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TexasProud

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Everything posted by TexasProud

  1. Yes, I think you have nailed this exactly. I mean I do know they are major transitions, but yeah, I do feel like there should be an easier path. And somehow if not, I am doing it wrong. But you saying it is ok to be hard and it just is hard with no way to fix this feels really really hopeless and incredibly horrible. The person I talked to yesterday told me how well she thought I was doing and how many strategies I already use, but that this is just hard. So there is nothing I can do. If this is good, then why doesn't it feel that way? Or you just have to feel sucky sometimes and get used to it. I don't know. I am not making any sense, I know. But yes, you nailed exactly how I feel.
  2. Yeah, well there are those of us whose injection site swells who get fevers of over 104 with the whooping cough vaccine. So yeah...
  3. Yes. Absolutely. I know we have told no one about the biopsy and if it is cancer, will take some time to process, then tell our kids and other family, and then our larger world. I know he is a public figure, but he is also a man with a family who needs time to process alone without the world. His being a public figure doesn't negate private needs. It just doesn't.
  4. I know and it only creates more anxiety for me. I mean, if as the person said in the other threat Covid has caused all of these cancers to be worse.... Well, we have all had Covid. We are all ticking time bombs and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. I mean, yeah, get checkups, mammograms, etc. But so many people I know did everything right, did all of the tests and still their cancer was found stage 4. it is getting more and more common and more and more unsettling... It makes it hard to breath sometimes.
  5. Thanks Regenetude. I appreciate it!
  6. And just a warning guys on my state of mind at the present time: I am getting increasingly nervous about the biopsy as it gets closer. I have done well at putting it out of my mind, but it is here. Trying VERY hard not to think about all of the possible outcomes. The legal issue with my husband's previous is coming to a head and is really stressful. Still so angry that their actions are causing all of this mess and it didn't have to happen if they had just used their heads. One of them called him in Africa wanting him to fix it after months of my husband warning them this would happen and when he did try to negotiate, he was told by the practice to stay out of it. But now he should fix it.... I am so beyond livid. We have a lawyer who is negotiating for us, because our interests don't lie with the previous partners. But what a mess. And it hit the fan while he is still overseas. My husband isn't doing great healthwise and I worry this additional stress will make it worse. Again, not my circus. Not my monkeys. So yeah, eating junk food because I can and at least I get something for me and binging hours of Chicago Fire. I know it isn't healthy, but yeah...
  7. All right, so I am pretty much doing what I need to then? I am ok?
  8. I wouldn't exactly. And your last paragraph is exactly what I am trying to figure out. How do I keep myself healthy so that it isn't so hard to re-establish the habit. I get so tired of being able to walk 3-4 miles easily and then suddenly walking 1.5 miles feels like my legs are made of lead. Yes, in a couple of weeks I am back up to that level. But I just want it to be consistently easy. To consistently drink the right amount of water to keep me healthy and from subsituting food instead of the water. (I am constantly hungry these days no matter how much I eat. I am never full.)
  9. Yes, I know these. I didn't list all the ones. So water: I keep it by me at all times. Appealing: Drinking is just something you do because you have to. It isn't something to enjoy. I may experiment with teas, I have a ton there, but they are just drinks. I am not sure how to make it rewarding. I have attached it to the coffee drinking. Making myself try to get down 8 ounces before I have my coffee. Walking 1. Not sure how to make it convienient other than when alone I don't make myself go somewhere, I just walk on the rural road Ithat is by my house. 2. I enjoy talking to people when I do it. So walking with my husband and with my friends has definitely helped me do it. Podcasts are fine. But again, when I am alone it is hard to get myself to do it. 3. What to attach the walking to I am not sure...
  10. Yes, I know, but in this rural area there are not that many groups. When I was home more and bored, I looked on the places you guys told me to look then and no groups like all of you talked about existed. If I lived where my MIL and SIL's lived, I would EASILY be able to find TONS of groups to join and things to do. There were tons in that area when I looked. Just none in mine.
  11. Yes, and I am trying to lean into this. I am trying to figure out what the right routines and goals are for this season, but it feels hard. I feel untethered and a bit lost.
  12. Interesting. How does it know if you do something or not? Is it linked to your watch or fitbit or something? Because I would lie.
  13. Interesting. Nope. Not at all. I will try it, though it will feel strange trying to stop and tell myself. This is fun. You are enjoying this. I feel good when I check things off of a list.
  14. The closest YMCA is an hour and fifteen minutes away, so not feasible. I take both a D supplement and a Calcium with D supplement, so it is probably fine. I go for my yearly checkup next month.
