It's encouraging to know a dr. recommended it.

I've been using Lumosity (the free trial) for about 8 weeks now. The first couple of weeks my BPI was flatlined - stayed the same. I was worried (Alzheimers?) But the last 5 weeks my BPI has been steadily climbing and I am encouraged. I did start doing it every day & that may have made the difference. I try to do it in the morning, after breakfast & make it part of my routine. My Mom has dementia & I am interested in doing everything I can to prevent it or stave it off. Lumosity is challenging I like it (some games more than others) & I think it is helping me. I did sign my 14yo son up, but his free trial was only for a few weeks. I plan to eventually sign up for the family plan and have been encouraging my dh to give it a go.

I'm asking because just this last week I've had 2 different people call me repeatedly within a 24 to 48 hour period without allowing me a chance to call them back. One called 4 times in 24 hours, another called like 5 times in 36 hours and at odd hours. Neither are emergencies and one is a person I haven't heard from in 30 years & I'm not quite sure I want to reconnect for various reasons, especially given their compulsive phone calling. Stressing me out. How much is too much & what do you think of someone who just keeps calling before you've even had a chance to return the call? We're not talking phone tag here where we keep missing each other. They called & was very busy & didn't have a chance to call them back and they just keep phoning & phoning. When I call someone I wait a couple of days for them to get back to me before I try again (unless I need info or an answer from them. I also have someone in my life who gets mad when, after speaking with them for anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours get angry when I want to end the phone call before they do. What do you all think? Am I crazy or do I just have a lot of crazies in my life? I just figure if someone doesn't call me back that they are very busy and will get back to me when they can. And if someone wants to end a phone call with me, I'm okay with that. If there was something more I wanted to discuss I will ask them to call me back when it is convenient. ETA: These are personal calls. When I was working I did return work calls same day. They did leave messages & they weren't urgent. I wasn't able to call the acquaintance I barely know back because I was at event all day and all night for a couple of days & was only free late at night. TThe person who's trying to reconnect is a mentally ill distant older relative who I haven't heard from in 30 years & I am uncomfortable with him. I don't know the nature of the mental illness, depression, I think. It seems like more than depression to me though. I think they are not dangerous. Just odd. Almost sounded like a mushy drunk in one of the messages. I haven't seen the guy in 30 years and we were never close.

Cheryl, Are you happy/unhappy with it so far? What do you like & dislike about it? My son is 14, finishing 8th grade this year & I am considering CC for next year. The local community only offers Challenge A & B right now, unless I want to consider being a tutor for Challenge 1. I'm worrried Challenge B would be too easy for him.

RaeAnne, I don't know all the details, but it sounds like this girl needs help and guidance. No one can make the decision for her, but they can share their concerns in a loving, non-threatening, and supportive manner (no ultimatums). I also suggest directing her to someone materials, online or otherwise that have warnings about controlling behaviors, so she can see for herself that it's not just you or her mom saying things against her fiance. Whatever you can do to support this girl and make it easier for her to walk away from this guy, please do it! A man who is controlling while dating will only get worse after the wedding. Is he abusive? Abuse is about power and control. All abusers are controlling, but not all controllers are abusers. Still. It's not possible to have a good relationship with a controller until they get help. I'm not sure if you are afraid the dad would show up at your house and cause trouble or the fiance would. In either case you do not have to allow anyone in your home you do not want and by "trouble" if you mean get violent, then do not hesitate to call the police and file a restraining order. One cannot make the choice for her, but you and her mom and anyone else who cares about her can provide support and options for her that would make it possible for her to leave this guy & call off the wedding. She may be getting married to escape her abusive father. Out of the frying pan into the fire! She needs information and support. Here is a link to the power and control wheel. Do any of his behaviors appear on the wheel. http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/pdfs/PowerControlwheelNOSHADING.pdf This website Love Is Respect looks good. There is a dating basics section that asks "Is My Relationship Healthy?": http://www.loveisrespect.org/dating-basics/dating-basics She also will need counseling with a counselor who specializes in recovering from abuse for her to recover from the abuse in her family. She probably shouldn't get married until she has spent some time in recovery. I'd be interested in knowing how this turns out. There are articles out there onine about how to help a friend in an abusive relationship. They might be useful to you.

