Safe Haven Law as way out of responsibility

[asta]

I find this sad on so many levels.

 

The woman obviously needed mental health help (and no, I'm not judging her for having children, I'm talking about the rest of it). The man obviously needed mental health help even before the woman died.

 

Court records detail the family's troubles:

 

Officers found a broken septic tank and containers of human waste. The family had had no gas in the home since April 2003 and no water since June 2003.

 

The officers also found three dogs, four cats, two rabbits, 12 caged mice, two salamanders and one lizard.

 

A judge ordered the parents to find decent housing, keep a clean home and get jobs.

 

It sounds as if the kids were in PS. The neighbor is quoted as saying about the children: "They're very disciplined," Wright said. "They're really respectful."

 

I met a family once upon a time that was... I don't know how to describe it. On the outside, it looked perfect. Lots of kids, two parents, dad had a steady job, mom stayed home and homeschooled - very devout in their religion. They never seemed to want for anything.

 

Then the veneer cracked. In the middle of a homeschool meeting one day, the 'tween girl didn't hop to quite quickly enough for mom and "_________ YOU ARE BEING WILLFULLY DISOBEDIENT. GO STAND IN THE CORNER" reverberated throughout the building. We all sat in stunned silence as the girl began to silently cry and the mom behaved as if nothing at all had happened.

 

Subsequently, we all began to see that oldest kid was responsible for waking v. early, doing their studies, then teaching next kid, who then was responsible for teaching next kid, and so on down the line. All had to be done by 3 so that the house could be cleaned by the children. Father cooked when he came home. It reminded me of Oliver Twist.

 

None of us ever did figure out what mom did all day long, though one of the kids slipped one day and said "mom is on the computer all day" and got sent out with a yell.

 

I grew up in a semi-large family. All of my friends were in large families. We all had to contribute to the family - that's just how it was. But something about this family gave me pause. And now, every time I see something about another large dysfunctional family, I wonder what it is, what is the straw that breaks the camel's back? Why are some people in functional family units and some people just... not? It can't ALL be explained by a cosmic joining of two people with brain cooties.

 

 

asta

[MelissaM]

I am a firm believer in the necessity of the Safe Haven Law. It has protected several newborns from very cruel deaths.

 

I'm not sure about using it in this case. One side of me thinks it's better than being physically or sexually abused. The other side thinks of the severe emotional trauma that an abandoned older child would face. There's not really an easy answer here.

 

As far as your thoughts on when does a family's structure break down, the variables are so wild that it is impossible to tell. The meshing of one person with another in becomming parents is unpredictable. Some people bring out the best in each other and some only bring out the worst. I suppose it's magnified in mentally ill people and/or those who were abused as children.

[hsmamainva]

I think Safe Haven laws are wonderful, if they're used as they're intended to be but, what were they thinking with the wording??

 

If I remember correctly, the Nebraska law states that children younger than *19* can be dropped off without facing charges??

 

Safe Haven laws should be to protect newborns and infants. Any older than that and the children are going to have some serious abandonment issues!!! How tragic.

[Renee in NC]

I see the other side of this - that father was so overwhelmed that he felt that he had no other choice. As a mother of soon-to-be 7, I can't imagine how difficult it must be for him to try and be the sole support and parent to those children. No, this is not a good answer, but for some reason he felt it was the only answer!

 

How could he be helped so that he can keep his family together while he gets psychological help?

[TraceyS/FL]

I see the other side of this - that father was so overwhelmed that he felt that he had no other choice. As a mother of soon-to-be 7, I can't imagine how difficult it must be for him to try and be the sole support and parent to those children. No, this is not a good answer, but for some reason he felt it was the only answer!

 

How could he be helped so that he can keep his family together while he gets psychological help?

 

I'm pretty sure he was overwehlmed.....

 

but based on this, i'm not so sure he WANTS to get help?!

 

Wright's daughter, Andrell Robinson, saw the man midday Thursday.

 

He was with a woman that Robinson understood to be his girlfriend, she said.

 

And he was packing a blue suitcase into his car.

[Renee in NC]

I'm pretty sure he was overwehlmed.....

 

but based on this, i'm not so sure he WANTS to get help?!

 

How can we possibly know much of anything based on a news snippet? We don't know where he was going, why, or for how long. I tend to err on the side of compassion, though.

[Peek a Boo]

I'm another firm believer in Safe Haven Laws --for ANY age.

 

I tend to look at it from the perspective of:

 

a child that is being abandoned by their PARENT is already under severe trauma. I MUCH prefer parents having the option to bail legally and the children going IMMEDIATELY to someplace SAFE.

 

Do i think some parents use this law as a matter of convenience?

oh. yeah.

Just like they use other laws for convenience.

 

Is that convenience warranted? I'm sure in many situations it is.

I absolutely support options that promote a safe condition for ALL kids, no matter their age.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I think it is a good thing the kids got to get away from that man. If he wasn't working when there were containers of sh** around the house and they couldn't pay their bills- well that is not a good environment for children to say the least.

 

I am glad there are ways where parents can turn over their rights and keep children safe, however, I think the dad in this case should be on the hook for child support if he is determined eligible to work medically.

[Renee in NC]

I am glad there are ways where parents can turn over their rights and keep children safe, however, I think the dad in this case should be on the hook for child support if he is determined eligible to work medically.

 

I agree.

[Peek a Boo]

I think it is a good thing the kids got to get away from that man. ....that is not a good environment for children to say the least.

 

... I think the dad in this case should be on the hook for child support if he is determined eligible to work medically.

 

Excellent point.

 

 

If he wants to maintain a visitation relationship, I absolutely agree that he should be responsible for support. And lots of it.

 

BUT-- I would be willing to let him off the hook for child support if he terminates his parental rights PERMANENTLY and never sees those kids again so they can be adopted out w/o repercussions of being yanked around again.

 

But I'm an equal-opportunity gal in whether a parent should be allowed to get rid of their kids w/o legal consequence.