Stressed (long)

[Suzybearybake]

I was reading the post about the lady who was committed to homeschooling but had an extremely full plate. I can totally relate. I homeschool my three boys, which takes all day(usually from 8am to 6pm). My husband is on the road most of the time and is gone overnight at least 2 to 3 nights a week. I take care of my father-in-law. His wife passed away and he can not cook or clean. He has limited mobility and can not hear so I take him to all appointments. I am responsible for getting the boys to piano, speech, and sports practices. Financially ,we are barely keeping our head above water with only my husband's income. I have no extended family/babysitter and no time for me. Our church is 30 minutes away. We live in the country ,far enough away from everyone to be left out of the social loop. I have many aquantainces at church but no real friends. My life takes up so much time that I really don't have the time to socialize. I am so lonely that I can't stand it. Public school is not an option. I really believe in raising my boys to be the best they can be away from the negative worldly influences. I don't mind sacrificing to give them that. I feel that is what is truely best for them. Part of me is afraid that I have poured so much into them that when they leave I will have nothing left. I have a BA in English and Public Administration but have not held a job since graduation (14 years ago). My youngest is in third grade so we still have awhile. I wonder if by then I will even be employable. I have no strong relationships to fall back on because I have not invested time in them. I am gaining weight (from a 10 to a tight 14). I don't know how to make changes without time to carve out for myself. There is just no one to hand the baton off to . I feel trapped sometimes, in my life. I am conflicted with what I want for them and what I want for me. I feel guilty and selfish if I even consider putting me first, but sometimes I feel like I am slowly dying. I don't know that I really expect anyone to have a solution. I just needed to vent and see if anyone ever felt this way. Anyway, thanks for listening.

[Ria]

I think I understand how you feel, Suzy, especially the part about wondering if they'll be anything left of you when the kids leave, and feeling trapped. That's how I was feeling. In my case I did decide to give the public schools a try (and can I just say we've been thrilled beyond belief?!). I'm in the process of finding a part-time job (not a career-job, mind you, just something I'll enjoy that will bring in some much-needed extra cash).

 

I know you say you don't see the public school system as an option for you, and I respect your feelings. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone - I for one really identified with your post. I will pray that you find a solution, or at least find peace.

 

Ria

[Renee in NC]

I think there is a LOT of us overwhelmed moms here! I really don't want to send mine to school, but they are enrolled for fall.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Many of us are burning the candle at both ends. In my case, I've chosen to limit our outside activities for the kids. Yes, I worry sometimes that I'm somehow stunting them but when I look at them, they seem happy and healthy and not in need of long-term psychological care! They do get lots of physical activity without organized sports. And I teach them the instrument I know (recorder) at home. I am contemplating getting some books recommended from moms on this board for speech but we are also researching speech therapists in the area.

 

My kids know that our family has a limited financial budget and a limited time/energy budget. Both are valid measures of how we allocate our time and money. Maybe I should add that there is a definite "Mommy" budget that limits how much of me there is to go around! Homeschooling is important to me - more important than the activities (though the activities are good!) It is just that in my value system - the Homeschooling is BETTER than the activities.

 

I don't have a car, so socializing can be difficult. I invite people over to my house on occasion for "tea" - or for lunch. Not all the time! Just every few months.

 

I'm overweight - I'm thinking that I need to get outside with my dc more and take walks and exercise with them. Our family time at night with Daddy includes a nightly walk together. In autumn and winter we walk at the mall. In spring and summer we walk in the neighborhood or at the high school track. Sometimes we ask the kids to walk/run ahead of us so that my dh and I can have some time to just visit together.