How long have you gone without seeing your parents?

[scoutingmom]

Hm... think I'm "winning" this question with 6 years and 17 years.....

 

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[mamaraby]

I would say we see someone from my side of the family at least once a week. That can sometimes include an aunt or uncle of mine and my grandmother about once a month. We text several times a day and we all live within at most 45 minutes of each other if we're talking my aunts and uncles or at most 20 minutes if we're talking my siblings/parents.

 

One of my sisters used to live several states away, but she often would call the kids or talk with them via iMessage or FaceTime. When dd1 was learning to read, she would often read to that sister via FaceTime. We saw her maybe once or twice a year when she'd fly home to visit, but the relationship effort between visits was definitely reciprocal.

 

I have not seen dh's family in going on three years. Dh takes the kids out to see his parents, his grandparents, and his sister and her family once a year while I stay home with the dog and the peace and quiet. Dh's parents used to come out here once a year to visit, but with my MIL's issues he figures that will never happen again.

 

The thing of it is, there is something to be said about the effort put in to sustain a relationship. My ILs do very little to foster a relationship with either their son or our children. Whereas in contrast, even if we were not to see my parents/family for an extended time, they would very much still be involved in our lives.

 

If dh did not initiate contact (either by text or phone) with his family, then I suspect he'd maybe hear from them once or twice a year. I know that this bothers him because it gets tiring to be the one to make the effort. My ILs are, for all intents and purposes, strangers to my children. Friendly strangers maybe, but strangers nevertheless.

[HS Mom in NC]

My mother lives 20 minutes away.  My father lives 45 minutes away.  The longest is about 4 months.

[Laura Corin]

Two years?  When we first moved to Hong Kong, we didn't return to either home for two years.  We didn't have the money or the energy after throwing ourselves across the world to come back for a visit.  

[Shelly in IL]

Food for thought...we've always lived far away from family. My parents were minimally 10'years older than my husbands. We always erred on spending more time with my food because of age - dh's parents were young and would drive. Fast forward - dh's mom has very early onset fairly aggressive dimentia. I always thought there would be time....