I really appreciate your understanding of my baby-filled body :)

not sure if this makes me lazy or just an avoider but I was trying to not set her up to lie. when we wiped some and she wiped some, it made her want to lie so that she would not have to wipe. i thought by making her responsible for all of it, we would not have the lying issue...seemed logical to me...? am i missing something

I know that disciplining is part of training but in this instance, when I am speaking of training my 18mo I am talking about REALLY concentrating on when he does well at obeying right away with a happy heart and verbalizing and b/c I am doing that, frankly, I have forgotten (guilty!) to encourage dd2 as much as I used to!

VERY good point...it's hard to see past where I am - I don't want her to even be 3! I want her to go back to being 2 - it was SOO much better/sweeter/obedient,etc. :)

among all the absurdity (not that there was much), there was some GREAT advice and again, I really appreciate it. It's always good to hear about something from someone who has been there and from a different angle. Obviously I have been mulling over this a lot recently and there are some things I realized that you guys would not know but it helped (along w/your advice) me see things a bit clearer: I have been giving her a lot more responsibility lately and I think that may be part of her resistance. (one example is that she used to wipe when she peed but we wiped when she pooped - well, she started lying -saying she pooped when she didn't - b/c she didn't want to wash her hands (wiping means washing hands) so now she has to do both and she doesn't like that). I also have been concentrating more on training her brother in obedience (he's 18 mo, 'nuff said) and so I have been praising her less for obedience and more just expecting it - thank you for reminding me that BOTH are important! :) lots more was said that was helpful, just wanted to say thanks again :)

your post was VERY helpful - I'll just highlight a few parts that struck me (I had never thought about it that way kind of things) thank you again, really, even with some of the mean and outrageous comments, these make it worth it to post some personal questions :001_smile:

thanks for those of you who posted helpful things - I've been on the board long enough to know that what I type is MANY TIMES misunderstood (*not* blaming, just saying, apparently I'm not good at typing my point)... anyway, thanks again for the helpful tips - sometimes the little things help the most - and the website suggestions and for the PMs especially. when I have more time (after they go to bed), I *may* respond to more recent posts but it's getting kinda cyclical and not very nice so I may not. again, thanks! katy

VERY helpful - thank you!

okay people, STOP GIVING ADVICE! j/k mine are waking up though so I'll have to read later :) thanks to some :) I'll have to re-read many times but I have been wondering for a little while about the overly emotional child and spanking...just how it all works/or doesn't...

thank you for the reminder :)

thx

thanks for the resources

yeah, sorry, I meant I DON'T want to break her will!

thx

sorry for the poor comparison - I group obedience, submission, respect, etc. when I mention all of those things. For example, I talked back to my bosses and did not respect them (NOT GOOD) and submission to my dh is a struggle at times - I want to help my children with those things (esp. my girls)...

thank you for all of this.

by whom?

thanks for this - grace is important. I am such a non-emotional person that crying annoys me (just being real). I will try to do this from now on - thanks again :)

I never spank her when she doesn't know why - she knows exactly why every time. I don't ask her for a hug. When the spanking is over, I ask her if she wants to hug me. I would understand if she said 'no' but she always wants one and I LOVE her hugs...just wanted to clarify...

I agree it is a heart issue and that is part of my conundrum...training the heart is such a hard thing for me to grasp! I'm such a concrete person - but thank you for saying this anyway - it tells me one thing I need to do is pray for her more!

no

I tried to be careful w/my post b/c I am the worst at putting thoughts onto a post - guess I wasn't careful enough - she gets spanked 3x each time (b/c she is 3) - so let me be careful...she has disobeyed 3-4x today (it has blurred a bit) so 3x3 would be 9 times total...does that make sense? One time was b/c she ignored me when I told her to come (I asked her if she heard me and she said she did - she told me what I said). One time was when I was telling her to do something and she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about, but she did (that stubbornness right there) - in other words, she was choosing to disobey but acting innocent...the other time was when I told her to go potty (which she knows means we are getting ready to take naps) and she just sat there and cried (did not obey). I am just tired.

I'm done. Thank you - I got TONS of great advice. I am still reading but I am finding it turning into something ugly so I will not respond anymore. fwiw, NO SPANKING today...maybe yesterday was just 'one of those days' and I was afraid it would never end... Today is my birthday. I am 28 - I certainly do not have it all figured out, hence all the questions and I love learning so thank you to those who helped me realize more about myself and my daughter...I am learning more everyday. I guess that's all - thank you again, really, MANY of the posts (and all of the PMs) were EXTREMELY helpful! (surprisingly, even from people I normally do not agree fully with!)

Don't know what it's called but the refrigerator leapfrog magnets, where you put the letter in and it says "B says b, B says b, every letter makes a sound; B says b" is how (probably) my kids solidified their sounds. We would also do ABC (melissa & doug) puzzles together and I would just say something like, "That is a B. Where does the B go? Yes! B says b like b,b,boy (there is a pic of a boy where the B goes)". To 'test' dd2 before we moved on to OPG, we did Starfall.com towards the end (I am not in love w/technology at early ages though so I did hold this off until the end of her learning...).

5'9 and the shortest in my family (extended too)