You are are on the right track!!! Speaking our truth is so hard. Especially IRL. Places like this, even when they get intense, are a wonderful place to begin the process. You can speak your truth to me any time you want!!!!

Thank you. I could never have said this so well.

I think this is at the heart of what I am talking about...or asking? I also live in California. I am more in line with what the ideas of majority of CA but I live in an area that is predominantly of the minority thought and I too come up against California "tolerance" where I am left speechless. So it doesn't matter. We both still have to deal with "tolerance". That word cracks me up by the way. Thank you for my new favorite phrase. The vast polarization and intolerance seems so counterproductive.

I agree with this. And i remain in relationship with several people because I love them even though I abhor them continually pushing their beliefs and belittling mine.I do this because they are my parents or long time family friends and I have found balance. I take space when I need to and I help guide conversation away from landmines. I am not willing to do this with everyone. Not because I disagree with their beliefs but because they shove them down my throat. I have acquaintances and friends who have very different beliefs. I have a gay daughter and there is a possibility that some of these acquaintances think that she is going to hell...I don't know for sure and I may be pleasantly surprised but they have never said anything and treat her and me with respect so I can exist with them. I'm very sensitive, but I'm old and have finally learned to recognize in myself when things "feel big" versus "are big", so I've done the self-reflection and am only questioning the big stuff in this post. But self-reflection is always a good idea.

Amen to this! Bubbles are the way of life around here. It's ludicrous to me that we are having versions of the "world is flat" conversation over and over again. I still hear that sexism, sexual harassment, racism etc don't exist. It's never that blunt but they always side with the perpetrator and not the victim so as far as I am concerned they live in their own utopian bubble or they just don't give a darn. It's very hard to continue to claim I live in a democratic society.

I've always been a proponent of finding friends not organizations. I have no problems in dance studios or places where we have a common goal, but things like church or homeschool support groups have always been challenging. It seems to me that people used to be more open to different backgrounds or beliefs. Everything is so polarized now. How does that get fixed?

It's so interesting to me. I also live in CA and am more in line with common political thought but I am no where near the more "religious" thought in my area.

Exactly. Covid has definitely exacerbated already existing issues. I don't need a lot of people in my life, just a few that are open to dialog. My husband and I have one couple friend who are diametrically opposed to us on most issues but they don't judge and we have dialogued but have plenty of things in common so it works. But I have not found a lot of people who can do that. My young adult kids are talking about the same issues.

I am an introvert and so are 2 or my kids, but we still feel community is important. What happened to community being open and encouraging wherever you are on the continuum?

This is how I wish it worked in my area, but it doesn't. Homeschooling for example, tends to be ultra religious or ultra political. LOL I am catholic but was never "christian" enough for the religious groups and I am liberal but Catholic so therefore it was assumed I wasn't liberal enough. How about just getting to know me and over time we can discuss where we stand on issues. Felt like there was always some litmus test. And people definitely judge you when you say you're Catholic but pro-choice and have a gay daughter 🤪

This is exactly what I have been trying to wrap my head around. It's sad but I am finding many groups are no longer looking for truth. They find their side and stick to it come hell or high water. Now that my kids are grown, this is no longer an issue. I just leave, but it was much harder when I was trying to find a home for my homeschooling family.

I too have no interest in poking at the stuff I disagree with. I do enjoy meaningful understanding of both sides of ideas but I have not found that possible. Especially in areas involving Christianity. I can definitely do "live and let live" but increasingly find that the opposing thought doesn't want to do the same. They want people who thing the same way. Maybe I'm to old and just have no energy left for smiling and staying quiet...rinse and repeat. LOL I don't feel a need to change anyones mind but I don't like being constantly challenged or "shamed"

How do you stay involved in an organization in a true and authentic way when much of that organization disagrees with you on fundamental issues? As things get more polarized, and will only get worse as we near the election, how do you stay involved in any meaningful way? Whether it be homeschool groups/ church / social clubs; anything that gathers on a regular basis and has a social component to it. I see many posts here where people say they don't agree with their "____" but stay because of the great things it provides their family. If the organization is a group where I will spend significant time but there is significant "group think", I struggle with staying. I get exhausted being the one person who feels differently on significant issues and I end up just leaving so that I, or my family, don't have to fake it or hide what we believe. I've left several homeschool groups/social organizations over the years because of it. Haven't left my church yet, but that's because its generally big enough so it can house many trains of thought..and they are my employer 😉

