Don't know how long you are staying or if you are set on Mystic, excuse if already answered in other posts as I haven't got that far yet, BUT the libraries have passes for free Mystic Seaport usually 2 adults/2 children the Mystic Aquarium is usually reduced may or may not be day specific. Have your brother go to his local library & see what passes they have for free stuff usually a bunch. I've never been to Norwich library, but it's the next town over from me. I do know Colchester library has $$ and alot to offer if you come up lacking in Norwich. If you want just look on surrounding towns libraries & they usually list what passes they have, just need CT library card. I know even our little town with no $ gets some as do all libraries in CT can't remeber which ones off the top of my head. If you're staying for a bit let me know & I'll send off list of things in area. A ton of American History things & such. Have a good visit!

O.K. if you recognize my name you have known I have shared alot in the past. So I won't rehash the past, but ask those who have dealt with or are dealing with NPD parents & siblings who are getting pulled back into the drama. How to take a stand, cut ties, & not feel like a total "evil spawn of society" because of your choice in dealing with it? Let me preface it by saying I don't feel like an evil spawn-just the looks, thoughts you can read when you say you don't have contact with your family anymore & those from "sane families" look at you like you are the spawn of Satan to cut off your family-you must be the crazy one, because "nice" people don't do "that". I'll try to condense it short came from "dysfunctional" family from many sides, moved out at 18, found out more as time progressed, moved farther away, & finally cut mother off in March totally. I ignored all overtures of cards & didn't cash checks to dc. Younger sister who's BP finally started to separate also & decided she was ready to call it quits with dm also. Fast forward to my "Christmas present" from my only sister/sibling & the only one left in my family who I have. All other relatives of mother are out of state & we only met a few times, father died when I was 17, so living is just my sister & mother. I spoke to sister on Thursday & all was fine. I was coming over the next week to do Christmas as I had to work all weekend. I was a little down as this is the first Christmas since "I've come out" & renounced Christianity after 39 years, so a little "off" as to what Christmas celebrations are. I don't believe any more & so am looking at it as more of a cultural winter renewal celebration of peace & goodwill rather than what I had in the past. Add to it I have started to work third shift every weekend & I have been feeling a little disconnected to family as I have no time anymore as I sleep all day -so I was kinda' sad about Christmas in general. So I woke up on Christmas & did our thing with dc was about to call sister to wish her a good day & got the the every infusing/gushing call from mother about all the Christmas good wishes, bs from her -which just was the last straw. I called my sister to ask her if she got the same only to be told my mother just left her house. What?? Last I knew she was in the best place she had been in YEARS I mean hospitalization, social anxiety disorder, depressions, etc. She had actually painted her kitchen & was happy! Now you invite her over for Christmas because she accidently ran into her at the store. I just can't even understand it! I have spent years trying to prop up my sister, being a surrogate mother to her, feel guilty for not protecting her from the abuse because I thought it was just me when it should have been my mother to protect us & now I'm the one on the outside. WT@ I say that as it's now going to be the holidays, birthdays which are the only time I see sister as she won't drive to my house alone as she is "triggered" when she drives out of her comfort zone, so her dh has to drive if she comes to my house. The mother will be there so I can "choose" whether I want to come or not. So since "I have a problem" with dm -NOW I am the problem. Alright I get the role I have been cast as & let's just say I am not playing "the script". I just can't do it anymore. I refuse to have contact with either of them now. I just can't be sucked into it anymore. I have cut of sister as I didn't get together, told her you did what you had to do & I'll have to do what I have to do. I have so much more to say, but I don't want to be as blunt as I would like to be, because I know it's just a matter of time before she goes back to her normal state which isn't good & don't want to be the catalyst. I would bet my last pint of blood on how it is going to play out which is "honeymoon" phase where sister can tolerate/fool herself "oh our mother is changed/regrets the past", that wears off, & she is her delusional self who refuses to acknowledge what she did & allowed to happen. She makes her comments on "her reality" which triggers sister & she falls into her depression. If you have read all this I just want to say "I really can't stand family". Any books to suggest or just putting my garbage out there as I know the friends I have that have similar types of backgrounds are the only ones who can understand, the rest just look at you like "you crazy b((*&h". I know they don't say it, but you know it's the thought. So if my crazy makes anyone else feel their crazy isn't alone I have done my job. If this is too much sharing for some I'll say I've read quite a bit more detail in some threads. So just pass my posts on if they don't sit right. Advice appreciated, but please no flames about Christianity or how I should pray about it. I don't adhere to the concept of forgiving abusers etc. I believe there are moral lines when crossed an "I'm sorry" doesn't cut it. Especially when one doesn't admit they did anything or ask for it. I am happy to move on in life & have learned lessons from my past. I don't know why some get those lessons. I'm O.K. with who I am. It's taken a long time, but regardless of any religion I believe wanton cruelty & abuse is wrong. No heaven & no hell to punish. You reap what you sow, yes a religious euphemism-you mistreat people you lose the right/opportunity to know that person. You will attract/reap what you give out. It comes back to you in this life. One shot, no second chances, it all plays out here & now. What you see & do is what you get. Not meaning to offend, but it's where I'm at now. I totally understand Christianity & various other religions, but I don't subscribe anymore. So praying about it isn't going to help as I don't believe in it. What can I do/read in the reality of this day to move forward/drop mental baggage of feeling guilty of leaving my sister behind to deal with what I know will take place? Should I "try" & stay in my sisters life to pick up the pieces yet again or should I just bow out & hope anything that happens her dh will deal with, but things aren't really solid on that front from ds "sharing". Just musing/thinking/processing/ out loud.

