lovinmyboys Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 I really think my DS7 is likeable. In fact, I always thought he would be my kid that everybody likes and would have lots of friends-more than ds9 and ds5. However, when his friends come over, he always ends up upset because they like to play with his brothers more (as he perceives it). I think the problem is that they see ds9 as older and cooler and ds5 is so happy to be included that he will play anything the friend wants. Ds7 does not handle this well and at all and I need a way to teach him. He gets his feelings hurt and acts like he is hurt and it makes it worse. A typical scenario is ds7 will say "do you want to play Star Wars" and friend will say "how about hide and seek" and ds5 will pipe up and say "yes, hide and seek." Ds7 sees that as being ganged up on and the friend liking ds5 better. So then he gets upset and says no one wants to play with him and no one likes him. He actually has friends at activities and seems to be socially fine when he is away from his brothers. It is just when he is with his brothers the problems start. And it is a self fulfilling prophecy because he starts thinking and acting like no one likes him and he becomes fairly unlikeable. How can I help him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 yeah, I went through this with my middle girls in particular with certain friends. Some visiting kids are better about this than others. There's one kid in particular that I wouldn't invite over when my older dd was home because it became such an issue. I try to keep my other kids busy when my middles have friends over. I'll give additional video game time or something to keep the other kid out of the way when a sibling has a friend over. I talked to the siblings and they were sort of understanding of the dynamic, since they sometimes struggled with sibling woes when they had friends over. i also instituted a "one hour" policy. The child who had a guest had to include siblings for no more than an hour. My middles were less likely to be resentful of playing with a sibling involved if they knew it would come to an end. If the guest trailed around after the older sibling after the hour was over, I instructed my older kid to say "No, I'm going to read for awhile. You play with little sis." I tried to have a selection of things to keep the other kid occupied in a solitary way. These activities I set up were not super attractive for the younger kid. I don't know if I handled this the best way or not. I just know that for awhile, some kids just didn't end up at our house as often because it led to drama. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 Sounds like one of my middle children. Sensitive AND easily feels slighted by these things. I have no answers but I'm all ears! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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