What problem could be here?

[gstharr]

I've been involved with a now college sophomore since he was in the 4th grade. However, under the dynamics of the situation,  I have little say or control which is why i cannot help resolve the problem unless I can present something  more than my hunch.

 

He has always been an A student in public school.  But, standardized tests have always been mixed.  Strong in materials covered, very weak in the stretch questions.  SAT above average but not great. Poor AP scores even though A's in the classes.   He shows little interest in the world around him.   Since he stopped reading those Stine scary stories around 4th grade, he has not read a single thing  that was not assigned at school.  No newspapers, magazines, comics, books.  He does not watch tv, tv news.  If he is given little food on his plate, he does not ask for more.  If given way too much, he will eat it all.  

 

We have to constantly remind him to greet people, even relatives. This is more than a teenage phase, as we have always had to remind him. When he meets new people, and people are fawning  over him (You are so tall, you look so handsome),  he is engaged  and people will comment how polite he is.  But when not being fawned over, he changes.   

 

Here are a few other examples of his behavior:  a couple a years ago (when he was taking calculus), we had a hamster.  I asked how far that hamster would run in the wheel in a minute.  He said 3 miles.   I tried to have him talk it out.  He could not explain how to solve the problem.  

 

When we started giving him chores at 15, he spent 20  minutes trying to drape a flat unopened  bag over the trash can.  I had to show him to open the bag at the top and to stretch it around the rim.  Give him a tool such as a screwdriver or hammer,  he holds them with two fingers like poop diapers.  

 

When it was time for college recommendations letters, teacher more or less had him write them,  because they knew little about him (even though he was an A student with great attendance).

 

Other than running, he has no interest in sports. Does not watch, does not play.  Does not even watch track events. 

 

He keeps things tidy. Does not seem to threw anything away. Gifts go unopened  for years. they just sit unmoved  on the shelf.

 

 Have no clue as to how smart he is  because he doesn't join in any conversation. I have never heard him ask a question. You would not know he has traveled extensively throughout the U.S., because he never ever brings up anything about the trips. Can spend a whole day in a car without him saying a single word.   He does not react to anything outrageous.  I joke that if a parade of naked clowns were marching down our street, he would tell no one about it.

 

The others involved in our dynamics don't share my concern.  They say I don't understand him  or that he is shy.  But now, that he is struggling in college there might be an opening to help him.   thanks

 

[Kat w]

We adopted a teen out if the foster system that we also had been involved in his like from time he was 5 th grade.

 

Sounds like a case of good ole depression to me. Was the case with our son ( who layer bolted n went back to birth family) and frankly , currently I am depressed as a result of eval findings. Sounds like me right now too.

 

That's a tough one. As an "adult" noone can make him seek help or meds, only can convince him ir...just take him. Sometimes in these situations thwy r just in zombie mode and will sometimes go with you if you make the appt and take him and be there with him. It's scary.

 

Our son refused.

You're right tho, at any age you can intervene and help. Sounds like you have a bind with him. Maybe he will listen to you and jus go even tho he won't be excited about it.

 

Time for a professional to be involved .

It's certainly worth a try and you will probably be pleasantly surprised that hell just go with the flow of what you suggest .

 

I highly recommend getting a professional involved. We worked with troubled youth for years, depression can lead to suicide. Sounds drastic but, seen it happen .

From there he sure can get the help he needs including academically.

Your so awesome to take your time to do this. What a difference it makes in the life of a child :)

[Innisfree]

Mostly bumping your question to the top, but...

 

"He shows little interest in the world around him" and "we have to remind him to greet people" sound a bit like my dd with autism. She does, however, have a very strong interest in certain parts of the world around her; they just might not be the ones that interest everyone else. As a tween, she has learned to greet others, but that was an issue when she was younger.

 

ETA I hope someone can provide more insight.

Edited July 17, 2016 by Innisfree