How do you re-center yourself?

[Incognito]

I could use some ideas for how to change a bad day into a good one.  

 

I have one screamer.  There is a lot of screaming some days, and it really wears me out.  FWIW, said child is 2 1/2.  Things are a lot better than they have been, but they still aren't really livable for me.  

 

I find that even when things are better for the child afterwards, I am shell-shocked and exhausted.  I sort of go into survival mode for the day, and lose productivity and enthusiasm for anything (at least until naptime ;)).  

 

Today I intentionally laid out in the sunshine for 20 minutes and that helped some.  Usually there isn't sunshine, though, and I usually can't be alone for 20 minutes.  So, do any of you have good ideas for things you do to re-center your days that can be done with younger children around?

 

Thank you.

[*Lulu*]

I don't have time for a long post now. I'll be back later.

 

I just wanted to stop and give you the ((((hugs)))) I know you need.

[regentrude]

When mine were little, what always helped reset the mood was to have a snack and head outside to the park. We spent almost every afternoon outside, and that was great for my sanity.

[Catherine]

Yes to what Regentrude says. If there is a place where they can be safely contained, yet able to play, that is ideal. I used to go to the McDonald's playplace and enjoy 10 minutes of relative quiet and peace. Park was not good for us because 2 of my 3 kids used to run away in public places so the constant vigilance required of me at the park was tiresome.

[*Lulu*]

My oldest at 2 1/2 was a sensory nightmare. He was verbal, but not able to articulate many times what the source of his discomfort was. So he would melt down....and regain his composure feeling great. Meanwhile I felt like I had done bloody battle and was ready to raise the white flag.

 

-Outdoor time helped. A.whole.stinkin.lot.

 

-So did toy rotation. I could apply redirection if I caught the melt down fast enough and allow him a visit to my "toy store" where the toys I rotated in and out lived. He could pick a box and we could go play with the "new" items.

 

-food. Food is also a valid survival strategy. Get some protein in both of your systems. Amazing how a little splash of juice in the water sippy cup, a piece of cheese, and a pretzel rod, or some honey & peanut butter dip for our apple slices turns a sour attitude around.

 

For myself, music. I would play piano or listen to my iPod while he was playing. I would lay on the floor and let him drive cars over my back. I would snuggle up with him and the dog and a good book to read aloud.

 

The key I find, even now, is to find a way to get all of us laughing. That seems to be the best medicine ever found!

[trulycrabby]

Outdoor sand box, if possible. DS10 would spend hours in it; I would help him and enjoy the sunshine.

[Incognito]

Thanks.  Lots of good ideas of things to do with the kids to make it through - and great reminders of things that will work well now in the summer (park).    

 

I am wondering if there are any more "ME" ideas - like a snack or listening to music - things *I* can do for *ME* which alter *my* mood.  Being outside does help, but realistically the weather in my area isn't conducive to that 3/4 of the year.  Well - we COULD go outside, but the weather depresses me, so it wouldn't make me happier. ;)  

 

Getting us all laughing is a great idea too - I may have to use that brown and sticky joke from the other thread.  I think that would go over well here. :)  I already sometimes choose to go on an errand that is sort of far way, so we have quiet audiobook time in the car (and the toddler is strapped in and usually happy :)).  I have used coming on the computer, but it's too frequent to keep doing that. 

 

 

[jaderbee]

There this magic potion called wine... ;)

 

So I do a hand off with DH in the evening and I abscond my room and read, have complete thoughts, etc. Pilates or a walk has helped too. Sometimes, during the day I load all the kids in the van and plug in an earbud and listen to an audiobook. My eldest was a colic baby so I get the screaming. It's awful. Sadly she has choleric personality, so even at age 7 there's an almost daily blow up. They are getting fewer and farther between though. :) I hope your child outgrows it soon too.

[Snow]

I find that even when things are better for the child afterwards, I am shell-shocked and exhausted. I sort of go into survival mode for the day, and lose productivity and enthusiasm for anything (at least until naptime ;)).

 

 

I relate with this more than I can even explain. Sometimes I feel like I'm just too sensitive for this parenting gig. They bounce back like nothing ever happened and I'm still left reeling.

 

First, Ive gotten better at recognizing just how personally I take things. So when I'm in the moment, I talk to myself about it in as rational, calming and detached terms as I can.

 

Music has really helped me lately and I can usually steal a few minutes of headphones time here and there. Nothing depressing or further aggravating but a few well chosen songs has helped.

 

Also, I do have some positive quotations or phrases I think about and that helps some.

 

Honestly, I haven't found the answer to bouncing back quickly. But I think I'm better at accepting my needs and that awareness has strengthened me. It's okay for me to need some rebound time and some space.

 

But i do recognize there's a time I need to let it go and move on. There's something beautiful about how easily my kids can let things go. I view their ability to do it as a lesson i should learn from them. It is inspiring, once I'm out of the thick of it.

 

Hugs to you mama. You're definitely not alone with this.

[*Lulu*]

Thinking about it some more.,,,,

 

 

-I color. I have grown up coloring books and good quality colored pencils. I started as a way to help handle my anxiety, but it is very centering. The kids all have their own coloring books and think sitting with me and coloring is fabulous.

 

-exercise. Throw a Just Dance party in the living room. Turn on wii fit and do some hoola hooping. Toss a yoga DVD in or a Zumba DVD.

 

-sudoku. Get some sort of puzzle book that appeals to you and do a bit.

[SemiSweet]

I have a screamer too, she's almost 8 now and her episodes are much less frequent, but when they're over I have a very hard time coming back into our relationship. Things that help me: a long walk (bonus that it also contains the baby), reading, taking a shower, crochet, I've recently taken up calligraphy so I might try that too. Good luck, I know it's so hard sometimes.

[Danestress]

I agree - go outside. Unless it is pouring rain and cold, it's always better to get kids outside and always better for my sanity.