Based on what is happening in So. Cal, we are no where near this. In many areas around me, you can only be tested if you have symptoms and that is after you wait in line for 4-6 hours. There is no way they are catching people with early/mild symptoms. No one wants to wait in line for a test when your symptoms are manageable and there is the possibility they will run out of tests before you get there or they will refuse to test due to insufficient test kits and you may not be sick enough to warrant use of a kit. Plus as of 2 weeks ago, it was taking 9 days to get results back. So the sick person may stay home until results return, but the asymptomatic or healthy family members can't wait. They need to work to pay the rent. It's a mess. California was starting to stabilize last week, but LA is not. Haven't looked at numbers today....need more coffee before I can tackle that.

My school hasn't sent out any guidelines...at all. They told the parents that they purchased thermometers, set up hand sanitizer stations and plexiglass at the secretary's desk 🤪 I am not saying that they DON'T have a plan but if they do, shouldn't they at least communicate said plan to their faculty?!?!? I don't think we are going back F2F because I've seen the letter from our Archdiocese but the last email from our principal (same day as Arch email) says we are hoping to be F2F. I'm sure she's not wanting to panic parents into dropping from the school but maybe a little note to the faculty?!?! Sorry, I'm frustrated. I don't want to be in class. I love my school kids but we are in a hotspot and I have my family to think about....my son is T1 diabetic. A little heads up from the admin would be lovely. I don't handle unknowns well...can you tell?!?!

I'm so sorry. I wasn't aware of your xh's situation. It absolutely wouldn't be a good option under those circumstances.....If you enjoyed West Wing, West Wing Weekly is a great podcast. They go episode through episode. Josh Malina was one of the characters on the show so it's fun to hear him interact with his former cast mates. It's hard to listen to some of it when we have to listen to our current president but it's good fun. They touch on a lot of politics and how our system of government works....or should work. My kids and I have really enjoyed it and learned some things 😉

Ear Hustle....It's not for the faint of heart but I have found it fascinating. It takes place in San Quentin prison. One prison resident and a Visual Artist who volunteers there discuss different topics specific to being incarcerated for long periods of time. Often lifers or long sentences. I've been shocked, queazy and amazed by what these men say. But it can be explicit so listeners beware.

I understand. 🥰 This difficult time has been trying for everyone and it's taking a lot of determination for me to be positive and not jump in the mud. Have a wonderful day!

cinnamon sugar on white bread......brings me back to my childhood. My mom didn't toast it. Just squishy wonder bread. LOL None of my west coast friends ever had it...Seems it came from my east coast roots.

Me too! I am still thrown when I see a movie that shows the NY Twin Towers, so this feeling might not go away for me. I have a couple of neighbors that I've had to STOP watching. It was driving me crazy!!! Now I just pour a glass of wine. 😇

That's wonderful. All of our decisions take so much more thought right now. It's a strange world......At some point I WILL get to see my Aunt. I just have to be patient and flexible. Not my strong suit but I've had a lot of practice these last 4 months...Have a wonderful visit!!

I'm so jealous. My aunt lives in MA and I'm way in CA. I had hoped to visit this summer but her state was a mess and now my state is a mess.....between her cancer and my son being a Type 1 diabetic I didn't feel good about going....She keeps saying her may come here when things calm down, but I'm not sure she could handle the trip. So glad your kids will get to see her!!! I'm sure it will be wonderful for her.

The flashbacks on FaceBook were really hard for me. My hubby and I had such a nice anniversary trip last summer (25 years woohoo). Those pics keep showing up and it's painful to look at. We had planned to take a trip with the kids this summer. They're getting older and I wanted one last family trip before they all get out of college.....sigh. I miss the old life too

I'm so sorry. I have an aunt who I'm incredibly close to who also has stage 4 ovarian and I'm so afraid that this is coming for her also. She is getting much more tired and struggling with the immunotherapy..It sucks. I'll send up a prayer for all of you.

I'm admittedly watching a lot of tv and reading books. I'm on summer break and just trying to destress from our new life. But, every time I watch an old show or read a book, I get distracted by images of no social distancing, sharing food, large crowds, packed venues.....I can't concentrate on my bingeing!!!!! That's all...just an observation. 😜