Jump to content


letting the kids decide

Recommended Posts

My 13 year old son just asked if he could dual enroll at the public school and take choir (he was in it last year when he attended there). We talked about it and decided it wasn't a good idea. My son left public school for several reasons, and negative influence was one of them. Plus, I know adding that commitment to our schedule would add a whole new dynamic to every single morning and afternoon that would make our days long and hectic- he would hate it. I believe his motive to join has more to do with his friends pleading with him and nothing to do with actually wanting to be in choir again (the teacher had already called me twice asking for him to dual enroll and my son was like, "No way!")


Anyway. All that to say, I guess I'm not as flexible as I thought. And honestly my son doesn't seem disappointed. No regrets.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As of right now, DH and I decide.  We are open to having that discussion with our kids, but we don't want to decide from one year to the next.  I feel like having a disjointed education isn't the wisest choice.  My oldest is 10, and she has just started asking about what it would be like for her to go to school.  She hasn't given an indication that she actually wants to go to school as much as she is just curious about the experience.  High school we are definitely open to sending them to school.  Educating an unwilling teenager seems like a disaster to me, but I'm not there yet.  So I'm open to the possibility, but right now my kids aren't consulted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No. It's a parenting decision here. I'll listen to their perspective, but I make the call. When some were younger, they wanted to go to school but it was not a good fit so we said no. Now, nobody wants to go to school but for various personal and educational reasons they are all going to go this year despite their protests.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We have always homeschooled. We'll be starting 7th (oldest) and 5th (twins) in a week or two.


When the girls were little (Pre-K through about 2nd grade), homeschooling was basically a parental decision, with very little input from the children. I did ask them what they "liked" about homeschooling, but that was about it. Generally, the things they liked had more to do with my mothering and their being at home than with academics. 


Around 3rd grade, I would occasionally ask my oldest daughter, "Do you like being homeschooled? Do you want to continue, or do you want to attend school? Do you ever wonder what it's like? Do you have advice for me?" I genuinely wanted to know if she had questions, was curious about school life, felt like she was missing out, had something to say to her mother/teacher, or whatever. She always wanted firmly to continue homeschooling, as have my younger two children as they passed through 3rd and 4th grades.


At around 5th grade, I have included the girls in the planning more -- asking questions; getting feedback; brainstorming our schedule, routines, and structures; asking them to make a list of things they'd like to learn and do; discussing methodology and approaches to learning; and so on. I think the more invested they are in their own education and lifestyle, the better things proceed during the year. I can come back and say, "You wanted this, and you wanted it this way, so now it's time to own it." ;)


Even with this current level of student input, I anticipate having to give "The Speech" at least two or three times this year. LOL.  :toetap05: Yeah.


As for high school, I have mixed feelings on that, honestly. On the one hand, I think most parents still have the greater wisdom, as well as a responsibility to protect and lead/advise/give guidance. On the other hand, we need to place some decisions into our child's hands. It's her life, not "mine," and she needs to be free® to live it. So I don't know how much the choice will be "ours" or "hers" when that time comes. At present, they all want to homeschool through high school, so we'll see. HTH.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I ultimately decide, but if I have two good options, I'll let the kids have input.


I actually just had to deal with this last week. My 5th grader was going to do virtual school with an IEP and receive services at the local public school 5 minutes away. Had the IEP meeting and learned that the virtual school decided to not take elementary students (keep in mind that school started 2 weeks ago and two of my kids were supposed to be enrolled). They had a new Connections Academy as a separate division underneath them that could take them, but special ed services would be provided only at the old school that now houses the new virtual school division. The problem? It's clear on the other side of the county! Too far to be going regularly for services. So we could either send him to the public school itself or continue to homeschool. I was actually open to trying the public school for a year, putting him on the yellow bus every day... With the plan to homeschool 6th and up (I'm not sending him to that high school, and the high school is grades 6-12). So when I got home from the meeting, I asked him what he thought about the two given choices. He said he wanted to homeschool because he would get more play time. He was also concerned that he wouldn't be able to get his homework done each day because he already has trouble getting his Bible class lesson done before church twice a week. It was a good argument, and I agree with him.


So I pulled together curriculum from my stash and started his homeschooling the next day.


I also asked my 3rd grader if he wanted to do virtual school or home school this year. He did virtual (Connections) last semester. At first he wanted to do virtual, but I kind of nudged him toward homeschooling by telling him it might be a few weeks before he'd get to start virtual if we're having to register now, 2 weeks in. So he said he'd homeschool. That was basically me making the decision but making him think it was his decision. 😂


My oldest I had told he could choose virtual or homeschool for high school (he has no desire to go to the public school), but then after we had some crazy stuff at the beginning of the school year, I strongly suggested homeschooling high school, and he agreed. :)


So yeah... I give them options I approve of and take their input into consideration, but I influence them heavily at times. ;) Now when my now 5th grader was saying he wanted to go to school in the very early years, I said no, because I knew it was not a good option for him at that time. I gave him a choice this year only because I was considering it as a valid option for this year only.

Edited by boscopup
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...