Help me find a little clarity (x-post)

[JennifersLost]

I have a habit of taking on too much. I'm trying to stop. I am starting school with my 10th grader tomorrow. We came up with our plan together. He made a schedule for his week based on it and gave it to me.

 

It looks like this week I need to:

 

1. Read Biology to keep up and prepare to do two basic labs this weekend.

 

2. Listen to his Latin translations on four days, plus do some vocab and grammar with him.

 

3. Skim a book we're using for his Planning class (easy bathtub-type read - just a chapter)

 

4. Read about 50 pages of our history book and listen to two Teaching Company lectures.

 

5. Read part of City of God, plus look online for info about the book so we can discuss it.

 

6. Oh, and do some checking/supervising.

 

I think this will be a fairly typical week.

 

In addition, I have four kids. Each of them have 2 - 4 activities. I have to attend/drive to about 5 of those.

 

I am a writer with a finished manuscript that I'm shopping around. I still spend time writing each week, as well.

 

Here's where it gets tricky: I have been considering taking one or two courses myself. One is an accounting class at the local community college. I would go there one morning a week for three hours. The idea is to begin to acquire a skill that actually makes money. The other class is an online writing course (10 weeks) that would give me access to other writers (both teachers and other students) - the idea there is to find people to support my dream/help me improve my skills. I feel like I'm not "getting anywhere" with my writing.

 

To top it off, my 11-year-old announced today that he'd like to consider homeschooling this year. I'm not holding my breath that this will happen - he likes band, sports and the company of other kids. But he is frustrated with how slowly everyone else works. It could happen. I'm going to give him a few days to sit with the idea before I press for a commitment.

 

This is too much, isn't it? On the one hand I want to throw myself into the fray and just "make it all work". On the other hand I want a do-able schedule.

 

But the classes sound so much fun. And they're only half a year.

 

What would you do?

[Parrothead]

What would you do?

I have a tendency to be lazy. If it were my life and my options I'd stick to schooling the kiddos and maybe the online class.

 

I applaud your dedication to :auto: all your kids around. That can be a job in itself.

[LauraL]

I empathize with your habit of taking on too much. In the past, I've tried to juggle teaching my children with a lot of my own "growth opportunities" as well as some part-time work from home. I found that my children were usually the ones who got the short end of the stick. I hope it's okay to post here some thoughts from a mom from another homeschool list I'm on. Her perspective sunk into my soul and spoke to me.

 

>> I've learned a lot in the past six months through personal trials.

I've had a lot on my mind, and after talking this through with

another home educator, I thought I'd post my thoughts. Feel free to

read my ramblings or delete. :)

>

> As mothers, we do a LOT. As home education mothers, our loads

are heavier, though filled with a wonderful joy that help to lighten

that load. Our needs and challenges are unique in comparison to the

rest of the mainstream world, and we meet those needs head on.

>

> Because we choose to educate our children in the home, we face

additional pressures. Those pressures may come from doubting

relatives or spouses...or ourselves. They come from the *school*

world society that believes children can only turn into *normal*

adults if they follow the *normal* pattern most of western society

takes.Peer pressure takes on a whole new meaning for the home

education parent. It relates to us, and not our children.

>

> The doubt we have in ourselves, coupled with the doubt, and

sometimes anger, by those around us, have led us into placing more

pressure upon ourselves. Many feel the need to offer as many

opportunities as possible to our children to meet those doubts. It's

something I've warned many a new home educator. We have so much

going on that it's easy to run out of time to get in any academics.

Is this warning only for new home educators?

>

> Over the summer, I've had the *forced* opportunity to slow

down. I was warned by that still small voice months earlier to slow

down....but I didn't have time. lol How often does that happen with

us? While I'm doing well now, it's been a time of discovery and

personal revelation.

>

> I've discovered the joy in taking care of my home-I've not

experienced that in a long time. I've discovered that I had not

*played* with my children as much as I used to. We all missed that,

and have enjoyed a coming together and closer relationships. I've

discovered that that it's okay if I say *no* and step back. Things

have fallen apart, as I feared, in certain home education aspects if

I didn't personally hold it together. I discovered that it's not up

to me to be responsible for everything if no one else steps up. I've

also found that others can get quite upset when I have said no, but

still others have understood and stepped up, realizing that they can

do their part as well.

>

> I'm not alone. After much discussion with other home educators,

I've learned that many of us need to come home. We go and do, and go

and do for our children. We run out of steam in ourselves, and have

nothing left in us of ourselves to give to our children as we've

been so busy driving them to classes, clubs, field trips, and so on.

>

> Am I saying to stop it all ? No, of course not. What I'm saying

is that it's so easy to get caught up in it all, and lose sight of

what we really wanted for our children in the first place. What I'm

asking is for every parent to look at their children's schedules and

ask themselves what is truly needed, and what can wait a year or

two, or really isn't needed at all. What do YOU want in your family,

in your children's education? Are they learning what you think they

should be? Are they getting enough time or is it trying to learn in

between classes? Are they being cheated by being given so much to

do? Only you an answer that.

>

> After four years in dance, driving all over creation for

classes, I noticed my daughter had lost her focus...her desire. We

had much discussion until I finally asked her the question, "If

your friends were not in dance, would you still want to dance?" Her

answer was no. We ended up having a very good time talking about

choosing your own opportunities according to your own goals, and not

someone else's.

>

> We are home more often now. It turned out to be a difficult

transition for me. I never thought it could be so hard to slow down.

Since beginning this new route in our journey, though, our focus has

been better as a family. My kids still have lessons and clubs they

attend, but we are much more careful about not loading up our

schedule. Our children have their entire lives ahead of them, and we

don't have to provide every single opportunity all at once.

>

> What my husband and I DO have to provide is time as a family

and a good quality education. To get that education, they need the

time at home--the chance to have the *time* to explore and learn

without the pressures of a schedule....whether a public school

schedule or the over-scheduled home education family.

>

> Our children are with us for such a short time...I don't want to

miss any of it.

>

[JennifersLost]

Thanks, LauraL -

 

This is part of the issue for me, because I know exactly what you mean about the kids getting the short end of the stick. Still - I feel a strong desire to pursue "my" stuff, too. I really feel like I'm getting older and I'm afraid to let things "go" too long. What if all my opportunities pass by while I'm preparing the kids for their opportunities?

[Anne]

Jennifer, what about taking the online class this fall? It seems to me that this class is in an area that you are passionate about - that the class might be personally fulfilling.

 

Getting back into homeschooling will be a transition for you, especially if you wind up adding your 11 yo son.

 

You know all those outside activities your dc are involved in are going to eat up more time that you think. If it were me, I'd try to keep my "extras" personally fulfilling.

 

Choices are hard...!!!

 

Anne

[LauraL]

I understand exactly where you are coming from, and I can't say that I've found the balance myself. Balance, ultimately, is what it's about, right? I don't have any advice as to what will be the right answer for you and your particulars. Things I have found helpful are revisiting my long term goals/priorities (the real biggies that are the very most important to me--the ones that, ultimately, I will feel like I haven't accomplished my mission in life if I don't meet them) and determining how each of these other things fits in with those priorities. That, along with a lot of prayer for guidance . . . .