How happy is your marriage?

[MyThreeSons]

Things are very tough for us -- my dh has Alzheimer's Disease. He is extremely happy, which is a huge blessing. He is extremely kind, loving, tries to help, etc. I am frequently unhappy with the effects of his disease, but I am not unhappy with him. 

 

Responding to my own post --- very appropriate, LOL.

 

As I was reading the more recent posts, I realized there is one aspect of AD that many folks don't understand. We don't really have a relationship in many ways anymore. It has truly been years since dh and I have had a true conversation, for example. Between his virtually non-existent short term memory and his almost complete loss of logical thinking ability, we just can't talk anymore. He is more than willing to sit and listen, and he tries to contribute, but it just doesn't work anymore. I am talking to myself. 

 

Example: We will head to church in a few hours. We used to discuss the sermon on the way home, over lunch, etc. Today, he will have forgotten that we were even in church by the time I turn onto the main road heading home. He will listen to what I say, make comments that are totally irrelevant, or change the subject entirely. There is no give and take.

 

He is such a sweetie, though. He tells me multiple times a day that I am "amazing" or "wonderful" or "beautiful" -- mostly when I hand him a meal, LOL. 

[Guest]

Responding to my own post --- very appropriate, LOL.

 

As I was reading the more recent posts, I realized there is one aspect of AD that many folks don't understand. We don't really have a relationship in many ways anymore. It has truly been years since dh and I have had a true conversation, for example. Between his virtually non-existent short term memory and his almost complete loss of logical thinking ability, we just can't talk anymore. He is more than willing to sit and listen, and he tries to contribute, but it just doesn't work anymore. I am talking to myself. 

 

Example: We will head to church in a few hours. We used to discuss the sermon on the way home, over lunch, etc. Today, he will have forgotten that we were even in church by the time I turn onto the main road heading home. He will listen to what I say, make comments that are totally irrelevant, or change the subject entirely. There is no give and take.

 

He is such a sweetie, though. He tells me multiple times a day that I am "amazing" or "wonderful" or "beautiful" -- mostly when I hand him a meal, LOL. 

 

:grouphug:  I do understand that aspect and I am so sorry that this is the hand you've been dealt. You truly must be a wonderful lady, just as your dh tells you (when you feed him :laugh: ).  I've seen all these things with my MIL and this is truly the saddest aspect - you can't really have a relationship anymore.