Clarita
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Posts posted by Clarita
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Oh my the halftime show. Could they not get the younger entertainers/musicians to do halftime?
The Rock's intro I thought was really entertaining. Since we are in a pandemic there isn't anyone to explain all that was going on in the game so the game itself wasn't the most riveting for our family. It seemed like a fun game because the score stayed pretty close.
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14 hours ago, Lecka said:
For us, when I have enforced a rule like this (aka something I think is stupid), one of two things happens.
One, I see it has its positives and it grows on me.
Two, my husband sees it’s stupid and then he feels like we gave it a try and can move on to trying something else.
We haven’t turned out to have anything where — we stuck with something stupid for a long time.
This is how we deal with it in our house, except we are more half and half on making stupid rules. or parenting fails.
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3 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:
We had to patch the garage wall several times because soccer balls hit it, but I couldn't really imagine how to say 'Hey, don't play soccer in the yard' so instead we just fixed the walls.
I feel like I have rules in the house just for throwing. This is the number one reason there is not "yes" space for my kids. My eldest is a boy and from a young age no throwing in the house was a rule. At age 5 he can only throw inside the batting cage.
My husband is all about "chores" and I'm all about not making them chores as much as everyone chipping in to make sure our household stays functional.
As for allowance I don't know what we'll end up doing. My kids "work" as toy testers and the compensation we get I let them use at their discretion.
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10 hours ago, wathe said:
IUD's, injections (depo-provera), and implantable are probably the closest to "fool-proof" for teens, in that, once they are in place, they are passive. Birth control pills next best - they only work if you remember to take them everyday, but don't have to worry about them in the moment. Less reliable are methods that need to be used in the moment (spermicide plus condoms), and the very least reliable are those that rely on the partner to use in the moment (condoms)
I thought they don't recommend IUD for people who haven't already gotten pregnant before. I didn't like the pill at all and then my insurance changed and made me jump through hoops for the pill-lite which I was using, and my OB still didn't tell me about IUD until after my first.
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My husband and I do not undermine each other's rules. If he or I find a rule that the other made is unreasonable we talk to each other about it. After an agreement has been made then (together) tell the kids about the change in rule.
Although I'm the main care-taker of the children and I do allow the grandparents and my husband to be more laxed when they are doing the care-taking. Mostly because I feel like I see them all day I get a bunch of good times so I don't feel as bad being the meanie bad guy. I do think it's much harder for the parent who don't get as much opportunity for good times to be the bad guy. My kids are young so perhaps ask me again in a few years.
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7 hours ago, BookMamaLade said:
That's probably the real issue - teaching him to stick with something that isn't so easy.
Teach this through play. Just don't readily offer help when he is struggling with a plaything. Any building toy or toy that requires building (like anything with tracks or legos), don't help him so quickly realize his plans. Encourage him to try his ideas (as long as you are comfortable safety-wise), even if you think it's not going to work at all. Just say "I don't know how I would make that happen, you should try."
My son is into sports or running around with ball things. For us this is where he learns to stick with challenging things. He likes to throw balls (or anything really) set up something for him to throw at, increase the distance or reduce the target when he gets good.
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5 minutes ago, BookMamaLade said:
It doesn't come as easy for him as math does. That's probably the real issue - teaching him to stick with something that isn't so easy.
It sounds a lot like my son. Just gently get him to fluency in CVC words - let him sit there for a while. If he is good at math it can mean he's good at spotting patterns. If he's good at that then just watching you show him how you sound things out and figure out words, he will speed through the phonics lessons once he's "ready".
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I was at this point in the fall with my 5 year old.
Here was the advice that really worked for me in the fall. (You know who you are if you were the ones to give these golden nuggets; it's all jumbled in my head so it's hard for me to give credit.)
- Phonics lessons don't have to happen everyday. You don't have to move forward everyday. (I think someone suggested 2-3 times a week).
- Start phonics lessons when CVC words are fluent. Meaning he doesn't have to sound out most CVC words.
