My kids are only small still, but somehow it sounds very similar to my world. I read once that the best way to handle these types of situations is to react first with empathy, "Oh no, I'm sorry you made that choice." And then serve consequences. It is shown to confuse their argument section of their brain and then when the consequence is served, they don't have any steam left. All I can say is that it works great on 5 years olds, might be worth a try on 14 year olds. I'll let ya know in about 10 years!