Help w/ Priorities?

[Aubrey]

In no particular order:

 

1. Dh is allergic to dairy & wheat. We've eliminated these from our diet, but along w/ that is a long process of learning how to buy & cook other foods. We're going through wheat w/drawal (or sudden, severe allergies?) & trying to rethink everything we've ever eaten, even down to our cookware. The bread machine won't do gluten-free, we may need a grain mill, etc. I'm beginning to think that dh was doing alright on wheat & dairy after all.

 

2. Moving in. Getting our furniture out of storage. Etc. I've gone to ea room (as one of you suggested) & made a list of the top 3 things that room needs. I plan to spend about an hr per day working on this, so I'll hit ea room about 2x/mo. That makes it feel under control w/out being daunting or all-consuming...sort-of.

 

3. School. Totally supposed to be doing it, huh?

 

4. Work. Dh is...being given a "leave of absence" from one of his jobs. It will be 2wks-1yr. Honestly, I don't know what to make of that. His other job STINKS. Sometimes he's out all night & makes less than $20; sometimes he can make nearly $200 in 10 hrs or less. Part of the problem is, no matter how long he's out, how much he makes, he always *feels* our need for more income. He's always thinking about when he can go out again & feeling guilty for coming home when he finally does. Makes for a chipper home life. ;)

 

Anyway, it's been drying up in the last 6 mos (since he started, lol), & he needs to find something else. As if that wasn't obvious from the above paragraph. But he spent about 3mos sending out resumes, going to job fairs, etc., & only got 1 call for an interview: the day we were moving, & the job would pay...less than he was making at S'bucks.

 

He was going to take a semester (or more?) off of seminary to pursue a regular 8-5 type job, but when job prospects were so bad & we realized that our seminary housing was going to go up 25% per mo instead of 15% (I don't know where we got that figure), plus student loans would go back into repayment--he signed up for the min # of classes.

 

He's still looking for something else, but he's less... enthusiastic about it, maybe? I think he thinks it's hopeless right now, so he's trying to make all the $ he can make at the courier job. I'm grateful that we're not starving, but that's about all I can say about that job that's positive. I don't like who it's turning my husband into. Bad grammar, but there ya go.

 

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I have a tendency when I get overwhelmed to take on more projects. (Go wheat-free, dairy-free, anyone?) I tend to see all the things that need doing that are usually invisible. I guess so I can kick myself harder? :lol:

 

Anyway, I need help knowing what to focus on. If I can make my vision into tunnel vision for a little while, I know things will get better, & I'll come out in-tact. It's just that everything seems like an emergency right now, kwim?

 

I'm tempted even now to make a second-tier list, but if *I* know they're 2nd-tier (the car is only just now *beginning* to be repaired), then I don't really need help w/ those priorities, do I?

 

Aub, waiting w/ baited (;)) breath for y'all to tell me to chuck the wheat thing (I've lost 4lb in--what's it been?--3 days?) & go make a pan of brownies.

[chiguirre]

Well, I'd ditch the GFCF diet for the rest of the family. Your dh is a grown-up and can control what he eats. Just make sure you have lots of corn tortillas and cooked rice in the fridge for quick meals. When we did the GFCF trial with the boys for 6 months, dh and I still ate regular food (the boys were 4 and 3 and very developmentally delayed so they didn't care). It would take one big task off your list and allow you to keep food costs down for the family as a whole.

[WTMindy]

I guess I would think about what you and your dh view as the most important jobs for you right now. To me, I would say that children come first, feeding the family would be next, organizing the house would be last. The fourth one doesn't seem to be in your control, but in your dh's. I would only take on the things that you have the power to change. If it were me, I would get at least a morning routine of school going, whatever that looks like. I would use nap/rest time (everyone goes to quiet time!) to do some work on getting the house organized.

 

For what it is worth, my sil had to cook for wheat/dairy allergies for her kids and she never bought a mill. She also fed her family on a strict budget, so I would be happy to connect you with her if you need some ideas or help with this. I'm sure she would love to help you. Her hubby just finished seminary and so she can relate to your position!!

 

Best of luck to you Audrey! You do have a lot going on!!

[LaxMom]

If it were me, I'd go with health first, sanity next (or at the same time) and then school. If I can get control over what I *can* control, then the rest isn't as daunting and usually clicks into place. And, frankly, living with the physical fallout from food allergies and in a chaotic house would not put me at the top of my game to make a job change, even in a good economy, if that makes sense.

 

:grouphug: I feel for you.

[Rosie_0801]

The gluten free thing isn't so hard if you are willing to rearrange your diet a bit. There is no law that says your hubby must eat bread for breakfast. He can have a microwaved potato and beans or something.

 

 

Rosie

[Guest janainaz]

I would just focus on what you have control over. You have to let your dh handle his stuff because you have enough of your own.

 

Personally, I would get things organized to the best of my ability and focus on your kids and school. Get some kind of routine going and organize your time better so that you can focus on some of the other stuff if you have time.

 

Anything that is not imperative that is causing you stress I would ditch. Mind energy is more draining than anything.

 

Lastly, I have noticed that when I get overwhelmed, if I make a point to just take on one task that I'm dreading and actually accomplish it, I feel so much better. It's a like a weight lifted.

 

Good luck!