We usually celebrate as a family, casually, at home. For the life of me I cannot remember last year's Valentine's Day. Usually I make a special meal at home and give my son & hubby each some candy and a card. This morning (afternoon, really) I made heart shaped pink pancakes for ds. Tonight dh is taking us out to Logan's Roadhouse. Not sure why he chose that restaurant or how he can afford to take me anywhere, but it's dinner out, so who am I to complain! :hurray:

I've been asked to teach it for co-op next year and I have no idea what to do. We meet Sept - March, approximately 2x per month for a total of 14 class sessions. Each class period is 60 minutes. Any ideas or suggestions?

I'm looking into the possibility of moving to that area. My Mom needs our help. We want to stay in MI, but my sister will fight me in getting guardianship of my Mom if we don't move down there, so I am at least looking into it, though right now dh is unwilling to move & I am reluctant. But I really want to care for Mom at home, if possible. My Mom has dementia and lives in Landenber PA, just a few minutes north of Newark, DE. She rents a townhouse and It's very expensive. Where in the tri-state area is a nice place for families to live but where the housing prices are really low? Southern Chester County is very nice, but too expensive for us, especially since we are starting over after suffering through unemployment. We would be looking to rent a 3 or 4 bedroom home or townhouse with a basement. What is the job situation there? Is it easy to find a job? How are the salaries. My sister has been unable to find a decent paying Medical Assistant job, but I don't know if that is typical. My husband would be looking for a hospice chaplain position. And which state has the most relaxed homeschool laws? Which of the 3 states has the most support and resources for high school homeschoolers? Co-ops, activities, etc.

:grouphug: Hugs to both of you and anyone else caring for their parents. My friend too is caring for her MIL with Alzheimers and she uses her FB page to sort of blog about living with Alzheimers. We are going through a tough situation with my Mom who has dementia and lives in another state. She has designated no PoA and will not let my sister and I help and even filed a restraining order against us! This is so not the Mom I've known my whole life. Well, except for the fierce determination to be independent! We're having a hard time getting her help and now my sister is shutting me out. She texted me that she is proceeding without me. She has been alternately nice and alternately angry and accusing through this whole thing. She even threw me out of her apartment when I was visiting 9 months ago to try to get Mom to the doctor! I want to get guardianship of Mom, but I don't have the money and my sister would probably fight me. She seems to want me to be there and take care of Mom, but she wants to make the decisions, be in control.

Believe it or not, for me doing something with my hands that is mindless really helps - like doing the dishes. Doing anything physical: vacuuming, exercising, going for a walk. Sometimes calming music helps. Talking to a friend. Praying.

INo, he only feels respected if I am utterly, totally passive and agree with him on anything and everything and have no needs. He has been emotionally draining, verbally & economically abusive, controlling, isolating and spiteful and takes his anger out on me, no matter how "respectful" I was. Which is why I asked for opinions. I wanted to make sure I wasn't just knee jerk reacting or seeing control where there wasn't any. I have asked him to seek help for his anger issues. He has to some extent, and has mellowed a few degrees but still holds much of the same extreme ideas that feed his anger.

I want to "like" everyone's post but fear that would be overkill! I agree with everyone's replies so far on both issues. Just wanted to make sure I'm not crazy. I will miss ds but I want him to be able to spend time with friends especially since he doesn't get too often - we homeschool, he's an only child & we live in a rural area with his friends scattered all over. Was feeling dh was putting way too much on this one day, but was okay with him deciding. Did not want him to lay an undeserved guilt trip on ds though. "Geez! let him go already!" I was thinking. I was also thinking I'd rather ds wanted to be with us rather than that he is forced or guilted into it. I did intend to support dh whichever way he decided, but I was hoping he would say yes and I did give my opinion. Yes dh does have guilt. And he did bring a lot other stuff to the issue. At the same time we are both going through the gradually letting go blues! I did mention to him that the issues he brought up didn't really seem to be relevant to the situation. I'm not home right now. DS just texted me and said dh said he could go! Happy for ds!

