How old for table time?

[Desert Strawberry]

Approximately what age do you expect a young child to sit quietly through a lesson, read-aloud or other quiet work?

 

At what age do you expect participation?

 

When do you stop excusing a child to go play when they get wiggly and require they stay and listen?

 

 

[wendyroo]

I expect Elliot (turned 3 at the end of May) to sit at the table for the 20ish minutes of learning time devoted to content subjects.  We spend the first 5ish minutes of that time doing FLL, the next 5ish minutes I read from a science or history or character book like a picture book, Aesop's fable, Usborne encyclopedia or The Children's Book of Virtues, and the rest of the time we pull out the art supplies for the boys to draw a picture related to our reading and narrate a caption which I neatly write on their papers.  Elliot is not required to participate, nor must he sit absolutely silently, but he isn't allowed to be needlessly disruptive.  If he chooses not to participate, he is welcome to work (aka scribble) in some cheap preschool workbooks or he can chooses one busy bag from the bin.

 

Peter is 5.25 and he is expected to participate for 40 - 50 minutes each day.  10 - 15 minutes of math, 5 - 10 minutes of OPGTR, 5ish minutes of handwriting and then the 20 minutes of content subjects.  He can focus better when he stands, so he is rarely sitting and rarely still, but he is paying attention and participating.

 

Wendy

[Clear Creek]

Age six or first grade, whichever comes later. And then I make sure that lessons only last an hour.

[Desert Strawberry]

Age six or first grade, whichever comes later. And then I make sure that lessons only last an hour.

Nothing at all before first grade? Or is participation optional?

[Walking-Iris]

Preschool age. But then again I keep any focused work like that short with younger children. My 4 year has participated in art and science/history projects as young as 2. I keep read alouds short too and allow playing with play doh or legos etc while I read, as long as they are listening and not getting too distracted or loud. I don't like basically reading aloud to myself! ;)

[Mandy in TN]

Maybe 30min in K at 5-6yo

 

You can expect about an hour per grade until middle school and then a leveling off.

So, a first grader should be able to sit still for about an hour of seat work, and a fourth grader should have no more than four hours. After that, it sort of levels off depending on the child.

 

I am not saying that a first grade child should only spend an hour on education. I am suggesting that a hour of sitting still in one-on-one academic tutoring is a reasonable expectation. I am not including instrument practice or read alouds/ co-reading snuggled up together on the couch. I am not including science experiments or nature studies or projects or experiential learning. I am not including time at soccer practice or gymnastics class. I am not including adding the cost of groceries or figuring the tip. I am not including any religious instruction or praying or reading aloud of religious materials.

 

I am just talking about basic one-on-one academics where the child is sitting still, receiving instruction, and providing output in a situation that for the most part doesn't engage his full body but primarily just engages his mind. With this situation, an hour per grade is fine. Sure, some kids can sit still and listen and provide output and retain information for longer periods, but an hour per grade is normal.

 

HTH-

Mandy

[Clear Creek]

Nothing at all before first grade? Or is participation optional?

 

Nothing at a table where the child is supposed to sit quietly and listen to me teach, no. Kindergarten in my house was sitting on my lap on the couch for 15-20 minutes working on reading every day. Everything else was taught through play, through being read to, or just naturally throughout the day. My youngest thought it was fun to bring a coloring book or R&S preschool book to the table when the older two were doing school and pretend to do school as well, but that never lasted more than five minutes before he ran off to do something else :tongue_smilie:

[Rachel]

I didn't expect anything from my son until kindergarten, he was 5.5. He was able most days to sit for an hour but my goal was 20-30 minutes

 

My then 3.5 year old sat with us most days, participation was completely optional.

[MinivanMom]

I start expecting it at age 4 1/2 for my girls and age 5 for my boys, but my expectations for length are very short in the beginning (5-10 min for a single subject, no more than 30 min altogether). By the start of 1st grade (which has been about 6 1/2 for most of my kids), my expectations for length have become 20-30 min for a single subject and 2 hours altogether.

 

I have a 4 yr old boy right now, and I don't expect anything from him. I don't do anything formal with him, but he will sometimes listen in on a book or climb up to the table to color while we work. If he gets wiggly or distracting then I will send him away to play. I'll probably wait another 6 months before requiring anything from him, but when we make the switch I will expect him to sit quietly and participate until I dismiss him. I think this is really important in terms of setting expectations for behavior and helping him develop good habits. I would rather spend only 10 min with good behavior and I dismiss him, than try to spend longer with wiggly, silly behavior and have him potentially think the wiggly behavior is getting him out of school work when I finally send him to go play.

[Tanikit]

My youngest has sat through read alouds (aimed at her) since she was 2. My 6 year old still does not sit still through a read aloud though she remains quiet and does listen - I always allow her to be busy with something as she needs to move. Again the younger (age 3) sits through lessons, sits at table time, completes coloring activities etc that are directed at her and she plays quietly by herself when I am busy with the older. The older interrupts my youngers lessons (we have worked hard on this to prevent it and she is getting better), she does not sit still at the table for her own lessons and falls off her chair frequently, she can be present in the lesson for a good half hour or more if necessary, but she cannot sit still - she is just that type of child. In the last month or two her independent reading has taken off and she can hold the book steady enough to read it and turn the pages, but she curls herself up in a toy box full of soft toys where I think the rocking motion of the whole contraption enables her to still move and yet read. 

 

If either gets wiggly and I want them there then they must stay - at least in the same room. I judge what my expectations should be and send them out to play quite soon afterwards - but then I have trained them in this some by saying initially - stay for one minute then you can go to play then stay til the end of this song or stay til the end of this page (read aloud) and so on until the length of time I am expecting can be reasonably long but every change is done gradually - especially for my elder child. I expect participation from very young - as young as 2, but then what I am expecting participation in is age appropriate (if we are doing swimming then I expect my 3 year old to get in the pool - I won't force it, but since it is expected she does. If we are coloring a picture, then I expect her to color too - again if she makes one scribble and then leaves that is fine, but she doesn't...) That may sound bad, but actually I have more fights with my 3 year old when I expect her to come to the supper table and eat supper - that is one thing she is not keen to participate in and it is expected even if I have to pick her up and place her there myself (something I frequently have to do).