mommymonster Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 So, this has been a long year. We'll start there. DH was laid off in the early summer, and he's not had luck finding a new job. I was recently offered a job, and so it looks like DH will homeschool the boys, and I'll head back to work. I'm pretty conflicted about this situation. I've enjoyed homeschooling, but we need the money. That's all there is to it. DH has "taken over" homeschooling, and I'm still waiting for the job to start (it's part time). DH and I have very different styles, and the transition is not going smoothly. Basically, he's asked me to just stop teaching, and he'll do it. He hasn't looked through the materials, and just wants me to make a list that he can check off. He's also pretty sure I don't teach the kids well because he would do it differently. I'm trying to be supportive, but man I'm having a hard time with this. This isn't a JAWM, I really would like constructive ways to get over with this. I'm sure DH is having a hard time making the adjustment as well, but I'm frustrated as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 Sorry things are difficult for your family. I think it is hard if DH is supposed to take over, but you are expecting him to do it a certain way. He will need some time to find his rhythm and figure out what works for him, without feeling that you watch him critically. So if I were in your situation, I would turn over the responsibility to him completely and let him figure it out and get out of the way. That will be difficult for you, because you have been the one in charge until now, but I think it is crucial for this to work that he can find his own style instead of feeling he is "subbing" for you. And he may come to appreciate how much you taught them when he is in the trenches - but his teaching may well look very different from yours. Difficult as it is, I think you should just not comment or offer unsolicited advice and let him swim. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExcitedMama Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 I'm sorry! That sounds really hard! My DH has no idea what we do at all do I cannot imagine him trying to jump in! My DH is crazy stubborn so it would be a problem if we were trying to hand off. Would your DH sit down with you to talk about things? Maybe you could tell him this is going to be hard for you since you have been so hands on and that it would help you let go if you could talk it over. If he's willing to do so you could talk about the subjects and the materials and how you normally go through them. I know my DS would absolutely try to con DH about what his day looks like and what he can do so I'm sure your DH could use an idea of what your DC can do on their own. If you have the time and he's willing maybe you could have him sit in while you do a normal day and then you could hand off to him for another day so he can ask you anything that's confusing. I'm sure starting in the middle of something would be confusing. I can get confused by material I've chosen and have been teaching! I think after that you'd have to hand over the reigns and let him know you're happy to help with anything. I think it would be reasonable to continue to have input on the subjects chosen and pacing. Best of luck!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandamom Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 A number of years ago my husband came home after losing his job (we weren't homeschooling at that point) and I needed to find a job quickly. I found a job and had to leave the house and kids (then 2, 7 and 9) to him. I would come home to his version of homelife and the only thing I could (and can) do was (is) close my eyes. Eventually he found his groove and things got better but it was an adjustment for both of us. I couldn't tell him what to do (and he didn't want me to) because my work was my job and he had to figure out what worked for him. There was a lot of trial and error but things eventually settled. Eventually he started working and then we had a new schedule to work through. Best wishes as you move through this transition. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymonster Posted September 16, 2016 Author Share Posted September 16, 2016 Thanks all. I think for next week I'm going to head to the library and let them find their groove. It would be easier if the job started on Monday so I would have something to occupy me. I totally trust DH will find his way, but I'm just feeling that the transition wasn't what I needed for closure. I'm just going to accept that it is what it is and move forward. :-) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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