I can't speak highly enough of using progesterone cream. I just saw my hormone dr yesterday and I swear, going to see her has changed my life so dramatically! I turned 40 this year and feel better than I did throughout my whole 30s. I use bioidentical progesterone through a troche (dissolves in your mouth) but have used cream in the past. I would encourage you to get your hormone levels tested by a knowledgeable dr. Call a compounding pharmacy and ask for names of drs who prescribe bioidentical hormones.

What is it with the suitcases? Seriously! They're gone from the house a total of four nights (2 at our house, 2 on the road) and they bring at least 4 suitcases and numerous canvas bags filled with stuff. It's crazy! Everything they bring in is just spilling all over the place and they leave a lot of it in the car.

They're not exactly *mad*. They just stupid, unkind things because they don't think before they speak. I talked with dh about it last night and he's on the same page. He said he doesn't want them to come this next time. I told him that I hope they like beef because they're going to have a cow! :lol: He's hoping to plan our anniversary trip around the time they would've come.

I can see where that would be a problem. lol! We don't really have the extra space. Never have frankly, but that doesn't stop them.

That would be a nice thought but would probably be just as painful as just telling them they can't stay here. They've only ever "babysat" the grandkids once when we asked. We weren't out the door 5 mins when they put them down for a nap. They've never offered to let us get some time alone while they're here. MIL wants ALL of us to be together the WHOLE time.

We don't have a guest room. They sleep on a blow up mattress on the living room floor (with all their suitcases falling all over the place.)

Sounds about like our situation.

Really? :confused: I can understand being disappointed but considering what was going on in my life at the time, a visit from ANYBODY was the last thing I needed. She's still crying about it over 2 years later!

Another example - 2years ago we asked them not to come for Thanksgiving. We were expecting a baby the first part of Nov (which usually means about 10 days later for us). Well, Oct 5th, my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. She was supposed to have surgery on the 14th but had a life threatening reaction to her seizure medicine. She was in ICU for a week. Baby ended up being born on Oct 23rd (can you say stress?) Mom ended up having brain surgery on Nov 18th. Thanksgiving was the the next week. Well, she still cries (literally) about that holiday. How we wouldn't let her come see her grandkids. How selfish we were. :confused:

I can't leave the house without her wanting to come too. She actually thinks we need to all be together all the time. They don't get to see us very often and don't want to miss a minute. If we need to run errands, then they want all of us to go and lets stop for lunch/dinner while we're at it because 7 kids in a restaurant is just so much fun. :glare:

For the first many years, MIL would only say these kinds of things when dh wasn't around. He had trouble believing they were true. He finally agreed to never leave me alone with them when possible. It's not always possible and things can still be said on occasion. I quit answering the phone when they called, especially if dh wasn't here so they couldn't say things then. Dh is very much NOT a boat rocker. He doesn't like people to be upset with him and tries to handle things diplomatically which doesn't seem to register with some people. lol! I think MIL is just lonely. She desperately wants people to like her but her mouth gets in the way. She has LOTS of "friends" but I wonder how many are very close? I know she alienates most people at some point. Family have to put up with her, I guess. I'm just tired of putting up with her in my house. I'd like some down time in the mornings/evenings while we're getting around or getting ready for bed. I don't serve the right kind of food. She SAYS she's low carb so she won't eat my homemade biscuits in the morning but she'll eat two of her VERY large rice krispie treats while we're watching a movie at night. I'm just tired of it! Usually I enjoy the nice long break between their visits and steel myself for the next one, but the comments just keep coming this time. I told dh we should have him just wait on my hand and foot the next time they come, just to be snarky. :lol:

In the end, I do think about this kind of thing. BUT I don't plan on being the kind of MIL who checks the oven to make sure it's clean or tells DIL how lazy she is because she "refuses" to work outside the home or tells DIL how much they hate spending time with her family when they come for a visit (my parents used to live in our neighborhood) or argues with DIL about whose responsibility the grandkids are, etc. Care to hear more? They made some rude comments about my appearance to dh after their last visit and are now telling dh he's doing too much around the house to help me out. It was my "choice" to stay home and have all these kids and I should just deal with the consequences of that.

