Abuse and school shootings. :(

[swimmermom3]

This post is a lovely example of why people shouldn't post angry.  Most of it I really do stand by.  And, some remarks I made off the cuff out of spite because of personal interactions that have taken place in my own life since those kids were discovered.  I apologize.

 

The deeper story here is that this weekend we went to a close (very close) family member's home and, again, had to defend homeschooling.  We've been on the defense our whole lives but once the oldest ones got into college with scholarships a lot of died down. BUT then I got sick. And for some reason, people smell blood.  I swear it. And when they do, they look at weakness as an opportunity to attack homeschooling AGAIN. I'm exhausted and sick to my freaking toes of having to defend it.  Even GOOD homeschoolers are defending themselves these days.  There is no better place to homeschool than where I am right now, IMO.  My kids have access to be in plays, science labs, writing classes, dual enrollment CC -paid for inc. books, friend circles, etc. And we are finally "home" where family can have conversations with articulate, outgoing, great kids and SEE what homeschooling IS and still we actively have to don armor. Not all of our family, to be sure, but I just have to wonder - do people just make ONE decision on every argument?   Can they not say, "I lean this way."  Then read more.  Then say, "Hm.  I had not considered and now I think this way."  

 

So the rest of this is, encouraged by the #thisishomeschooling posts, I went ahead and posted a folder to my FB with pictures of us homeschooling over the years.  It included field trips, games, sib relationships, discussions, table work, mock, high school/homeschool graduation ceremonies, etc. I felt it gave a well-rounded view of what homeschooling kids truly looks like.

 

The vast majority of my circle does not homeschool.  

The prevailing comment was an atta-girl for being a good mommy.  And honestly?  I wanted to scream.

The whole point wasn't for Kelly to get points.  The whole point was to open people's eyes to the fact that homeschooling is a legitimate educational choice and that it should be protected as such because it is a healthy opportunity for children to learn in *most* circumstances.

 

Comparison: Imagine that you posted pictures of your child's B&M school.  You include fun opportunities, pictures of kids with close friends, pictures of after-school activities, pictures of labs and specialized curriculum, additional learning opportunities, field trips.  Right?  What are the comments going to be?  Wow, what a fantastic school.  The kids learn so much!  This really provides them with a well rounded opportunity.

 

Instead, essentially, my post was a, "Hey, homeschooling does work, but Mom does."  Now, I'm all for being pro-woman, but most of this, like the time to explore the outdoors, the ability to spend time and discuss as a family, is really because of homeschooling, not because of a one woman circus act, kwim?

 

And I think, legitimately, people opt to say, "Oh, this is good. This is *just* them," rather than ALLOW into their heads the very idea that homeschooling in and of itself is a good thing.

 

And then comes the bad family. NOW all of a sudden society is more than willing to say, "Okay, so THIS is homeschooling."  NO, no it isn't.

 

 

 

 

You know, the whole maybe we should make everyone homeschool thing was a rash and rude comment.  i'm going to leave it there because I deserved to get called on it.  The truth?  I do think in an ideal world that people should be taking responsibility in their own children's education.  I think a year of homeschooling would, in a perfect world, really open people's eyes to how much work it is (and joy) to invest heavily.  I think the afterschooling families we have here are already those families.  My own sister worked with my niece after school and on weekends to get her started solidly on reading.  My sister in law did the same thing with her girls.  And I do know that you are right - some homeschooling families are in need of coaching, accountability, bigger circles.  Truly I know this,  but I don't think that shoving laws down our throat and piling laws on already law abiding families is the answer.  I really don't.

