phathui5 Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 Let's say you have a neighbor who you're not super close with but get along with pretty well. You've babysat the kids a couple times and they're over to play with your kids pretty much every day, what with it being summer break. Last school year her oldest child got beat up at school often for being the only non African-American kid in his class. Some days they beat on him for being Mexican, other days for being white. His grades took a serious nosedive the second half of the year because he was distracted by the social issues. When she tried to talk to the school, nothing was accomplished and the guidance counselor suggested that she homeschool. He knows my kids are homeschooled and is asking to be homeschooled. The younger two don't mind going to school and have said they want to go back. She said that she can't do it. She first said she couldn't have them home all day (she has three children). Other roadblocks are that she has to work and can't afford childcare. Her husband's work can be spotty and she cleans houses and they really need her income. During summer break the kids have either been going to work with her or her husband or staying home with their dad (who's asleep). I've watched them a couple days and she's paid me $10-$20 for the day because she feels like she has to pay me something (I do childcare for work). She does need school for the free childcare it provides. This kid is so sweet and it's killing me not to go "Send him to school here while you work. I'll watch him for free and we'll enroll him in a good homeschool umbrella that won't give you crap about working and having someone else watch him." If she and I were closer I would have said it months ago. She did actually ask me back in June about helping her homeschool him but then didn't ask again. I don't want to see his spirit get crushed in our crappy neighborhood school. What would you do? How do I bring it up without overstepping bounds? Should I leave it alone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 I would sit down and really evaluate if you could honestly school him day after day. Even if he is enrolled in an umbrella school you will still have another child to supervise and guide. You don't want to offer something that you can't follow through on. If, you decided after evaluation that you really could do this without hurting yourself or your family (and no that is not a selfish consideration), then I would make your offer with no strings attached. I would simply tell her, "I'm not telling you what to do, but I have an offer for you. I will watch your son for free while you are working. I will help you enroll him in a good homeschool umbrella school. If you decide you want to pursue this, then we can talk about specifics. If you don't want to do this, I'll still be your friend." And then, you really need to step back and let your neighbor and her husband make their own decision for their son - even if you think they are making a mistake (if they turn down your offer). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 If you want to do it, bring it up as "...school is going to start soon. Do you still want me to homeschool or help homeschool (insert child's name)?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in Orlando Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 I would sit down and really evaluate if you could honestly school him day after day. Even if he is enrolled in an umbrella school you will still have another child to supervise and guide. You don't want to offer something that you can't follow through on. If, you decided after evaluation that you really could do this without hurting yourself or your family (and no that is not a selfish consideration), then I would make your offer with no strings attached. I would simply tell her, "I'm not telling you what to do, but I have an offer for you. I will watch your son for free while you are working. I will help you enroll him in a good homeschool umbrella school. If you decide you want to pursue this, then we can talk about specifics. If you don't want to do this, I'll still be your friend." And then, you really need to step back and let your neighbor and her husband make their own decision for their son - even if you think they are making a mistake (if they turn down your offer). :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosaicmind Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 I agree with Jean. Don't offer something just based on emotions, even if you know what torture the kid must be going through. If you pray, great pray about it. Talk with your dh and see what he thinks, his support is crucial to this working out if that is what is meant to happen. I would sincerely tell her that you aren't trying to tell them what to do, but you are giving them some options and here is one.....If you both decide that it's worth a try then I say that you both need to sit down and be educated as to what this entails and her husband needs to be onboard too. Plus, sometimes no matter how things turn out things get said or done that can hurt relationships and this needs to be in the back of your mind. Are you willing to take the chance that things might not go as planned and that your friendship is hurt in the process? For me it would be a risk worth taking because I have had two of my kids teased relentlessly at ps, which broke my heart. Let us know what happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetbaby Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 I would sit down and really evaluate if you could honestly school him day after day. Even if he is enrolled in an umbrella school you will still have another child to supervise and guide. You don't want to offer something that you can't follow through on. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted August 15, 2008 Author Share Posted August 15, 2008 I'm going to try and bring it up with her when she comes to pick the boys up today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted August 15, 2008 Share Posted August 15, 2008 No advice - just wanted to say that this is wonderfully generous of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 I talked to her this afternoon. She's going to start him out in school and see how it goes and if he's not doing well, she'll pull him out and send him over! I'm so happy that now they have another option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I'm glad that you were able to talk to her. I hope that she is sensitive to how he is doing at school. (It is a lot easier to promise to pull him out than to actually do it!) It sounds like you have good communication going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraL Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 No advice - just wanted to say that this is wonderfully generous of you. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhM Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 What a generous offer, and how great it would be to get him out of that situation. Here's another thought - I'm not familiar with how umbrella schools work (maybe it's a similar arrangement?), but what about an e-school? Then he would be accountable to the e-school's schedule and teacher, and you would just have to oversee his work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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