LOL! It didn't stop them last year when we had scarlet fever and pneumonia in the house. I guess I should be thankful they don't come that long. We're the only family they have here. That's another sore spot with them. Their son married a "foreigner" and moved across country from ALL his family to make her happy.

Apparently the kids didn't help pick it out (I thought they had.) He had just shown it to them after he got it.

This story reminded me of a funny story in our marriage. My dh will bring me chocolate when he knows I've had a bad day. (See, he really is a pretty good guy!) He always thinks "the bigger, the better" right? He would bring me the King Size Hershey bars. Now, I love the smaller ones, but the bigger ones taste different to me. I've tried for years to drop hints about preferring the smaller ones. I had dd tell him on various occasions that mom would probably like the little ones better. He just wasn't getting it and I didn't want to seem ungrateful. One day, I'd had a very hard day and was deep in PMS. He brought me the usual big chocolate bar and I burst out crying, telling him "if you ever bring me another King Size bar, I'm going to divorce you." :lol: It worked! He always brings me the small ones now. lol!!!

I guess I should say the closest hotel is going to be about 20mins away and it's NOT going to go over well if we ask them to stay in a hotel. MIL thinks we need to ALL be together ALL the time.

I'm the keeper of all these monkeys! :D

We've always had a bit of a strained relationship with dh's parents. His mom is queen of saying stupid things. His dad isn't so bad most of the time. Sometimes he'll start saying some of the things MIL has been putting into his head. They came for Thanksgiving and are expected back at Easter. Since their last visit, they've made some incredibly stupid remarks to dh. They live 1000 miles away. Usually come for 2-3 days and stay with us. They always have. Even when we had 3 kids in a 750 sqft apartment. :glare: The thought of their next visit is just sending my skin crawling! They've never agreed with our lifestyle. We have too many kids (7 - we've been getting the V talk since #2) and I really should be working outside the home to help their "poor son" with financially supporting this large family. Dh is a very helpful dh. He often helps around the house with laundry and pick up. He does a lot of the cooking on the weekends because he wants to. Because of that, his dad thinks he needs to let me be "the woman of the house." :001_huh: I know they come from a different generation, but they should just keep their mouths shut! I've finally gotten bold enough to tell them as much in recent years, but it hasn't helped. I really don't want them to stay with us this next visit. I'm just fed up with their comments. I haven't said anything to dh yet. I know he'll say/do whatever I want in this situation so I really want to think about it for a while. Anyway, where do your ILs stay when they come from a distance?

I am so sorry you had such a bad experience with this dr! She really sounds like she doesn't know that much about bio-identical hormones. They have really changed my life! It took some looking around and trying different drs before I finally found one who knew what she was talking about. Keep looking if you can! It's so worth it!

Ironic, huh?? If it weren't for the numerous conversations we've had about how I don't care for much jewelry, it'd be understandable.

Thankfully, this isn't a habit. lol! He usually does pretty good with gifts (thanks in part to my oldest dd.) This jewelry thing just came out of nowhere! Other than our wedding rings, he's bought me jewelry twice in our marriage - the earrings and the cross necklace. I guess I just didn't expect it because we've talked in the past about how I just don't like to wear much as opposed to his mother who has a set for every outfit. We returned it and are saving the money for our trip.

If it had been something small, I'd have hidden any disappointment, but I really hated to see him spend so much money on something that would have sat in my drawer. I really hesitated in saying anything at all to him, but if it were me and I'd spent that much money, I'd rather someone speak up about it.

We're going this afternoon. Dh usually has the week between Christmas and New Year off so we've got plenty of time. We've got older kids so no need to even hire a babysitter. Thank you guys for the perspective (and the guy perspective in there too!)

Thank you! He keeps telling me he's ok with returning it and doesn't know what he was thinking when he bought it. I guess I just need to give myself permission to be ok with it all.

I guess I didn't mention that he wants to return it. :crying: