So discouraged.

[Eleni]

I am beginning to seriously wonder if my nearly 8yo son has a learning disability. We are having serious issues with reading and letter recognition. Today we were reviewing letters of the alphabet, and he was totally clueless on several and telling me that t is F, or S is C...just mixing them up. He forgets letter sounds easily as well. I have worked less with my 5yo and he is much further ahead. I cant tell if this child is taking me for a loop or is genuinely having issues. My husband is a brilliant man, yet will ask ridiculous questions like "What lake is this?" after seeing a photo of the lake I drive over daily , that is 3 minutes from our house, and he has seen a gazillion times...he seriously forgot there is a lake.

 

It is really bothering me that my son is unable to read close to grade level. I can tell it is getting to him when he is around other kids his age, or in classes and its just expected he should know things. He also has a hard time identifying numbers.

 

Partly I wonder if it is lack of consistency on my part....but then I wonder why my 5yo is so far ahead, when he has had far less lessons than his brother. I know they are different kids....but Im really getting concerned. i dont want him to suffer because of this, and I worry that maybe he does have an LD, and school would help him. My brother has dyslexia, mild tourettes and i think ADD thrown in there....my mom was always very proactive with getting him help from an early age, and he went on to college with a basketball scholarship, and recently graduated.

[3lilreds in NC]

if you are concerned, I would go ahead and have him tested. I don't think it means he needs to go to school, necessarily, but it would help you know how to help him and what teaching/learning styles work best for him. I know there are lots of moms with experience with LDs here, and they will have much better insight, but I would recommend getting him tested so you know where to go from here.

[unsinkable]

but I so sorry you are having these problems.

 

IMO, an 8 y.o. should be able to recognize letters.

 

Does he read at all? If he does, does it seem like he has memorized whole words? Some kids do learn like this. If he has memorized whole words, I would have him read, read, read, while you are working on letter/sound recognition. He'll get some confidence and so will you.

 

I am always beating the drum for visual-spatial learners so here is a link.

 

Meanwhile, I'd turn to your mom. She sounds like she would be a wonderful resource and advocate for you, as well a comfort.

 

best wishes,

unsinkable

 

http://www.visualspatial.org/Articles/articles.htm

 

Look at the reading readiness articles

[unsinkable]

look at all the reading articles, not just the reading readiness.

 

unsinkable

[Eleni]

No...he can read simple phonics books...but not without a struggle. However, he will listen to me read for hours, and has a GREAT comprehension that way. He loves to sit and look through books, loves being read to more than anything. I started reading when I was 3, and still read constantly as an adult.

[Jean in Wisc]

Reality says that you need to teach the child by starting where he is and his ability and not by his age and grade. It is a hard thing to do in our culture.

 

That said (which you no doubt already knew), all children learn at their own rate. Some are younger; some, older. Some learn easily; others struggle. (And you knew this already, too.)

 

I had to learn these truths through the struggles of my 3rd child. We went through so many reading programs(!), and it was not until he was in 4th grade that he began to read. Phonics simply made no sense to him.

 

He picked up his history book at the beginning of 4th grade and simply started reading it to me--we'd been ignoring reading throughout the summer because we needed a break. I nearly fell off the couch. He went from reading "The cat sat" to finishing the Lord of the Rings Trilogy in 2 years. Yes, he still has his struggles, but reading is no long one of them.

 

There are many skills that are necessary for the child to read. As you continue to plug along with reading lessons, also work on finding solutions. Check his vision. If you want, you can get him tested to see if someone can tell you exactly what the issues are. Keep working on phonics in various ways. Continue to have him do other activities that help the mind retrieve data--I always said the best things we did were Bible memorization and piano scales, and he always learned best when in motion (walking around the table, jumping on the trampoline.)

 

Keep working on it. Keep trying new things. For my son, 100 EZ Lessons was the program that unlocked the door--but it was after we had done years of preparatory work on reading.

 

Good luck.

[Sunny]

Just for your peace of mind, I would find him some testing. Don't go to the public school system, ask your doctor, keep it in the private sector, until you know for sure what it is. It always helps to know what you're working with. If you find that there is no diagnosis, you still know that now you can take it a day at a time, be consistent and more frequent so that there isn't a whole day between phonic lessons. Be sure to get him vision testing (developemental) to determine if it is vision related.

[Claire]

Do you have medical insurance? If so, I would call your company and tell them your son needs a complete neuro-psychological evaluation. They will tell you if you need a referral from your physician or whether you can self-refer. (I called our HMO and found out from them that I could self-refer.)

 

To get medical coverage for evaluations, you must always describe medical problems (*not* educational problems, such as difficulty reading). From your post, it is clear that you could describe memory problems and possibly language problems.

 

The value of a neuro-psych eval is that it is more thorough than other types of evaluation and will specifically cover testing of different types of memory.

[Karen sn]

Eleni - I think he sounds like my dd. Brilliant in every other way but the written word. She is just now REALLY getting it. Her confidence is growing. She sees her d's and b's as what they truly are more times than not....finally.

Her penmanship is PERFECT and she can actually spell pretty well.

She is ten.

 

Some kids really take alot of work in this area. Me - I am like you. I have never known a time when I could not read. It's frustrating.

 

Whatever you do - don't let him get too stressed over his problem. If he loves books - it will eventually come to him with some hard work. You can learn to read no matter what the developmental problem is - but loving books and wanting to read (be read to) is a beautiful thing that we have to keep intact in our children who have learning difficulties.

[Karen sn]

Jean - I love that you discovered your son needed movement! This is why I love homeschooling moms.

[prairiegirl]

(((Eleni))), I know about this discouragement. My ds is 7 and is having the same problems as your ds. I, too, have been wondering if I should have my ds tested or wait. Seeing that your ds is 8, I would have him assessed, so then you would know what you are dealing with. They might be able to give you a starting point on how to help him and give you various ideas on teaching him in the way that he needs.

 

I want to encourage you that you can, indeed, do this on your own. You are his mom. You are the best possible person in his life who can help him. If you put him in school, you might just add to your problems rather than lessen them. He needs someone in his life who can be his cheerleader. You have the best credentials for the job. You can do this! It will take time and perseverance, but you can do this!

 

Julia

mom of 3 (8,7,5)

[Sugarfoot]

I know I'm late responding to this, but your post "hit home" with me in so many ways. That was my son (now 12) at that age, too. Tourette's, ADD, and dyslexia run in our family, as well. It was heartbreaking to watch him struggle when I knew he was smart. We finally had him evaluated. He had a vision tracking problem that required therapy twice a week. This helped, but he still wasn't where he should've been. We had him tested by an educational psychologist when he was 8. He was diagnosed as "dyslexic-moderate to severe." It was so hard. The evaluator told us that if it weren't for homeschooling, he'd never be able to do what he could, and that it was the best choice for him--he'd be lost in a school setting. I threw myself into learning everything I could about it and finding a program that worked for him. I told him that having dyslexia didn't mean that he would never be able to read--it just meant that it would take longer for him to learn. Four years later, he reads ahead of grade level and spells just slightly below grade level. I didn't believe we'd ever be able to say that back then. Anyway, all this to say that if you feel something's "wrong", testing could give you the answers you need, and even if those answers aren't easy to hear, it's not hopeless. I highly recommend the book, Overcoming Dyslexia, by Sally Shaywitz, too. If he's dyslexic, you'll likely recognize him in her work.

 

As far as testing goes, I spoke to several people about it, and from what I understood, if he were to be tested by the public school system (free), he would have only qualified for testing after he was 2 grade levels behind. There was no way I wanted to watch him fall farther behind than I felt he already was. And then, they wouldn't do a whole battery of tests at once. It cost us $1000.00 to have the entire educational battery done privately. It took 2 days, and although it was stressful, we got the answers that we needed.

 

I hope you find what you're looking for with your son.

[Kathy in MD]

a few minor problems that might exist that you've not mentioned.

 

Also, please post over at the Special Needs boards. There's a lot of experience there, both in homeschooling and after schooling special needs children. But best of all, your posts are less likely to be lost in the mass of posts on the general boards. :eek: