Emotional/Behavior Problems Help what is this??

[bdjjmj]

So my very happy Son has become not so happy. This has been developing for a year and I cant deny it anymore, that I am wondering if there is something really going on here. You can see his diagnosis in my Siggy but his primary is Intellectual Disability IQ of 40, Apraxia and SPD. He just turned 10. I am just trying to figure out what is going on with him as he has developed lots of strange angry new behavior in the last year

 

1) When he wakes up in the morning, he will show up in our room happily say hello and then storm off angry and stay that way for 30 mins. Whine and slat his body around. Disappear to his room and come out naked, ask to take a shower and then storm off saying he dosent want to take one. All of this is totally unprovoked, he just got out of bed nothing could have offeneded him yet

 

2) He will ask for a drink or a snack and then when you go to hand it to him he will in a whining voice repedaly say "I dont want it, I dont want it, I dont want it"

 

3)Randomly storming off to this room and throwing himself in his bed repeating in a whining voice "I tired, I tired, I tired:

 

4) If he gets offened, or told no, or put in time out he will sit there in another room and repeadtly say things like "I kill you, I burn you, I dont like you, I hurt my brother" . He dose have echolia, and I dont feel like he would actually do these things...he cannot even really grasp what they mean or the finality of the actions. On the flip side it seems very messed up to just allow this and ignore it???? When he says it, it is like he is saying his internal dialog outloud.

 

He seems like he is losing it in these moments. I am just trying to figure out if this is part of ID, if there is a seperate mental health thing going on, if it is hromones??????? Anyone have similar experiences or ideas?????

[sbgrace]

My 10 year old, with different special needs, is struggling with emotional control more than ever since preschool anyway. He's melting down a lot over very small things, and everything just feels on edge with him. I'm thinking it might be hormones here, but it's concerning whatever it is.

 

A few of thoughts:

1. The morning stuff...my son has been very off emotionally in the past when blood sugar is in a certain lowish range. In those times, he would suddenly just lose it, going from fine to rage/meltdown. He also would refuse any food/drink, even when he was clearly hungry during these times. When we figured it out, I had him take a spoon of apple sauce the moment he got up, then follow with more carbs and protein for breakfast. We were careful to make sure he ate every 2.5 hours while awake as well, even if it meant carrying stuff with us everywhere. Do try to see if something to raise blood sugar first thing when he gets up and regular food helps.

 

2. We're working on emotional regulation. I've been working though  Zones of Regulation, but just bought the Mind Up curriculum, which I think might be better to start with. I think we might get further faster with it, and something about it resonates with me. I plan to start it next week.

 

3. Depression, anxiety, or both can look like anger. Does that seem possible?

[geodob]

Their is something called: 'Oppositional Defiant Disorder', which could be relevant to your son?

Where the underlying issue is with 'authority figures', and a defiance of their authority.

 

Though given the range of difficulties that he has?

I could imagine that they would make him very dependent on others?

Meaning that it would limit his developing a sense of independence and self authority?

Where your example of him, asking for a drink or snack, and then saying 'I don't want it.'

 

With this saying 'I don't want it', he is exercising self authority.

Where equally, his 'asking' to take a shower, and then storming off and saying that he doesn't want one?

This could be seen as him exerting self authority?

 

Though given that he has just turned 10.

This makes me think that at this age, he would be becoming more aware of his difficulties making him more dependent on others, than his peers?

That he will always have to 'ask' someone else, to get something done?

 

Where it could be helpful, to help him practice more self-authority?

For example, does he really need to 'ask you to take a shower'?

Where imagine that he could just as well, 'tell or advise you that he his going to take a shower'?

Which puts him in control, and gives him a sense of self-empowerment.

 

While asking is responded with a Yes or No?

Negotiating outcomes could be instead be explored?

 

I'll add a link that talks about 'Oppositional Defiant Disorder'.

But it really makes me think about how as a child gets older and becomes more aware of their 'difficulties'?

Where they are starting to become more and more independent.

How this would confuse their self concept, and self confidence, in growing their independence?

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/oppositional-defiant-disorder/basics/definition/con-20024559

 

 

[MomOfABunch]

This sounds very familiar. My DD went seriously downhill starting around age 9. This behavior is heartbreaking. Meds were the only thing that helped her. It was really difficult to get her on the right ones, but once we did, it was like magic. A really good child psychiatrist was the specialist who finally got us straight. Her real issue was an underlying co-morbid psychiatric issue that had been missed by countless other specialists.

[bdjjmj]

sbgrace thank you for your insight and it is all very concerning isnt it, espically when you just want an answer. I will have to think about the blood sugar things because now that you say it he is the same way with refusing to eat. He barely eats enough to keep a bird alive somedays....of course he would eat endless junk food if we allowed it. I think it could be anxiety because he dose have some other "anxious" behaviors though they are more physical then emotional. He goes through phases of repeadly rubbing his cheeck on his shoulder till it is all red and chapped..like 100's of times a day. He has also been chewing on the inside of his mouth and creating ulcers, and he also chews his fingernails down so low it is pretty bad, sometimes till they bleed. I beleive these are all possible signs of anxiety unless they are just sensory?? I dont think he is depressed, I would say he has nothing to be depressed about but it is hard to say what is going on in his head with his limited ability to communicate his feelings.

 

geodob I did not think about the struggle for autonomy, I guess I shouldnt assume that because I have totally embraced taking care of him for the rest of his like that he has. Certainley food for thought. I think I would lean away from ODD but is certainley worth posing as an option. I will read more in its regaurd. Thank You

 

Mom of a bunch, I am glad to hear I am not the only one...Well not glad you are facing it but glad to have others that have gone before me. My husband and I were discussing today that maybe it would be something that would require meds and how we both said we never wanted to do meds for anything (PArenting rule #1 Never say neer until you have been there LOL!) IF this behavior was to keep up it would have to certainley be a consideration because we are all so on edge when it happens and it iss robbing alot of joy from his life. I am glad to hear you got things straight with your daughter one of my biggest concerns wuld be finding that right specialist to work with. Lots of food for thought! Thank You for your insight

[MomOfABunch]

*Hugs* bdjjmj. I was always anti-med. I barely even use Tylenol. But meds made it possible to live with her. The behaviors that she had (which sound a lot like what you're starting to deal with) she couldn't control. Hormones made it worse, but didn't cause it. If she doesn't have her meds now, the old behaviors come right back....

[Ottakee]

I have a daughter with co-morbid mental impairment and psychiatric concerns.  Meds have made about 90% difference and then we can work on the other 10%.

 

I would suggest a full physical if you can get one----including blood work for things like thyroid, blood sugars, anemia, vit b and d levels, etc.  Sometimes if something is off it can cause these behaviors and can be easily treated.

 

Then I would also try to find a pediatric psychiatrist that is experienced with kids with low IQs for an evaluation.  Meds are not an easy decision but they can make life so much better.