apennieformythoughts Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Hello everyone! So, something kind of odd happened recently. Long story short, my husband and I have been trying for a while to have a baby with no success. I was randomly browsing the site for foster care adoptions through the state the other night. The page was taking forever to load because I'm using my phone as a hotspot so things are slow. I want a baby, but I was looking at all of the kids anyway. I was waiting for one picture to load because it was a sibling group that included a 2 year old. As I was waiting, another picture loaded first. They were children that I recognized. I used to go to a church that their family attended. I babysat the 3 little girls a few times. We weren't friends, but polite acquaintances. We moved and lost touch, I believe the last time we saw them was in 2008. I know their father passed away in an accident a few years ago. I feel called to see what I can do. I talked to my husband and my children. I'm being realistic in thinking about this. We have very little space. As in a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom mobile home. We do live on private property though, with over an acre of land. We do own our house. We struggle financially from time to time. I stay at home and homeschool our girls, so we live on one income. They are 9, 7, 6, and 4. We have an almost 11 year old and an 8 year old. 5 of those kids will be girls, 1 is a boy (the 4 year old). We have house repairs we would have to make. Some soft spots in our flooring (one by our front door and in our back bathroom). Duct work, replacing our kitchen Island (we removed it and never got around to putting one back in place which means we have the outlet recessed into the floor). A bunch of stuff. I sent an email to the agency and they said they forwarded my email to their worker. I have no idea what's going to happen next. I'm assuming we will have to foster them first? What sorts of things will I have to make sure are repaired, if necessary? How does the adoption process work when they are officially available for adoption through the system? I know that our state will cover adoption costs and home study fees since it is a foster care adoption. Is there anyone who is familiar with this or has experience with it? What sorts of things am I looking at? What am I not thinking of? Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebeccaS Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 The laws and rules of foster care and adoption vary greatly from state to state. Even county to county within a state. I can tell you how things would be, based on where I live (Ohio). If the kids' picture is online, then they are already in permanent custody of the state and available for adoption. Since we've never adopted until after we were a licensed foster to adopt parent, I'm not certain if you'd have to get a foster license first or if you could do the homestudy and straight up adoption. If they wanted you to get your foster license, that would take some time. If they just required the homestudy, then that would be much less time. Since you are not a relative I have less of an idea how it would all work.Six years is a long time. A lot has happened to them. If they aren't with family, then there is a reason. Not necessarily a bad reason, but a reason. The kids will probably have issues with all of this-death of parent, foster care, no family taking them, possibly separate foster homes now if they can't find a home that will take all 4 of them-it's a lot for little ones to deal with. I would definitely read up on attachment and attachment issues since you've lost touch with the family and didn't know them all that well and it's hard to say what all they've been through. Also, in my state, mixed genders cannot share a bedroom when over the age of 5. So, if all of them are girls, save the 4 year old, you might be looking at giving him his own room while they're not legally yours. Is that going to be possible? Homeschooling and single income have never been a factor in denying us foster children. :) In fact, there have been times that they preferred the kids going to a SAHM if at all possible. (We had a girl with a traumatic head injury who needed daily, extensive therapy and another time we had infant triplets. Both were better suited to a SAHM.) The home being in mid repair should not be a problem either.I know that this doesn't answer all your questions. Some of them can only be answered by the agency. But, hopefully it gives you something until you hear back from the worker! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 When I was a foster care social worker in PA many years ago, foster parents could not have more than a total of six kids in their home. I don't know where you live or what your state's regulations are, but it's something to consider. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Each child in the home must have a certain amount of square footage space in a bedroom, and that many girls would likely not be allowed to share one bedroom due to the space rule. As others have stated, mixed genders may not share rooms over a certain age. Your income and the state of your home would be a factor in considering foster care and adoption. Whether or not this impedes your ability to foster or adopt depends on the requirements of the agency you will work with. Regulations vary widely from state to state, though, so a local agency could best answer specific questions. Hope that helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Yes, our state, too, requires a certain amount of square footage bedroom space per child, and I think we cannot put boys/girls in the same room. You'll probably need to start, minimum, with a home study. But it's possible, at least in our state, to complete your home study while children have been temporarily placed with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apennieformythoughts Posted June 25, 2014 Author Share Posted June 25, 2014 Thank you for the replies! We live in MN, and the rules sound similar to OH. Even though they are already available for adoption, I think we would be required to foster them for a certain period of time to make sure everyone adjusts. Again, I haven't heard back from their worker, so I do have a lot of questions about what this would entail. When my husband called the agency (I don't know if agency is the right word, since they are available through the state), the lady said that they were in desperate need of placing these children. Which could just be something they say to tug on your heartstrings, I don't know. I do know that it will be harder for them to get adopted because they are older and a sibling group. In all reality, it seems kind of silly to even contemplate this. I always wanted to foster when I was a teenager. I was placed in foster care for a summer when I was 12. I lived with my aunt and uncle, so it was different... but they fostered back in the 70's and 80's and had over 200 children placed with them, some of who are still part of their family today. They inspired me. Then life happened and those plans just never came to be. Now, besides having to make some repairs (none of which are condemn worthy repairs... just stuff that we've let slide because we are procrastinators), and figuring out the space issue, it seems like it could be possible. I don't know, maybe my husband and I could switch to one of the smaller rooms and give all of the girls the master bedroom? Bunk beds? I think there is a square footage requirement here too, but I'm not sure what it is. The littlest one would probably have to have his own room. We would be cramped. And we can't provide a fancy lifestyle free of worry. But we can provide a stable, loving home. We can provide a family. We can provide a place so they don't have to be split up. I'm thinking with my heart and not my head. :-/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 We would be cramped. And we can't provide a fancy lifestyle free of worry. But we can provide a stable, loving home. We can provide a family. We can provide a place so they don't have to be split up. I'm thinking with my heart and not my head. :-/. Kids don't need a fancy lifestyle. They need parents who love them. If you can love them, then you are a good family for them. My oldest daughter, adopted at 12, had a lot of issues. It was very hard for us, and I frequently questioned whether I was the right mother for her. It turns out that I am. We have worked through our issues, and dd (now 20) is thriving. You sound like you have a very open heart. Bless you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.