I have seen it. When I have seen it, people (I see it with other people's kids, I see parents or teachers respond) respond like you do and intervene -- intervening more quickly if the other kid doesn't like it.
I think for the kids being huffy, sometimes they are still getting the message and are just huffy about it -- but hey, sometimes kids are huffy. If they are huffy in an appropriate way that is actually good for a lot of kids! If they don't go over into being huffy with inappropriate behavior.
There is "what is acceptable when you feel huffy" and some kids have to be taught that, and I think if her huffy behavior is actually acceptable you just brush it off. If it isn't you address it separately I think.
But there are "social autopsies" (I think) where they go over things later when the kid will be more receptive. It may not be a teachable moment at the time if she is a little hyper or huffy. So they would try to bring it up neutrally later and try to have that be when the explanation might stick more.
I see a low tolerance for this because I see it with non-siblings and then it is different than with a sibling. It is easier to have rules of "that's not allowed at school" or "that's not allowed with friends" and not easy with siblings.
Just for size and appropriateness reasons -- other than with siblings I thing there are some hard and fast rules for horseplay and hanging on people, that can be rules.
Maybe there are some other people where she could horseplay, but if there are people she just shouldn't horseplay with, I have seen a chart where they have circles and talk about different groups of people and when (if ever) horseplay could be appropriate.
If there is an activity the sibling could re-direct to if the sibling does want to play -- that is something you could brainstorm with the sibling. It can be easier to change like that, instead of just stop.
We have a dog and a lot of times my kids can re-direct to playing with the dog, getting the dog a treat, or taking the dog outside. Those are my go-to redirects. Siblings can suggest a game sometimes if they actually want to play and don't want to be left alone.
I am stricter than a lot of parents bc I have a daughter who doesn't need to be pestered, and so there is a different situation of him pestering a smaller child.
But he doesn't really do it like I see some kids who are just happy go-lucky and exuberant and it gets into horseplay. My son would be a little more aggressive and so I was more strict with "she said no that means no" and I don't think that is the best way to be for every situation. But that is how I tend to be bc it really frustrates the siblings and my daughter is not as strong as he is, so he has got to play nicely with her. (I mean I think being overly strict doesn't necessarily teach the right way to act or the right way to compromise to play in a way that the sibling doesn't mind, and it can just seem mean -- so it's not helpful sometimes -- I don't mean I'm not in favor of "stop means stop.")
Edit: I think it makes a big difference what the genders are.
A boy acting like this to a girl is really not acceptable. A boy acting like this to a boy is different. I have dealt with this (not really the same thing, I think, though) with boy-with-girl and that is just not okay. Boy-with-boy is a lot more okay, but there is a lot of need for compromise and noticing what the other person wants to do, so it is hard, but it's not the same as a boy bothering a girl, touching a girl who has signaled she wants him to stop, etc.
Edited by Lecka, 08 October 2017 - 08:33 PM.