What to write in a letter to someone who is dying? :(

[ThisIsTheDay]

I'm sure I could give advice if someone else posted this, but since it's personal, I'm drawing a blank and counting on the Hive to help me out.

 

Father of best friend from high school. I haven't seen him in decades but half way grew up at their house. He and I exchange cards every couple of years. Just got bad cancer diagnosis and is beginning chemo in the hopes of living 10-12 months.

 

I'm heartbroken. Right now, I'm unable to visit but would love to, depending on how things go in the next many months. I plan to send cards frequently, which my friend has suggested is the best things I can do for now.

[Guest]

When you first write, tell him how sorry you are about the diagnosis, and that while you know the treatment will be a lot of trouble and not easy, that you hope it has good effect.

 

Second, tell him that it is your hope that little notes from time to time will cheer him along the way, but that you expect no reciprocity in correspondence as he will be pretty busy and probably not feeling so good

 

And then write to him. Once a week, every two weeks, whatever. You can tell him what is going on in your life, even little stories about seemingly small things. You can stick in a "It reminded me of the time I was with you and your family..." and recount a shared memory.

 

Always wish him the best, in every letter, and tell him he is always in your thoughts and prayers.

 

That's as long a letter as it needs to be.

 

I've written to people in this manner many times, and sometimes my letter would be three pages, and sometimes a small notecard. Every time, the family has said how much the consistent and cheerful (not phony baloney sparkles and unicorns, but upbeat) nature of the letters made a difference to the recipient.

 

I applaud your wish to do this for a friend, even though it isn't easy.

 

Edited to prove I can spell "baloney." Balogna.

[trulycrabby]

What Patty Joanna said. :grouphug:

[ThisIsTheDay]

Gosh, PattyJoanna, you just made me cry. In a good way.

 

Thank you. I knew I could come here. I haven't even asked anyone IRL.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Alicia64]

Same thing happened to me. I hadn't seen my mom's friend in years, but I'd grown up at her house. She was dying of lung cancer within a week.

 

I just wrote from the heart about how she was the "cool" mom growing up: often running around in a red string bikini in her backyard working on a tan (70's) -- she even had a tiny heart tattoo long before nice moms had tattoos. It was on her rear and we'd only heard of it. Never actually saw it.

 

She was an admin. in a hospital and prior had been an RN. I told her how impressive she was in so many ways.

 

From the heart, I think a letter like that is really appreciated. I heard back from her kids that she smiled throughout the reading of my letter.

 

I was touched.

 

Alley

[Seasider]

When you first write, tell him how sorry you are about the diagnosis, and that while you know the treatment will be a lot of trouble and not easy, that you hope it has good effect.

 

Second, tell him that it is your hope that little notes from time to time will cheer him along the way, but that you expect no reciprocity I correspondence as he will be pretty busy and probably not feeling so good

 

And then write to him. Once a week, every two weeks, whatever. You can tell him what is going on in your life, even little stories about seemingly small things. You can stick in a "It reminded me of the time I was with you and your family..." and recount a shared memory.

 

Always wish him the best, in every letter, and tell him he is always in your thoughts and prayers.

 

That's as long a letter as it needs to be.

 

I've written to people in this manner many times, and sometimes my letter would be three pages, and sometimes a small notecard. Every time, the family has said how much the consistent and cheerful (not phony baliney sparkles and unicorns, but upbeat) nature of the letters made a difference to the recipient.

 

I applaud your wish to do this for a friend, even though it isn't easy.

Wow Patty Joanna, this is lovely. I imagine you've had quite a ministry in this area.

 

OP, hugs. Let your tears fall and write from the heart. How kind of you to undertake such correspondence.

[Guest]

Wow Patty Joanna, this is lovely. I imagine you've had quite a ministry in this area.

 

OP, hugs. Let your tears fall and write from the heart. How kind of you to undertake such correspondence.

When one is physically incapacitated, one does what one can. :0)

 

And, thank God, I am much better now!!!