A 36" x 24" print of Gustav Klimt's "Tree of Life" in a contemporary dark wood frame on a medium purple accent wall with 2 oil rubbed bronze/circular mirrored wall sconces on either side of painting. They hold teal mosaic candle holders. On the side of bed on other wall I have Gustav Klimt's "the Kiss" in a much smaller size. I didn't want it glaring at the general public & dc. I'm fine with it, but don't need to make guests double take, some might be not so appreciative. Obviously not in eartquake country or would reconsider choices. We don't have a headboard as we have a dark wood contemporary platform bed.

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I have heard Sodium Lauryl Sulfate is an irritant that can bring them on. I just got over one & got Tom's of Maine Clean & Gentle Care toothpaste to try & avoid them. I can't say for sure it works, but I had one foe 2 weeks that wasn't going away with my regular method of salt water, so I thought it couldn't hurt any.

Everyone I find wants me to do a survey first or sign up for something. My PBS doesn't have it online until it airs in Jan. Am I not searching correctly?? Thanks I love it!

They used to cary at Walmart which is where I found out about it. Mine doesn't carry it anymore, Amazon has good prices if you get multiples or you could try DrugStore.com also. If you get multiples it was $3 a stick. Unscented is a lemon/citrus scent due to ingridients, scented is more woodsy something a man wouldn't mind using if for dh & I didn't find too strong for me, but I like stronger perfumes. HTH

I have had 2 pairs of LL Bean ones: one with backs fit loose like Dansko's, others backless & more padded collar fit much better. Best ones yet are Land's End ones with backs for $50 regulary, I got on sale for $35. They have lots of colors & fit without slipping. I know they (Dansko)say it's how they fits, but for most people who wear in healthcare or on feet alot get blisters & experience roll especially when walking briskly on possibly wet floors. I know someone who just got this weekend & is bringing them back. They were fitted by store clerk. HTH

I was thinking of some camping type thing, but thought I should stick to his service. Glad to know I wasn't out of line. I'm going with a good bottle of wine & maybe a camping thing he might not think of getting for himself. Thanks for the feedback & solidifying my shopping plan.

What is a customary retirement gift for 21 years of service as Lietenant Commander aboard a sub? We are not military & do not know which subs he was aboard, so nostaglic gifts are out. Money seems to say lack of thought or real recognition of service. So I'm at a loss. If it helps it will be held aboard/at a sub museum where his last station was out of. We know him through church & Boy Scouts if it helps. Any help appreciated. Thanks

Extremely creepy & gross! I hope she's on drugs & it isn't her "natural" self -just soooo weird. Aside from the obvious ? what does a 51 yo have to talk to a empty headed 16 yo (yeah sure). The whole p*rn star/Anna Nicole Smith routine is enough to make anyone gag. She was saving herself because she's a Christian. I know many Christians & their daughters who are saving themselves wouldn't be acting as if they were on drugs, wanted to be a XXX star, & conduct themselves like that. A serious pyschological disconnect/train wreck. Just yuck!

