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So cross


Melissa in Australia
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2 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

You in no way failed them. You have provided loving family based care and have consistently advocated for them to get services and support. 
 

One of my more haunting images from professional life was a set of side by side images. One was a neurotypical brain MRI. The other was a brain MRI slice of a child born drug addicted and affected by trauma. The amount of grey and white matter differences between the brains was so very different—they looked structurally different. I think too often we think behavior is just due to environment and personal agency. It’s not. There are some biological roots to it. 
And, sometimes too often, we live with scars from those biological roots that never fully heal (and in some severe cases don’t heal much at all). 

Hugs to you and yours. You did not fail. You and Dh have done your part.

I saved a PET? scan image of a NT brain and an ASD brain showing the electrical pathways.  They are NOT the same.  I always found the NT brain pathways were all neat and orderly (and fell into one of three patterns), and the ASD brains (all unique) reminded me of a bowl of yarn that had been attacked by a litter of active kittens.

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Melissa, you are anything but a failure.   Yea, they will always have challenges but you have provided love and stability for them.

they might improve more after puberty and I to their 20s as I see that often.  Or maybe not.   But either way, you are not a failure.

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