In the mean time do lots of read aloud, get beginner books with BIG font. Occasionally when you see a word in the wild that he may be able to read (doesn't have to be CVC but with all sounds he knows) pretend like you have a hard time sounding it out and ask for his help. If he helps great; if he doesn't then sound it out yourself (if it's in a book run your finger along the bottom or cover up the letters to the left - whatever you are comfortable with). Work on rhyming and counting syllables. Rhyming is going to really help him get fluent. Counting syllables is going to help him figure out long words (which won't happen in the phonics lessons for a while, but could help him read more exciting words like dinosaur names before then).
This past fall, a phonics lesson was we would sound out a word like d-o-g that's all my son could handle, so forget half a page of anything.
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20 hours ago, wintermom said:
Just out of curiosity, for the sports you watch on the streaming who is doing the commentating?
The one I watched has zero commentary on Peacock. It has the score and the name of the athlete and the country flag. When I watched ski jumping you even get to watch the skiers scoot back and forth on the bench waiting for appropriate wind conditions. The announcing is just the official Olympic announcement.
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My mom in hindsight and during I thought was a fantastic mom during my teenage years. She gave me excellent clothing advice. She would separate out whether it was a piece of clothing that she felt no one would look good in or whether I just didn't look good in it. So, for clothes that just didn't appeal to her tastes she would say I don't like baggy pants, I don't think they look good on anyone.
For things that she just didn't think look good on me, she would point out exactly where the issues were, and we would try to fix it together. She wasn't the best at giving me high self-esteem about my physical appearance, however she made sure to teach me that clothes should work for me not the other way around. If something didn't look flattering on me; it wasn't my fault I didn't look good in it, it was the weird design/cut/sizing of the article of clothing in question (it might be for someone but not for me).
FWIW she wasn't the best mom when I was a child.
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Our zoo makes a Portobello mushroom burger that is amazing. It's a balsamic marinated portobello mushroom grilled a little so it's hot with Provolone Cheese and Pesto just substitute the buns with a crusty rustic bread. I suppose you could substitute the portobello mushroom with smaller sliced mushrooms, but it would probably be messier.
Also shredded roasted beets with black beans smooshed together make a really good "burger" patty - just put whatever seasoning you want I do montreal steak seasoning. It's not really a burger taste per-se but it's yummy and holds together.
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Discovery channel has a few good shows about forensics. I used to watch "The New Detectives" at that age. If I recall it's not graphic (in terms of showing the violence like a scripted show), but the actual storyline is usually a murder or violent crime. There is also "Unsolved Mysteries" those would be unsolved crimes whereas "The New Detectives" were mostly solved.
I think all those shows is going to be hard to exclude heavy and sexual crimes (there is a lot of lover's quarrels, abusive relationships). You can look up shows about real heists. Heists are just people stealing things of value and in real life are usually not violent. I think the scripted TV shows are generally more graphic (visually) than the documentary style shows.
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We had to do the comcast dance last week (you know switch plans, so you don't get overcharged) and it came with the online subscription thing. It's kind of great watching the events in full not just the US, not just the winning teams. but also it gets slow waiting for wind conditions... instead of watching person after person in quick succession (we were watching ski jumping? and figure skating). I'll admit without the commentary I'm a bit lost on the figure skating. I guess they can do easier "skills" and points get docked but I have no idea when they do; it all looks impressive to me.
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2 hours ago, Roadrunner said:
Here that’s what is driving the issue. It’s most definitely the factor. If I lived somewhere else, it probably won’t be.
I live within commutable distance to the silicon valley, yes there are a lot of tech workers trying to find livable places. I just find it odd that people find it OK to essentially blame or look at with distain a bunch of employees who are also just trying to find shelter for their families/themselves. The majority of tech workers don't choose where their companies are located, and don't choose whether they get to work remotely or not. It's fine to blame tech companies for "needing" to be so close to each other (which is a problem),or not investing in adequate housing or whatever, but to feel OK shaming the workers is what I am against.
2 hours ago, Roadrunner said:And people fight affordable housing units. Nobody wants them in their neighborhood as if they weren’t people.
Which in some cases doesn't even mean an actual poor person moves in. I remember in my parents' old neighborhood this was fighting against having people who made $80,000 a year move in.
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4 minutes ago, Roadrunner said:
Exactly. Add teachers, office workers or basically anybody who isn’t into tech.