 

Take my family for example.  I'm *really* not thrilled with the idea of homeschool assistance programs.  I'm not.  I lived out in Oregon where I was involved in a really sweet program run by moms who were deeply invested in their kids.  I loved it.  It was such a tight little circle and we got to know each other's kiddos. I miss it.  I moved here and wanted something similar to that, didn't want to do CC (and couldn't afford it, lol)  and because of public funded homeschool assistance programs here, they undercut the mom run programs.  I was resentful when I joined it.  It's been wonderful.  BUT it is admin'd by a homeschooling dad, and almost all the supervising teachers are homeschool moms.  Because of Iowa's open enrollment regulations, kids from other districts can be pulled into the system.  The money follows the kids.  Now all of a sudden you don't have more laws, nor do you have forced compliance.  Instead you have school districts making additional "coaching" and oversight respectful and attractive in order to gain the funds from open enrolling students. 

 

And I do know what you're talking about.  I remember the discussion.  It came at exactly the right time for me.  Iowa's unemployment is currently something like 2.8%.  We have jobs here. About 2009, you couldn't walk into a gas station without seeing "Help Wanted" signs. (Though unemployment was higher then, I believe.)  Then we moved out to Oregon and it really struck me.  Some of the families we were schooling with had had their jobs "downsized" essentially.  Jobs for blue collar workers were in short supply.  The Midwest mentality of, "Everyone who wants a job can have one if they're motivated," really shifted for me.

 

On a normal day to day basis, I am not a "everyone can and should homeschool" but I sure would like a little recognition and respect for the idea that homeschooling IS a strong and valid educational option. There just seems to be this idea that it's cozy, cute, homey, fun.  It's not that it ISN'T those things at times, but those adjectives undercut rigorous, academic, thoughtful, insightful.  :(

 

 

I'm sorry.  What I should have said was, well, first nothing.  I should have cooled off.  

 

Then I should have said I think all parents would be served well to have to educate for a while.  Let's take a look at afterschooling parents. 

SKL, you put a lot of effort into that.  Don't you have more respect for teachers, the kids, for the whole ball of wax because you've made this your personal responsibility?

Really guys, I do not usually have a short fuse, but this whole attack on homeschooling thing because of a few rotten apples has me so mad.  The Turpin thing wasn't the first.

Maybe I'm more sensitive with this coming on two Iowa cases - Sabrina Ray and Natalie Finn.

Local paper: "With the deaths of Natalie Finn and Sabrina Ray, the people of Iowa saw firsthand how homeschooling can be used to isolate victims and hide abuse."

And that sticks in people's heads. What about that they were both public schooled first? Both were foster kids?  Both families had been reported for suspected abuse?  And what about that both were not actually homeschooling, which does actually mean - schooling at home. 

 

 

SKL, I hope you know I truly do not believe, at all, that anyone who sends their kids to school loves their kids less.  Not ever.  Not even a little. 

 

:(

 

Oh Kellly!   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  Thank you, your post makes things much clearer and it sounds like the "you" I am used to reading. When I heard about the Turpin situation, I did think about the negative reflection on homeschooling, but didn't really see anything bad about homeschooling in the media about it, but if you have local cases, it makes it so much worse.

 

I get being tired of defending homeschooling. I was very isolated IRL as a secular homeschooler, especially for highschool. This board was my lifeline.  It was wonderful to meet my first boardie, IRL, the fabulous Nicole M. My parents were very against my homeschooling Sailor Dude and kept asking what was wrong with him that he couldn't go to school. They have finally stopped because he is in his second year of college, has a lovely GPA, is on the sailing team , and interned with our state senator. He'll graduate in three years. He's pretty sure not much of this would have happened without homeschooling. I am pretty sure it wouldn't have happened without this board.

 

You have to just run with the fact that you are doing what's best for your children and you. Growing a thick skin has been the most difficult part of the process for me.  You have a lovely family and are an inspiration for all of us.

[Sandwalker]

I missed the wars for Canadian and Australian independence.

They are still in the British Commonwealth.

[swimmermom3]

They are still in the British Commonwealth.

 

I believe that was the poster's point in response to another post.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

They are still in the British Commonwealth.

 

Which is a voluntary membership.