Have you ever been around a person who complains this much about being old ? JAWM vent.

[Indigo Blue]

1 hour ago, fairfarmhand said:

 

She IS genuinely being mean. She wants you to be as miserable as she is. That's why she says it. She's not a nice person. I'm sorry life gave you this mom. You do deserve better. And you can't make her be nice.

One thing to remember...she doesn't want a solution. She doesn't want you to fix it or give her any ideas. She simply wants to mourn that "Life is impossible and I hate that I'm old and you're not." So stop offering solutions. Stop suggesting stuff or giving ideas. When she says "It stinks that I can't take out the trash because it's too cold." Your response is "Oh that's rotten. Guess it'll just pile up till the weather improves. Did you know that I had the most amazing blueberry muffin from the bakery today."  Just agree or sympathize with every complaint she offers. If you offer ideas and suggestions, she's going to use that opportunity to put you down and say a mean thing. So don't do that. 

 

(Sorry this is late. I've been off the boards for Lent)

Thank you, fairfarmhand. That helps immensely. She does seem to find some sorta new thing to use to just be so vaguely or not so vaguely hurtful. This is the newest thing. It’s just….so weird. I will just never understand why things are the way they are, but at least I’m better at knowing things just aren’t normal. Yes, just need to keep on with keeping the topics plain, light, and boring. 

[kathyl]

For me, it just came to me one day that 'the best thing that can happen in my mother's world, is for me to fail in mine'.   Once I understood that in my heart of hearts, I quit giving her personal information about me and my family.  (She didn't live near us.)  I kept things superficial and cordial.  She hated it.  And she eventually stopped communicating altogether.

I was always so glad we never lived near her.