Please stop with the tech worker blame. Tech workers make a decent living like doctors, surgeons, lawyers, CPA's, etc. Seriously a majority of tech workers have trouble affording a house in CA near their work, many are dual income families. Granted the plight of teacher, maids, fast food workers are harder please stop making it seem like all tech workers are Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerburg.
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48 minutes ago, Roadrunner said:
But CA also has a massive issue with over regulation when it comes to building.
CA has massive policy issues with housing. Based on things happening in my neighborhood I'm not convinced it's a bunch of rental companies buying up single family homes that is the issue. Prop 13 (our property taxes *don't go up with our property rates and can be transferred to your heirs) contributes a huge amount. So, there is not an insignificant number of heirs able to continue owning a home in CA because they inherited a home from their parents with a much lower carrying cost (whether they rent it out or live in it themselves), and there are people who just hold these homes (not prudent in my opinion, but they do because the carrying cost is low and they keep seeing the potential house price going up like it's money in their pocket).
We bought our house from some heirs who held this house (sitting empty) for about 6 years, just because they didn't want to do anything with it. Also, the way prop 13 is set up all properties get this treatment, just to make this whole thing worse (although I believe heirs can only "apply" prop 13 to one of the inherited properties). So, older people would just hold on to all their homes.
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8 hours ago, DawnM said:
I wish I could say, "You want her to come, she can't stay here or eat here, so YOU figure it out!" He can't......so maybe that would be eye opening????
I think that would be a fine thing to say to him. I mean he can't, so she'll have to. Then she'll know what she's in for assuming perhaps she's a nice person and maybe he has been less than forthcoming with his condition (or he doesn't know his own capabilities).
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I would also suggest as your friends, because I would love someone to use my snow pants. I need them but also I've also used them one weekend in the 4 years I've owned them (along with my snow boots).
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23 minutes ago, KSera said:
Do you know this psychologist's qualifications? I would be looking for referrals to good neuropsychs to see when the time is right. It's especially helpful to see ones who have experience with asynchronus or 2E kids, so they don't automatically interpret a high functioning kid as not having anything that might benefit from addressing.
I work with a wide range of people from infants, children, adolescents, and adults who are struggling in their life. I can help identify why you or your child is struggling through psychological or neuropsychological assessment. I also treat people with common symptoms such as anxiety, OCD, and depression. (describtion from her website)
She was recommended to me by a friend whose kid does see her for ADD stuff (I want to say he's mild but he isn't perfectly functioning in public).
Plus, it was really hard to find available therapists for someone under 6. So, I'm Ok with let's try some things and see where we are. She did keep the door open if we see more concerning things or things don't improve.
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4 hours ago, Spy Car said:
In case you get stuck with some round roast (Eye of Round/Top Round/Bottom Round) which isn't unlikely, I have a tip.
Interesting I'll have to try with my "rump roast". It looks like a similar area.
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1 hour ago, KSera said:
’m not a psychologist, but having parented a variety of different kinds of kids, a couple of whom were emotionally intense, I really don’t know that you’re going to find that more time with other kids is going to change this particular thing. It doesn’t sound like he’s secluded without seeing any other kids, and I never found that increased exposure to other kids improved behavior.
Actually, he has been secluded. From March 2020 to June 2020 he didn't see any other kids aside from his sister in person. From June 2020 to March 2021 he saw 4 kids in total one of which was his sister. Libraries, museums, places to visit for children are just starting to open up now (in-person church didn't even start for us until Sept 2021). I mean public parks and playgrounds were closed for a few months in 2020. We live in CA in a heavy lockdown area, from what I've read about other experiences on this board.
She gave me some things to be aware of. And if I didn't see improvement or academics/focus/interactions get worse then to call her back for another evaluation. She did say she didn't think a test or anything like that would be helpful at this time because of his age (at 5 years old there is a brain transition) and he is just coming out of an abnormal situation.
1 hour ago, KSera said:Some psychologists have a very schooly perspective where they think daily peer group socialization is a necessity from a young age and any problem in a homeschooled kid is because they aren’t in that environment (never mind that most of their clientele is from that environment, so it’s clearly not a panacea).