Since I am in CT also & have the mindset of "gifting" curriculum I would post with your local homeschool groups. Just state first come first serve & you pick up. I have done several large multi box donations to Book Samaritan in the past before all the postage increases & with hardcover books I was averaging $25 + a box for large boxes. If you don't know of any groups in your area I know my friend who runs the group in my area is friends with leaders in your area:) if you want me to ask. I just gave away a bunch of stuff a couple of weeke ago & I know the lady was very grateful. I'm sure with the right posting you will find grateful homes for whatever you have. Let me know if I can help with contacts patsarac@sbcglobal.net. Good luck next year with the transition.

I totally second happygrrl's suggestions! Get a rocking haircut that fits your personality & YOU love. Expect some stares & maybe even aversion from friends/family that think you should still color. They may color or think you should because they have issues with aging. It will be a long year & at times you will hate, but it is freeing to not have to worry about "the roots". The one thing I would definately recommend is shampoo for white/gray hair otherwise it can get yellowish/dull. You can get it at Sally's -maybe do 1-2 weekly. I wish you the best HTH.

They have leather, microfiber, distressed nylon, & tapestry. They have scaled back their choices in the distressed nylon category which is what I am partial too. I have 3 distressed nylon: two small & one medium. Also 1 microfiber. I got two off Ebay inexpensively, one someplace other than Ameribag less expensively than directly from Ameribag. The medium is plenty big. That's why I scaled back to small for everyday. I use medium for day trips lunches, books etc. I find very comfortable & they are marketed for people with back problems. I haven't ever had any issues, but find all around handy & many, many great pockets for total organization. I love so much I don't ever plan on switching back to traditional purses except on rare dressy occasion which I have a black leather bag for. Also the nylon washes up great in washer. I hope you find a bag you like & works for you.

I will try to be as brief as I can, but bear with me if it drags on & on (this is something you had better be ready for with a short sale). First off we did buy a short sale & I would never, NEVER, EVER do it again. Although for us it was really the only thing we could afford that wasn't a total fixer upper & we were very ready to be out of where we were at for 6 years. We put in a full $ offer for the listed amount in March 08 & didn't close until August 08. Yes, right before the bubble burst in housing. We had acceptance by seller right away -then the nightmare with the banks began. We were under the assumption if the bank allowed the owners to list for the $ they did they would of course accept an offer which was for the full amount as long as financing was solid. Wrong! It was a game of hot potatoe just as we got an O.K. to proceed from bank they sold to another, this happened three times! The first time O.K., then again, we had to go through & do the entire inspection without any guarentee our offer was accepted potentially losing all that $ on their whim. Then after taking all those months to decide they wanted us to close in less than 2 weeks! We also had to pay extra as our lock-in expired because of all their stalling & when it got to the the closing they couldn't come up with a clear title as it had been sold so many times. All in all now I can say I'm glad we did it, but it was not a nightmare I will never re-live. Add into this trying to sell our existing property we had to carry for another 6 months post closure of short sale because the housing market was starting to contract & we couldn't put on the market for fear we would be left with nowhere to live if it did sell & we couldn't close on the short sale. All I can say is if you don't have any other options, maybe, if not look elsewhere. It is not for the faint of heart & make sure you deal with agents that are specifically actively selling short sales & are up on all the ins & outs. The agent we had only was as accomodating as she was the listing agent for the property & we had our property listed with her. Otherwise for all the hassle she went through really trying to push this through I think another agent would have written us off. The market of short sales may have changed since our experience, but I have never heard anything good from the many I have spoken to IRL & read about online. I would try & network in asking in your specific locale & it may depend on what banks you deal with also. We live in CT & I can't remember all the banks it chaged hands through. Good luck & lots of prayers if you proceed, you'll more than likely going to need it. HTH