what it's like in your state, but in NSW it needs to be addressed. I usually just say things like "dd takes part in informal and formal conversations through family discussion, discussion of books and other learning topics, listening and responding to xyz" blah blah blah, you get the picture! Otherwise it looks good. I like the way you've expressed your dc's progress. Just show them the blog. They'll be amazed and astounded at all the great things you do - I am :)

Yes. I was raised Catholic but was agnostic by the time I hit double digits. My dd's pray and believe in God. My ds is only 6 but he is more like me, unable to believe, even in things like Santa, let alone a deity.

I'm stuck. It seems we've read all the classics for younger children, but a lot of the YA contemporary fiction is too mature in theme. My dd's are 11 and 13 but have older reading ages. 13yr old has read Austen, Bronte etc already. I'm trying to put together a list for read alouds this year and coming up with nothing. Anyone know of some good reading lists ? Or have some suggestions of their own ? TIA.

Hmm. You're right - I am very ambivalent about her going to high school. Certainly not for - and yet, not entirely against. I just want her to be happy. I'm not so attached to homeschooling as an idea that I'd reject it if it was right for her. In some ways it might be. I'm just not quite sure how to create a homeschool environment that works for her. Maybe that is actually my question - how to make homeschool great for a social child who loves to be active and perform, when I'm feeling the need to be at home most of the time to help my older dd focus on academics and my younger ds master basic skills ? Anyone else juggle pre-teens/teens with very different learning styles ?

If it's any consolation, I look at your blog and it seems you do so many wonderful things in such a lovely place and in a charming manner! And then I contemplate the many things I haven't done and would like to, or did but did poorly. It's good to assess the year for what worked and what didn't. Fatal to compare :)

I'm new here, but this seems like an active board, with plenty of opinions, so I thought I'd ask. My middle daughter is 11 and wants to go to school (high school in Australia) the year after next. Her reasons are that she wants to have more opportunities for dance and to have friends who live in the local area. She attends dance classes once a week atm. More would be stretching the budget somewhat, as she has h/s siblings also. We live in a large city and friends are scattered all over the place. She can't walk to a friends house for example. If she went to high school she would have access to friends in the surrounding suburbs as well as low-cost dance ensembles. I can see it would help in those two aspects - I have worries about how focused her education would be, that she is susceptible to peer influence and also that it will cause friction having one at school and two at home. To be honest, I don't want to have to tangle with the school system again either. What do you think ? Accept that h/s doesn't work for every child ? Send her off with your blessings ? Try to change things up at home ? Not sure, and welcome opinions.

I know that feeling of frustration with the medical profession! In my experience, some conditions respond well to alternative medicine, some don't. It's worth a try. It can be very expensive however. In my opinion, it's important to discuss with the naturopath what a likely course of treatment will be, how you will measure the success of your treatment, a rough time frame before you could reasonably expect improvement. Then self-assess the treatment at regular intervals. Don't expect instant results, but don't let treatment drag on too long with only promises of improvement. good luck!

I was on prednisone for three years. It truly was life or death - without it, my lungs would have become completely damaged and useless due to a fungal allergy. I tried herbs etc as well but have only recently been able to wean off the drug. Here's what i wish I knew at the start: Reduce your calorie intake by at least a quarter to minimise weight gain. Start taking calcium and Vitamin D and have your bone strength monitored. Visit an opthamologist - cataracts are a possibility, so is glaucoma ( with high, prolonged doses ). Be aware of side effects - it can make you feel 'high' at first, but can later cause things like loss of libido. Get your blood sugar levels monitored. Hand hygeine - your immune system will be down. Wash hands frequently, don't eat out, eat really, really well, only moderate exercise. Stay away ( as best you can ) from anyone who is sick. Make sure your prescibing dr is aware of all the monitoring you need so you can be referred to appropriate people. Ask what the plan is for weaning you off the drug. Not to scare you, just to help you avoid some of the problems I had due to lack of info. Sometimes you do have little choice about taking this drug. I hope you are able to find an alternative - if you can't - you need to think about it like this "this awful drug is allowing me to keep on raising my children' and that helps put things in perspective a little. I'm new here, not sure if you can pm or email me on these forums ? If you can, do. I'm really, really happy to share what my experience - good and bad - was. Some was good! Being alive is good! Not getting diabetes or any facial hair or acne was good! sorry, rushing b/c ds is whining for breakfast.

I'm not a good mother either when I write. I become completely absorbed in what I'm doing and find it irritating to be dragged out of that world into my 'mummy' role. Also, I need a lot of time just thinking - not talking or listening to other people! - to even start to 'hear' what I'm going to write. That doesn't mesh well with having my children with me 24/7. So I mother much more than I write. Although now they are older ( 13, 11, 6 ) I feel they can manage my 'absence' a little more and so I do write more than when they were little. Interesting thread.

No, I don't. I think artists probably suffer at similar rates to the rest of the population. Artists don't have so much stigma attached to it though - it's their 'creative process', not a mental illness. Creative people should probably realise that they need to take responsibility for their mental health issues because they impact on others around them. I don't believe suffering from anxiety/depression makes you a better artist/writer. I don't believe dealing with your own brain chemistry stops you creating or accessing your muse. I think creative types ( and I am one, published poet ) get away with causing pain for themselves and others because of that stereotype. Introversion, or the need to be alone, to have plenty of non-verbal thinking and creating time is necessary to create. That's different to depression, moodiness or even the blues. Just my 2c :)

Yes, this seems to be a busy place! Thanks for the link :)