Puberty / health book for a pre-teen girl with more detail?

[Ameena]

Been a while since I was here, but I thought since this board is more open-minded that perhaps someone could help. I'm working ahead on laying out our coursework, and I am trying to come up with a comprehensive health / sex ed program for dd. Can anyone suggest a book / program to use? Would be used probably in 5th / 6th grade, but I'm okay with maybe a program geared towards high school age as well since dd is an early bloomer.

 

We've already done Care & Keeping of You this year as dd is beginning to bloom - loved it, but it really doesn't deal with the sex ed portion of things. I have Our Bodies, Ourselves, but it's too wordy & boring IMO for dd. Is there a good resource out there that isn't preachy that covers the fine details & health aspects? I really want something comprehensive similar to the course I took in college {which of course had no book :( }.

 

A secular program would be great - does such a thing exist?

[redsquirrel]

Well, my church uses the OWL curriculum.

 

http://www.uua.org/re/owl/

 

I do know that some homeschoolers have bought the curriculum and adjusted it to use with one kid. But if there is a UU church nearby you might contact them and see if they are offering OWL for her age? Our church always welcomed OWL participants from the community. There is a middle school level (grades 4-6) and a high school level (8-10th grade). The middle school level is mostly about puberty and becoming teenagers. The 8th grade version is about decision making, values clarification, and factual information about sex, sexuality, birth control, gender identity, relationships etc It is pretty darn thorough. Ours always ends with a visit to the local Planned Parenthood so the kids know where it is and what it offers. One of the OWL teachers at our church is both a member and a staff member of PP so it works out well.

 

And I think there is a Our Bodies/Ourselves that is geared towards teen girls? Is that the one that is too wordy for her? Or is the one for adult women?  My son has the teen boy version of Our Bodies/Ourselves and he really liked it.

 

You can also contact your local Planned Parenthood and see what information they have. Some have bigger educational departments than others. But maybe they are hosting some workshops etc that she could attend?

 

 

[Ameena]

Well, my church uses the OWL curriculum.

 

http://www.uua.org/re/owl/

 

I do know that some homeschoolers have bought the curriculum and adjusted it to use with one kid. But if there is a UU church nearby you might contact them and see if they are offering OWL for her age? Our church always welcomed OWL participants from the community. There is a middle school level (grades 4-6) and a high school level (8-10th grade). The middle school level is mostly about puberty and becoming teenagers. The 8th grade version is about decision making, values clarification, and factual information about sex, sexuality, birth control, gender identity, relationships etc It is pretty darn thorough. Ours always ends with a visit to the local Planned Parenthood so the kids know where it is and what it offers. One of the OWL teachers at our church is both a member and a staff member of PP so it works out well.

 

And I think there is a Our Bodies/Ourselves that is geared towards teen girls? Is that the one that is too wordy for her? Or is the one for adult women?  My son has the teen boy version of Our Bodies/Ourselves and he really liked it.

 

You can also contact your local Planned Parenthood and see what information they have. Some have bigger educational departments than others. But maybe they are hosting some workshops etc that she could attend?

 

Sounds very interesting. I am not sure dd would be willing to do a group setting type class though - she is very private when it comes to this issue because she is not really wanting to grow up, yet she is quickly catching up to her friends who are a year & 2 years older. I am not sure if the 8th grade class would cover this material too late for her though. On one hand I don't want to encourage her at a young age, yet on the other hand I'm trying to be realistic based on my own experience as an early bloomer, and I know by the age of 12 I was a hormonal boy crazy mess that only stayed single because of my dad & the fact that all the neighbor boys were afraid of him. If there were something like the high school class, but geared towards middle schoolers it would be perfect.

 

The Our Bodies Ourselves I have is the adult one from the 90's. Didn't realize there was a teen version - will have to look for that next time I am at BN.

I will check into PP. I don't know that ours does much educational stuff anymore - most of their services were taken over by the local hospital system which only does an abstinence class :(

[redsquirrel]

It looks like it is is for all teens, not just girls or boys, which I like better

 

http://www.amazon.com/Changing-Bodies-Lives-Expanded-Relationships/dp/081292990X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1415302907&sr=8-1&keywords=our+bodies+ourselves+teen

 

And no kids that age are thrilled to be in a group setting when talking about their bodies etc, lol. But the group leaders are trained to deal with it. I have taught the 4-6 grade class (I don't teach it to 4th graders...too early IMO) and it goes a lot better than you might think. The older class is quite age appropriate for 8-9th graders, my older son has taken it and he loved it.

 

And I am curious about what you think the class would 'encourage'? In my experience of teaching both the first grade OWL and the 5-6th grade OWL and seeing my husband go through the training to be a 8-9th grade OWL class and teach it I don't see sexuality education as encouraging much beyond thoughtful discussion. I have seen it dismissed as irrelevant when a kid is too young. That is why we don't offer the 4-7th grade class to 4th graders. For the vast majority of them, puberty is seen as being too far away to be of interest.  They don't find the information relevant and they tune out. Once they get a year or so older though, they get plenty interested and ask some great questions. They ask anonymously, everyone is required to put an index card in the question box at the beginning and end of every meeting. They have to write something on the card, song lyrics or 'blah blah blah' or 'I don't have a question' etc. But you would be surprised at how often they take the opportunity to ask some fantastic questions. 

 

And the website for planned parenthood has for teens is useful as well. I made sure my son knows how to get to it if he needs factual information.

 

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teens

Because he might have  question that he doesn't want to ask me or his dad, and I want him to know where he can find reality based information.