I offered up the information that I was homeschooling and would consider sending him to private school. She felt like I could absolutely provide enough people interaction doing homeschool (it's actually a popular option in my area - I live near some pretty bad school districts). She felt that the previous heavy lockdown was the big problem for him and he's still reeling from it.
1 hour ago, Innisfree said:So, how would the pandemic be the cause? Maybe just by increasing overall stress in the family? I could see that. But I don't see it as an issue caused by a friend moving, or cured by more friend time.
The thing is that she feels like he may not have a regulation issue because he is social and functional outside of his "safe spaces"(place in which he feels people there will love him no matter what). I mean he is 5 so he should still be learning some regulation skills. The lack of ability to calm down she thinks could be in general discontent/stress and being 5 learning regulation and expressing emotion.
So, the pandemic meant he lost all his close friends in Mar 2020 (he was 3 so zoom meetings with friends didn't feel real to him). Also, more social time does have a positive impact in his behavior. January started up and activities began again, and things are much better than Dec. break time. I mean I don't have a lot of data to go from, but more social time has made things better.
Yes in general he is an intense kid and I did read The Explosive Child. A lot of the things she suggested (that I already knew about) came from that book.
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Update: I finally got a hold of a psychologist. We spoke for 30 min+. She feels a lot of the issues stem from pandemic. She outlined what normal should look like for a 3-5 year old. He should have more than one friend to see on a regular basis. He should have lots of friends, older friends, younger friends, and friends his age. She thinks this plays a major part in his issues. He should have been able to find a friend or friends to "replace" the friend that left for Germany, but that didn't happen. We'll keep monitoring but she feels that his problems will go away if he has more socialization with peers and more peers. She also gave me some pointers on how to deal with the tantrums (a lot we were already doing but one thing we have not was praising him in the middle of a tantrum when he demonstrated little actions of calming down). If he takes a breath between screams we encourage and say good job for taking a breath to guide him to find his own way of calming down.
So we are doing everything possible to get him more kids to hang out with. Staying later after his PE class, going to all the field trips/school days our homeschool charter offers, essentially going to any social activities we can safely do.
The psychologist said that he is too good at interacting with other people and to turn it off outside of "safe" spaces for her to say he has autism or ADHD. At any rate, she is hesitant to give him one of those diagnosis without giving him an experience that is normal to his age group.
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On 2/2/2022 at 12:58 PM, Roscoe said:
So it's like an Elements>historical approach. Have any of you heard of a math curriculum like this?
Historically speaking it took people a long time to come up with the decimal system ("place value" system). Prior to that they used a "tallying" system of writing numbers (think Roman numerals). The problem lies in that they were already doing things like multiplication and division, so most arithmetic and perhaps other things as well (geometry also) had already been developed. Arithmetic problems and stuff would have been solved procedurally differently using different counting systems.
I think historically (not a historian here just shooting the breeze) math was developed based on problems that needed to be solved. So, it didn't always develop elegantly from simple to gradually more complex. I definitely think there are moments when the people who came before us went "Whoa this is so much easier than the way we've been doing it!" Let's move to this new method, place value being one of the ones I know about.
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My favorite chuck recipe is one where I make roast with a chuck roast using the pressure cooker because I always forget to defrost. Then I pull out the meat in shreds into a skillet and sautee that. Essentially making the meat part of a birria. Everyone gobbles it up, if you get high quality meat seriously doesn't really matter what was in the chili/roast I've done just onion, salt and the meat and it came out amazing (I forgot to put in the other spices).
Although chuck is also amazing as ground beef. One day I'll have the foresight to thaw and ground some.
I still have yet to find a recipe I love for Rump Roast.
Our butcher calls us and asks us how we would like each primal cut. (how many pounds per roast, how thick do we want the steaks, etc.)
Pfizer’s depressing news for 6 months to 5 year olds
in The Chat Board
Posted
I'm so bummed for you. My kids have not seen my mom in person for going on 4 years now. They see her online but it's not the same interaction. WE *don't really have a choice in our case because my mom lives across an ocean from us. (*I know we technically do but everyone involved thinks it's too irresponsible.)However I totally feel like they don't know her, and she doesn't know them at all and it saddens me.