Our family (me, dh, & 14 yo ds) has a tradition of watching the SuperBowl together with special munchies. We're not super football fans or anything, but we do enjoy watching the Super Bowl together. Super casual, but it's a tradition we enjoy and it's important to us, but not as important as Easter or Christmas or anything. This year a friend invited ds to watch it with him along with a couple of other friends. The friend has 3 sisters who aren't interested and his father is out of town. Anyway, I would prefer ds to stay home with us - I will miss him if he goes - but I'm okay with him going to his friends for the Super Bowl. He said he just wants to do it this one time. Dh however is strongly against it & I feel he's making a bigger deal out of it than it is and bringing way too much emotion to the situation. However, I do feel there is no right or wrong in the situation. Letting ds go is okay. Telling ds we'd rather he didn't is okay too. Keep in mind ds is very compliant and good. He's not perfect, but is generally a good boy. And we are together, usually just the 3 of us all the holidays. We have spent the last 3 Thanksgivings at a friend's house together. I have 2 questions: the first is, how do you handle traditions & situations like this with your family? My second question is related to what ds said to me about the situation, so here are the various things he said (I mostly listened attentively while he did most of the talking): "You're probably okay with it. I gave up going over my friend's house for the Super Bowl a couple of years ago because it was important to you. We have to teach him to respect us and our traditions and I don't think he should go for that reason If we don't teach him that, you're going to be very lonely when you're an old woman and I've passed away, he won't come visit you. When I was a teenager, my parents let me go out with my friends all the time and as a result I didn't want to be with them & when my father was dying I went out to a movie with my friends. I wasn't even there & I think it's because they didn't teach me to respect family time. I see elderly people every day whose children never visit them and they live nearby and it's because the parents didn't teach them to respect them. He should be with his family, not his friends who won't even be in his life in a few years. Train up your child in the way he should go...You never respect my opinion. That goes way back to the beginning of our marriage and is why we have arguements. He quoted another verse, but I don't remember. You know it's not fair now - I can't win. If I say no then I am the bad guy" I'm leaving a lot out - I can't remember everything. I didn't say much, he didn't really let me, but I did mention I thought he was bringing a lot to the issue that didn't fit the situation. I said not agreeing isn't the same as being disrespectful. When I asked what respecting his opinion looked like, he said I should say, "Do whatever you want honey because you are head of the household." I felt a little overwhelmed and beat up and reluctant to share my thoughts since they differed from his somewhat. What are your responses to what my husband said about the issue?

Is that what you are doing? How do you make that work? Are you referring to leaving them home alone all day? That's not something I would feel comfortable doing.

We have been having problems since my dh lost his job 4 years ago. He can't or won't get a decent paying job. He finally got a new job and it pays well, but it's part time with no chance of full time (he's an independent contractor). To make it worse, he is racking up debt: credit card debt & student loans going back to school. Ds graduates in 4.5 years, my plan was to go back to school then & get a job to put ds through college & save for retirement while we lived on dh's salary. At this rate I will be working just to pay off the debt! By God's grace we have survived, but homeschooling with no money and when I'm worried about how to pay bills is getting old. It wasn't too bad when ds was younger, but we are in the second half of 8th grade. I am not doing all the subjects because I don't have all the books. I'm certainly not educating him classically or even neo-classically. He's only had a few lessons of Latin a few years ago. I don't have access to the internet at home, so it's hard to rely on internet resources (free online courses) on a daily basis. Compounding the financial strain (sometimes I don't even have money for gas) is the fact that my Mom, who lives 600 miles away has dementia (we just found out recently). No one has power of attorney & her paranoia is causing her to not talk to my sister or me. She won't talk to me on the phone and we have no power, financially or legally to do anything for her. If anyone is going to take care of her, it will most likely be me, but how can I when we don't even have the means to move to a bigger place or support ourselves adequately. I fear it is coming down to I'm going to have to try to get a job (don't know if I can get a decent one without going back to school - I've been out of the workforce for 14 years, except for occasional, temporary jobs) and put my son in public school, which just breaks my heart. I thought only other homeschoolers would understand. I'm sorry to sound so negative, I am so discouraged. I am not giving my son the education that I wanted to give him - the education that he deserves. He's a very bright boy, not too motivated though. Part of it he is down a little because of the stress our situation is causing. Anyone else been in a similar situation? Any encouragement or suggestions would be so helpful.

