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How do I respond to this (mental health in friends teen)?


bettyandbob
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My friend's ds has depression. I know the events that triggered the onset, but likely he would have had problems at some point on a serious level. It is likely genetic. He has an uncle living on partial disability who has struggled with depression.

 

Friend's ds will be 18 in August. He has 4 credits toward high school graduation (2 of which were acquired in 8th grade). He's never had a job. He has tried alternate school placements, home bound, and online instruction. Online has had in person tutoring by counselors at times.

 

He has no motivation for anything. I know that is what depression is.

 

The dad and I were talking about a few things today related to the ds. The dad just said at one point "what did we do wrong as parents?"

 

I don't think they've done anything wrong. I think they've been told they haven't done anything wrong. I have suggested NAMI support groups more than once. I have talked about another person I know well, but not known to this family who is dealing with a severely depressed 24yo child and the steps that family has taken to help themselves with the obstacles they have faced.

 

I guess it's just a statement of despair in which I'm not really supposed to have an answer, but just be a good listener.

 

I used to disability rights and I'm at a loss for these friends. The support in our state is ranked I think 48th in the US. I don't have hopeful stuff to say.

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Yes, people frequently blame the parents.  And the parent frequently blames the other parent.  And the parents frequently blame themselves. And it doesn't help at all.  

 

They need emotional support.  Just be their friend.  Reassure them that you believe in them and their efforts to help their son.

 

Have they tried in-patient treatment facilities that include academics?  Maybe out of state in a facility with a good reputation?  Are the parents in therapy?

Edited by OneStepAtATime
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