Convicted Sex Offender as neighbor - What would you do? Please!

[WTMCassandra]

I have been lurking on this thread for a while and have appreciated the different facets of replies. I have one additional suggestion that I would like to put forward:

 

Put a tall fence on your side of the property line in those woods. A nice tall, sturdy, metal fence, perhaps with a strand or two of barbed wire pointing out on the top--sort of like those around military installations.

 

I really think this could go a long way toward your peace of mind w/o involving firearms. Could someone cut the fence? Sure, but then of course you can have them arrested. It would eliminate "easy" targets. Your children could roam in the woods to their hearts' content without leaving you freaking out at home.

 

I'm sorry you're having to go through this and that it's "triggering" you.:grouphug:

[FO4UR]

Better to know the danger, than not. Better to not have the danger at all, but that isn't going to happen in this world! :grouphug:

 

Keep praying, and teaching your dc, and keeping them close.

[Testimony]

I use to investigate child abuse and I have put sex offenders behind bars in the past.

 

I would be very careful with my children. First of all, educate your children about dealing with familiar strangers. Most real offenders the children knew the perpetrator. It is rarely the case of a total stranger. Educate your children on good touch and bad touch. Educate them about talking to you whenever someone does bad touch. I always tell my boys that if the adults threatens to harm their parents to tell anyway. Some perpetrators have been known to threaten the child by saying, "if you tell, I'll hurt your mommy or daddy and you don't want them to get hurt." Tell the child over and over to tell you. Let them know that the person is saying that so that he/she can continue to hurt them.

 

Second, whenever a child has a drastic change in behavior people say they might be on drugs, but they could have been molested also. Look for the same signs that they use for abusing drugs, except the glossy eyes, but the behavior and mood changes.

 

Overall, the key is to educate your children about their environment and the people around them. You know what scares me is I have boys. I feel they are more at risk than girls. I have found that there are a higher percetange of girls that will report abuse than boys. Boys need to be more educated and made aware of male perpetrators as much as girls.

 

It is frightening, but don't shelter your children from this. Make them aware. The defense is a good offense.

 

Blessings to you on your homeschooling journey!

 

Sincerely,

Karen

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/NewJersey

[Sahamamama]

First, let me tell you that I when I was 12 years old, I was raped.

 

Now, that's blunt enough, isn't it? The shock a reader might feel in reading this is intentional -- imagine the impact of that really happening to a child. You, and I, don't need to imagine it.

 

You said that your daughter is the same age you were when you were abused. Years ago my counselor told me, "Someday, you are going to have daughters (I have three), and when they are 12 years old, it's gonna all come back to you." They are young yet, but I can see down the road that he knew what he was talking about. It's true, I have been "through" counseling, whatever that means, but I am still living life. There is no "getting over it." Ever. There is, however, the rest of life, and that has certainly been worth living.

 

You will simply have to decide whether or not your children ARE safe and whether or not you will be able to FEEL they are safe. For survivors of sexual abuse, these are both important. Control is important, but don't make a god out of it. What, really, do any of us control?

 

Why did God allow "it" to happen to you? Honey, in almost 30 years of asking that question, I have come to believe there is no answer. Why am I alive? Why didn't I get cut up into fish bait and left on the beach, as they promised to do to me? Not really sure about that one, but here I am! :D Living and breathing and **** GLAD ABOUT IT.

 

You are strong, too. Just think, you are still living and breathing and (I hope) **** glad about it. Your children are going to be okay. Not necessarily SAFE with a known sex offender a quarter-mile away.

 

Me, I personally would probably be freaking out about that house and that person right now, and my husband knows this. I think he gets it, sort of. I'm not sure what to say about the whole house business. Whew. You are in a jam. But what place on this Painful Planet truly IS safe? Nowhere I've ever been.

 

I understand the urgent need on your part to protect your children. It's stronger (and sometimes misunderstood) in people like us, but it's okay, too, I think. We know reality. We met it head-on, at a young age, and didn't think that life was tinted pink. We know evil, and don't want it living around the bend. What will you do? Let us know what you choose.