  15. If it is, I really wonder if there has been an uptick in this. I know 3 people with it: One died within a few months and two were recently diagnosed and are not doing well. It just feels so prevalent.
  16. Ok, someone else mentioned a straw. And yes, I have a container with a straw that holds 24 ounces of water. I would try to drink 3 of them throughout the day when I was doing well. But that is what I mean. I was in the habit of using it. I didn't think about it. But then we travel. I am in Africa or whatever. And I don't think about using it.... To make habits stick, they say you need to make them small and as easy as possible until they become automatic. But I change so much nothing is automatic. Sigh... I have an Apple Watch : If I walk, I easily hit my 11,000 steps. Today I already have 8,000. But every other day since I got back from Kenya I have only done 2,000-3,000. In Africa I got 11,000 to 15,000 steps a day with the equivalent of climbing 30-45 flights of stairs. It is similar in Honduras. On the RV trips, we hike nearly every day and I normally have 12,000 to 18,000 steps. But home alone, 2,000.
  17. Yes, that happens with every single doctor I have and my gynecologist. But this is a separate entity. I have gotten no calls, no texts, no emails. No paperwork. I find it very, very strange. It is with the breast center at the hospital. I am supposed to go into the emergency room entrance and register. So strange. My husband thinks it is strange as well.
  18. It isn't water. It is just drinking period. The only thing I tend to drink is coffee and water. I just don't drink much. Yeah, I HATE artificial sweetner. Can't stand the taste. Never drink diet drinks. They are gross. We don't stock or buy soft drinks. So it isn't that I am trying to replace something with water. It is just trying to get hydration. I tend to eat less if I drink more water, which is another bonus. 🙂
  19. OK, a couple of thoughts: No one is telling me that I can't feel things or want things or anything like that. But I am either alone or with my spouse for the most part these days. As I mentioned before, he is trying SUPER hard to make sure I get to do what I want to do. I will try the shower thing. But I do a ton of stuff with my body with several groups I am with, especially the Table of the Beloved with Summer Joy Gross. Here is a video of an example: Ok, I have tried the video you shared several times before and it doesn't make me shake. I guess maybe I am doing it wrong?
  20. Never heard of this. Off to google.
  21. Phoning friends won't work because all of my friends work and most have children at home in tons of activities. And remember our conversation awhile back about talking on the phone. No one I know does that anymore. Podcasts. Yes. I did that today. I try to walk some without anything sometimes as a spiritual discipline. But yes, most of the time I listen to podcasts if I am by myself.
  22. OOOh. I really like the way you organized this. I will tweak it because I don't agree with all of it. But I really like the framework and it goes with @scholastica said and that is what I cannot figure out. So let me try my take: 1. At home with spouse: Walking works pretty well. Not perfect. But we generally walk a lot if the weather isn't horrible. So I should probably just be content with the good but not perfect. Water: It depends on weather or not this works because like I am so far down right now. I am having trouble even drinking 16 ounces of water. It is a slog. And by the time I travel in a little less than 2 weeks, I won't be up to my goal. 2. RV Trips Honestly, I don't have trouble with either walking or drinking water. 3. Mission Trips: Exercise isn't a problem at all. Lots of stairs and other walking. So it is fine. Water is an issue, but I don't know what to do with it. 4. At home alone or traveling alone which isn't all that often Huge problem on both counts. Eating is a huge issue as well. I have no one to stop me so I eat a ton of junk and sweetened drinks. No one is here to see so who cares if I walk. So, I need a system for being alone. That said, it will be 2 weeks now. Then not again until this summer when he goes on some mission trips without me.
  23. Ok, this is the issue. I am not home enough to belong to any groups. That is part of my issue. If I were home, I would do what you suggest in a flash. But here is my schedule for just the next 3 months: Here at home until Feb 15th Trip to Indiana Feb 16- Feb 26th ( Part of which I will be alone, last 5 days hubby will join me as he flies there from Africa) Leading a ladies retreat March 1st- 3rd Short nearby camping trip to try out the new camper March 14-16 April 1st- May 6th RV trip to Indiana. Going to various state parks in between shows, recitals, graduation, etc. for our daughter May 24- June 8th Honduras Mission Trip
  24. Ok, so strange. I finally called back myself. They tried to call me and it wouldn't put them through to my number... Weird. Anyway, I am on the schedule for Wednesday, and I don't need to do anything but go into the entrance of the hospital. I still think this is so strange that I have gotten no paperwork at all for this. No confirmation emails or anything.
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