If you have been in a low place for a long time

[Mom2legomaniacs]

And have come out of it. How do you feel? I mean, do you feel like you are able to give more to others? Or do you feel like you need to focus more on yourself after having felt neglectful of self during said down time?

 

Where am I going with this? I am feeling a lot better in many ways. I have more energy, clarity or mind, body is feeling better, etc. I am going out and getting into activities again. The thing I have no desire for at the moment is home schooling. :eek:

 

I am going to open up a big old confession here. I have been doing bare minimum and kind of unschooling loosey goosey lately. I think this will pass once I get more evened out and settled with myself. The kids are working mostly independently with my helping as they need it. They are doing fine, but I am not really "teaching" them much right now. They are kind of teaching themselves more with my assisting through the bumps. They are both working ahead, so I am not terribly worried if we need to do this for a bit until I get my head all the way straight.

 

Please do not be harsh with me if you find great fault in my ways of doing things right now. If you have suggestions about how this might play out over time, that would be lovely. They are getting the basics every day. They both read a great deal of the time in a day.

 

Well, I don't really know what else to say. I feel kind of bad about this. But I am taking on more each week and I think I just need more time to fully come together, you know. The progesterone cream is an amazing thing. Who knew that could "fix" me up so that I would be more normal!

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

And have come out of it. How do you feel? I mean, do you feel like you are able to give more to others? Or do you feel like you need to focus more on yourself after having felt neglectful of self during said down time?

 

 

I tend to circle the wagons and become more introspective after a bad patch. I need for the healing to "settle," you know?

 

Be easy on yourself. Your boys are surrounded by learning and goodness. They will thrive. Ramp it up when you're ready, but rest assure, they are going to be more than ok.

 

:grouphug:

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I think I'm just a little behind you. I'm having a very hard time deciding when to be easy on myself (rest, or let things go), and when to push so that my life doesn't fall apart around me (get those dishes done!, try to do math with son today...). I, too, am wondering what it feels like to be out of this spot. Will I get my enthusiasm for schooling and life back? At what point am I failing my boys by not doing 'enough' school?

 

No answers, Melissa, but thanks for sharing what you're going through!

[joannqn]

It will get better. It will also come and go. Over time, you'll learn when you need to ease up and give yourself a break without feeling guilty about it. During those times, you can ask the kids for more help around the house, have them do more independently, give them other things that they can do on their own, or give them some time off. You'll also learn when you've had enough time to rest and need to push yourself back into action.

 

I've been about as low as you can get and made it back. Now I experience a cycle of lows and highs but never get that low anymore. I've learned how to deal with it and accept the differences in my energy levels. Some things that help me are:

 

Getting the kids to help more. We work together to get things done. For example, all three of us work together on putting laundry away. I sit and fold while the kids put the items where they go. Or we'll set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and pick up the main rooms.

 

Working independently on school. I chose curriculum that my kids could do independently. They do all of their language arts and math on their own. My younger will ask his sister or me if he needs help. My older will ask when she needs help. I don't teach these areas at all. Because I enjoy it, we do science, history, and literature (read alouds) together. I don't stress skipped days if I don't have the time or energy to do science or history.

 

Give them things they can do on their own. Some days, I'll give them something they can work on that's not our regular school work. Maybe I'll give them an art project to do or tell them to watch a video (documentary) or read certain books.

 

Go on a field trip. Sometimes I'll do something fun instead of doing school. I enjoy field trips as much as, and sometimes more than, my kids. We'll take the day off and go somewhere. It's still educational so they are still "doing school."

 

Sometimes we'll just take a day or week off entirely. I have to do this for 2 or 3 days every month during my cycle; I just can't function those days no matter how much I try. They are still learning, just not doing academics.

 

And then sometimes, you just have to push yourself back into action. There are a few ways I do this. One is to put on energetic music and get silly, dancing around with my kids and while doing chores. Another is to use a timer set for 15 minutes (or 10 or 5 if that's all I think I can handle) and work as quickly as I can in one room before moving on to 15 minutes in another room. Getting the house picked up can energize me and make me feel better. Another is to hyperfocus on a project I've been stressing about and get it done. The relief of having it done is a good pick-me-up.

 

It sounds to me like you are doing fine. If your kids are working ahead, you don't need to worry about it. You seem aware of what's going on so you'll know when you need to do something different.

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Thank you all for being supportive, understanding, encouraging, and more. It helps to hear how others operate during those times. I am functioning much better overall, but still have a ways to go. I will give myself that time. I think we all need it. Thank you!