mooooom Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Probably this is normal, but my 2 14yos care about nothing (except sleep and food). They do their work, but without getting excited about it. They used to be really excited about fencing, but now show little enthusiasm (and this is a humongous money pit, so I find it REALLY annoying - they also used to be very good but don't seem to try very hard anymore). They are just going through the motions with everything. Free time (weekends) are spent on the computer playing mindless games (we have started to limit this). There is nothing wrong with them, they just aren't all there anymore. And they STILL don't have a clue what they want to choose for an elctive next year - they have no interests AT ALL! My dh and I are concerned about them/this. My dd, 13, is a bit on the snippy and surly side, but she still has passions that she is willing to work on every day. They are like blobs. What do we do? For what its worth, they have plenty of intellectually challenging schoolwork, exercise, chores, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 What great man had the father that had him work on the pipelines or something to get him back to being focused on school work?? I think the boy was 14 at the time; school looked good after hard man's work for a couple of (weeks?)..... Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I'd be okay with them not being excited about school work. So long as they complete it, I'm happy. Were they my boys, I would absolutely limit, if not cut off, the computer games. We only have PC games, but even then the boys are limited to 2 hours, 2x a week. That's it. And even that is too much, IMO. Perhaps some physical work would help motivate them? Is there something they can work on that would focus on other people; not themselves? Can they shovel the walks/driveways of elderly neighbors? Things like that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 My ds was like that. He was really only interested in video games, friends, and um thats it unless you want to add a growing interest in girls. Physical activities really seem to help. Group discussion classes are great. It is a good time to add volunteer work to fill the hours. Real work around the house is good to - ready to finish the basement or have an old car to rebuilt? If the fencing is causing resentment, have a clear discussion, maybe it is time to drop it. Weight-lifting at the Y in a group class and pick-up games of basketball were great at this age along with running and cycling. Good luck. On the other side of this is a couple of young MEN. I think it is just hard in our society to for boys to grow into men. We have no real rights of passage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace is Sufficient Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 You're almost describing my daughter who turns 14 in February. (She does like to knit, but that's about it.) Is there really life on the other side of this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 humph! I'll take your 14 yo for my 16 yo (he's not driving yet). Did you say you have 2? I'll take them both, and add them to my one. As long as you take the 16 yo. Okey-dokey??? My husband gave me a whole spiel this a.m. about how we should be so grateful for all the things our child is not. For it could be ever so much worse. . . *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in WA Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 A dear friend of ours worked in a Christian school for years. She said the first time she saw this she went to the school principal. She asked him about "Johnny". "What is wrong with him. Yesterday he could do calculus and today he can't add two plus two?" The experienced principal responded, "It's teenage brain fog. The girls usually get emotional and the boys go away for awhile. He'll be back." And he did come back and so will your boys. We're on child #3 who is 14 right now. I think the girls experience the fog too, but it is much worse for the boys. Just keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass. It certainly feels like you are dragging their lifeless bodies through life sometimes, doesn't it? ;) I've found it also helps to explain to them what they are experiencing. Some days are very hard for them. They know they aren't functioning, but feel powerless to do anything. Being open and encouraging helps. I'll even ask sometimes, "Is this a bad brain fog day?" HTH Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauranav Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 My nephew is 14 and he is just not motivated. He would be perfectly happy to sit alone in his room playing video games all day long, except for the few minutes he wants to come out and act silly to get attention and laughs. Schoolwork is definitely a chore - I don't understand how a 15 question grammar worksheet that he knows the answers to can take 2 hours to complete. I let him walk around a lot when doing his school work, we're about to start up soccer league, and dh is looking at a few other projects to get him to work on in the house. And then there are those rare days when he is responsible, completes tasks, and acts like a normal human. The difficult part seems to be getting people who don't have 14 yr old children (like my mother who remembers my childhood as being all rosy and wonderful) to understand that this is life right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 A dear friend of ours worked in a Christian school for years. She said the first time she saw this she went to the school principal. She asked him about "Johnny". "What is wrong with him. Yesterday he could do calculus and today he can't add two plus two?" The experienced principal responded, "It's teenage brain fog. The girls usually get emotional and the boys go away for awhile. He'll be back." And he did come back and so will your boys. We're on child #3 who is 14 right now. I think the girls experience the fog too, but it is much worse for the boys. Just keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass. It certainly feels like you are dragging their lifeless bodies through life sometimes, doesn't it? ;) I've found it also helps to explain to them what they are experiencing. Some days are very hard for them. They know they aren't functioning, but feel powerless to do anything. Being open and encouraging helps. I'll even ask sometimes, "Is this a bad brain fog day?" HTH Cindy My middle ds whipped threw MUS Alg 1 and Geometry two years ago at 12-13yo. Last year he was doing Alg2 at 13-14yo and almost to the day on his 14th birthday he checked out. I swear his brain leaked out his ear. Fortunately, I hadn't moved the Alg1/Geometry credits to his high school transcript. Since last year was Alg2, I have called this year geometry. We spent first semester reviewing geometry and Alg1. This semester we will review Alg2. He was always a math guy and this has been so frustrating... for us both. I hope that "fog" lifts enough for him to do precalculus next year! I plan to send him to the same tutor that my oldest ds is using this year. I just can't handle that blank stare on his face when I know that he is perfectly capable of doing the work. I know I need to :chillpill: but it wears me out. Ggrrr! Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moni Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 14yo boys with no motivation . What??? They are supposed to be motivated ? ? ? :confused: I missed the memo! ;) Sound as if a lot of these boys are motivated to do one thing or another (computer games, sports, girls) just not motivated in the academic areas? It's okay with me. I don't require academic motivation. :seeya: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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