Well I checked out a 15 Minute Dance Workout dvd from the library yesterday. But I haven't exercised yet this week, unless you count Wii Tennis :). I do tend to move around a lot playing that. My son barely moves when he plays it.

I love the idea of reading a book a week, but how do you all make it work? I love to read, but rarely find the time. I have a hard time finishing a book a month for the book club I attend. I am currently reading Les Miserables (Kindle version) and there is no way I could read that in 1 week! Please tell me, how do you all do it? And remember what you read?

I gained 5 pounds in December before all the Christmas goodies while I was sick! Anyway, I want to make exercise a priority & I prefer classes for the social aspect & to get out of the house, but finances won't allow. We live in a small apt. We do have a mini tramp which we squeeze into our laundry room (closet) & pull out when we use it. I need variety though. Any ideas? I can only think of exercise dvds, but even if I go that route, our library only lets you borrow dvds for 3 days. Any recommendations for either dvd workouts or other exercise ideas. I don't mind walking when it's in the 30s or higher & there is no ice, but it's cold, snowy & icy now & probably will be for the next 2 or 3 months.

It's not on your poll, but I'm partial to the George C. Scott version. We own it. It's very faithful to the story and very well cast and acted. I love Patrick Stewart as an actor, but did not like that version of The Christmas Carol. So out of the 3 you listed I'd pick the 1951 version.

:grouphug: So sorry for your loss. :(

:grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and your friends loss and the other moms you mentioned. That happened one year at our church - there were so many miscarriages. Then a bunch of us got pregnant the following year and I was afraid to be excited because of all the losses!

As with most things, it is famine or feast for me when it comes to my cell phone! Mine is old and dying, plus my carrier is requiring me to get a new phone. I didn't have any money to replace it, but I now I have 3 options & they all come with complications! 1. Dh's friend gave me a used iPhone 3G; 2. My carrier (Boost Mobile) is offering a free refurbished phone, though I don't know the details on that yet, and 3. my sister is offering to buy me a new phone for my BD, though I don't know her budget (probably $100 to $200). This all happened around the same time (my sister's "gift" offer came first, but it's not clear how she intends to pay for it. I mean I'm supposed to pick it out then we are supposed to work out getting me the money. She is 600 hours away. I currently have Boost Mobile w/ shrinkage which includes unlimited talk, text & data (3G I think, & after a set amount of data usage for the month, they kick you down to 2G). Option 1: I will have to switch to AT&Ts GoPhone plan (Boost does not support the iPhone) which will be $50 per month for unlimited talk & text, but no data. Option 2: Will be $50 per month for unlimited talk, text and data. In 6 months that will go down to $45 per month & in one year that will be $40 per month. That is a really nice perk with Boost Mobile. Option 3: I would stick with Boost and get an Android (don't know which one). I don't know the differences between an Android and an iPhone. I don't know which features each one has & when I try to research it on the internet, it gets confusing. I use talk & text a lot. I would use data if I had it, for directions, movies times, facebook, email, etc. when I am out and about or waiting for ds at his games and practices. I would also want to use my new phone as an organizer: calendar, to do list, etc. and to play music. And I would like to sync it w/ my computer which uses Windows. I'd like to stick with Boost because they have the best deal that I know of in my area. If you know of any others, please let me know. If I decide to go with an android, do I get the free refurbished one or do I let my sister buy me a new one? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she has been through the ringer financially & I feel so badly taking her money. She said she has it set aside but still, things are very tight for her & she does not have a good job. She was just homeless a few months ago. I don't feel right accepting her gift when I can get a free phone. But she has some pride and might be offended that I turned her gift down. The deal from Boost has a deadline, but I dont' know what it is. Their website is not always very informative and sometimes their customer service isn't very helpful. I do still have to call them. But once I do make the switch, I hardly never need customer service and I haven't had any problems with their service. I would love your input and suggestions. This whole thing has me stressed out. Thanks! Sherri