 

 

 

[Leav97]

I was going to post the same information on OWL.  Our church only does the 7-9th grade.  We're trying to expand to include the Sr. High OWL but the Senior high kids are too busy.  Most of the kids are comfortable by the end of class.  The classroom facilitators are trained to make everyone comfortable. But, you can buy it and use it without the class too.

 

http://www.uua.org/re/owl/

[Ameena]

It looks like it is is for all teens, not just girls or boys, which I like better

 

http://www.amazon.com/Changing-Bodies-Lives-Expanded-Relationships/dp/081292990X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1415302907&sr=8-1&keywords=our+bodies+ourselves+teen

 

And no kids that age are thrilled to be in a group setting when talking about their bodies etc, lol. But the group leaders are trained to deal with it. I have taught the 4-6 grade class (I don't teach it to 4th graders...too early IMO) and it goes a lot better than you might think. The older class is quite age appropriate for 8-9th graders, my older son has taken it and he loved it.

 

And I am curious about what you think the class would 'encourage'? In my experience of teaching both the first grade OWL and the 5-6th grade OWL and seeing my husband go through the training to be a 8-9th grade OWL class and teach it I don't see sexuality education as encouraging much beyond thoughtful discussion. I have seen it dismissed as irrelevant when a kid is too young. That is why we don't offer the 4-7th grade class to 4th graders. For the vast majority of them, puberty is seen as being too far away to be of interest.  They don't find the information relevant and they tune out. Once they get a year or so older though, they get plenty interested and ask some great questions. They ask anonymously, everyone is required to put an index card in the question box at the beginning and end of every meeting. They have to write something on the card, song lyrics or 'blah blah blah' or 'I don't have a question' etc. But you would be surprised at how often they take the opportunity to ask some fantastic questions. 

 

And the website for planned parenthood has for teens is useful as well. I made sure my son knows how to get to it if he needs factual information.

 

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teens

Because he might have  question that he doesn't want to ask me or his dad, and I want him to know where he can find reality based information.

 

I don't think it's so much that the class would encourage it per say, but on the other hand discussion can lead to action sometimes. I can easily see her going to this class, then coming home & discussing it with her friends {2 girls & 2 boys, all her age or a few years older} who live next door & 2 houses down. While her friends are mostly good kids, they are much much more wise in this area than dd & sometimes the topics they discuss get a bit adult. I think also I was possibly envisioning the class differently than it may actually be.

 

But I would like dd to beat the odds of my family - most of my sisters {and several of my brothers} all had kids before turning 18. My sister L had twins at 13. While I was the odd one out {I was 21 when dd was born, and considered an old maid by most of my siblings}, I can easily see how dd would think that it's okay / normal to be sexually active / have kids at a young age from looking at our family & those of her friends. I guess what I'm looking for in a program really is something with the mindset of "Okay I'd rather you weren't sexually active at this age. Or for the next couple of years at least. But if you choose to be sexually active, here is how to do it safely & hopefully not end up with a bunch of kids before you finish high school like your aunts / uncles / your friends older siblings."

 

 

Not sure if I explained that very well or not....sorry. I hate that I'm having to think about this much earlier than I had planned due to dd's early blooming.

[Momling]

" It's perfectly normal" by Robbie Harris is aimed at ages 10+ and not particularly wordy... Lots of cartoons. But it gets into the details of birth control and STDs and such, so it's sort of a step beyond Care and Keeping of You.

[Farrar]

Seconding all the above. It's Perfectly Normal is a good classic with a lot of sex ed info nicely simplified. One of my boys has What's Happening to My Body? and we like that one - there's a girl version and a boy version. That's more like The Care and Keeping of You, but it also has some sex ed stuff worked in there.

 

OWL is the gold standard in sex ed though, IMO. But if you aren't already in a UU community to do the program, then I get that.

[Momling]

In our town it's not the Unitarians, but the UCC churches that offer OWL. You might check with them too. Kids of all (or no) religious backgrounds are welcome.

[redsquirrel]

The OWL classes for 1st and 4-6grades use the "It's perfectly normal" as their at home reading. But not the same book each age group, lol. There is one about babies and one about puberty.

 

And OWL was written as a joint program of the UUA and the UCC. In my first grade OWL curriculum there are bible based parts specific to the UCC. I think now it is a separate addendum? I am not sure. We have both churches in town, but when one or the other is having OWL, especially the 8-9th grade OWL, we alert the other group in case anyone wants to join in.

[nwmama]

Cycle Savvy by Toni Weschler is not really sex ed but it is a great book for girls about how and why their body does what it does.

[anabelneri]

We use the "It's Perfectly Normal" series and really like it. And I really like the "Cycle Savvy" book, but it wasn't as appropriate for my 11yo (who has hit puberty) as this one: Everything a Girl Needs to Know about Her Periods https://www.amazon.com/dp/1569065551/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_4MExub06FKC3M

[IsabelC]

My 9yo currently has Ready Set Grow by Lynda Madaras (I also bought the companion What's Happening to My Body by the same author, but on pre-reading I found it unsuitable for Ms. 9 at this stage and have put it away for later). It's not perfect, but it covers most of the puberty / sex stuff they need to know. Once we have gone through all of that I am planning to do some more stuff around body image, feminism and the like. I did find the Scarleteen website which has very comprehensive information, however it is geared toward older teens and young adults, definitely not appropriate for the pre-teen set.

 

I personally think that the ongoing conversations you have with your older kids, together with the attitudes about bodies, sex and relationships that you model, are far more important than which books you choose to offer them.