Wow, Mandy. That must be shocking. I think once the shock wears off, ask yourself what you want to do. I think it's important for you to decide what you want to do and what you expect. You are an adult, you have a right to do what you want (or not do whatever you don't want to do) in this regard as long as you wouldn't intentionally hurt someone. If you want to know about your sibling and your sibling wants to know about the family, then make contact. Just know what you expect going into it and what you're willing to offer or not - what your boundaries are. It may be the beginning of a beautiful relationship, it may not. I have a half sibling that I only met 2x and the second time was at my birth father's funeral. I don't think either one of us has an interest in a relationship, but there is also not bad blood between us. We are just strangers. 2 of my other 3 siblings are half, but we grew up together and I am very close to one of them. So you just never know. As far as "confronting" your father, I wouldn't confront him per se, but if you want to know his version of things, if you want to know his story about this child. If he tells you great, if he doens't, you have to be okay with that too. I'll be very curious to know what you do and how it turns out!

We have no money. Literally. I have no gas in my tank & dh can't give me any money for gas. He has a part time job. That's it. My son turns 14 tomorrow. Usually on his BD day I make him a special dinner & we'll have a cake & give him a gift. (Last year no gift). Then the following weekend we throw a friend party for him with 6 or more kids either at home or we'll take them out. Years ago we did Chuck Cheese or bowling parties, but the last 4 years dh has been unemployed/underemployed. Tomorrow ds has youth group, so I'm making him a special breakfast & lunch. No gift. He really looks forward to his friend parties, especially since he is any only child. Well now that he's getting older, I feel like a home party will be a real drag for the kids, esp. since we live in a tiny apartment & it's cold outside! Our home is okay to have snacks in & open gifts, but there's no room for any games or activities. Last year we had unseasonably warm weather so we had a photo scavenger hunt outside & played "Mafia" and "Bop it" inside. But the boys are so much bigger now, just in this last year! Also, my carpet is disgusting & I can't afford to have it cleaned. I mean it's really gross. Our sofa is literally falling apart & stinks. Can't afford a new one or to get it cleaned/reuphostered. I know the boys won't care, but the parents will. Ds is so sweet & insists we can have the party at home & they can just play Airsoft outside, no matter how cold it is. (Even though we are in an apartment we have a yard & woods behind our building). But it's been in the low 40s, if we're lucky. Obviously I don't have the party planned yet at all, so it's not going to be this weekend. I have money for food, but no money for a gift for him, paper goods, balloons, or prizes. Am I just being a party pooper? Any ideas?

It took me over an hour to vote. I live in a small town & went in the middle of the day. There were only about 8 people in line in front of me, yet it took about 45 minutes just to get my ballot. About 10 minutes to vote, then another 20 minutes wtg for them to fix the machine that we put our ballots in. What's up with all the long lines being reported around the country??? I don't recall that being a problem in past elections. In my precinct they did things differently than in the past. In past elections we showed our id, verified our address & signed a book or sheet & got our ballot, filled it out & fed it into a machine. Today I had to filll out a small form called an "Application to Vote" which asked for my name, address & signature & show that along with my id at one table. At the next table I gave my id & form to a worker who checked me off on a laptop, gave a number to the worker handing out the ballots, the ballot lady gave her a ballot number, then I got my ballot. Filled it out, fed it to the machine and was done.