Does anyone else have a little one who is having a rough time adjusting to the school routine?

[Janie Grace]

My ds3 is just plain MAD, I think. I guess I don't blame him. All summer, we cuddled for a long time in bed each morning, we played and chatted, and he just had lots of access to me. He's extremely verbal, emotional and attached to me. We've been schooling for three weeks now and he is a nightmare. Whiny, angry, acting out toward his brothers, etc.

 

I get up before he does to take oldest dd to school. I come home and jump into schooling his brothers. When I school one, he plays with the other (I decided to give up the "everyone at the table with Mom floating thing" as it was driving me batty; each kid gets one-on-one time or he's off playing with the preschooler or doing independent work). The morning goes FAST and then it's lunchtime and nap. I read to him and cuddle him before his nap, but really... he's not getting much of me. I'm exhausted by the afternoon and moving into dinner prep mode. I don't know how to remedy this, but something's gotta give. I am afraid he may either kill us all or run away. Not really... but I'm hurting and sad for him. And he's making our home really stressful.

 

Anyone else with a little on who's not down with school? Any thoughts?

[mom2bee]

A big hug to start! Is it possible you could rearrange a couple of things in the daiy to free up--ease up--the schedule?

My first thought of things to rearrange would be dinner. I know that this sounds strange, but could you try something like putting dinner on early in the morning (between getting home from dropping DD and 9am) and having dinner fully prepared by say...noon? That way you could even wash down the dishes and such. Maybe take the mornings easy until around 10am, then have school and that way after school is done, you could have cuddle time with your little guy?

 

Of course you could also try some different or new discipline tactics, emphasizing pleasant behavior, good actions and kind words. (good behaviour charts or the like?). I don't know how your little one responds to punishments but there a lot of developed strategies/opinions/ideas out there--do you have an idea of what might work you and your little one. Time out? Hugging-it-Out?

 

One variation of Time Out that I like is using it not based on a set time. But I make a kid stand in the corner for ugly/mean language until they have taken several deep breaths and can give an articulate apology to the one that they spoke meanly too. This way, how long they stay in the corner depends on THEM and they think of the corner as a place to cool down and reflect not stew, cry, grumble and bide their time wait for a timer to sound.

 

Maybe you could make a schedule for the kids and show them where each of them gets their special mom-time. Anything from 5-15 minutes at a time, every other day could really be helpful. That Mom and Me time could be used to snuggle, share a special story, tell jokes, stroke their hair, pray, sing etc...Whatever it is that you guys want to do.

 

Again :grouphug: . Sorry your little one isn't taking this well.

[happypamama]

I'd try getting him some school stuff as well. When I set up the workboxes for this year, I was all, "This is DD's stack, this is DS1's stack, and this is DS2's stack [it's small; he's four]." 2yo DS3 piped up, "Me box?" So I grabbed another box and said, "Yes! You have a box too! Let's put some books in it." He was a happy camper when he put some books and toys in his box. Can you do something like that for your small guy? I'm not sure how old he is (not sure if DS3 means DS age 3 or if it means your third son, but I'm guessing the latter, and I'm guessing he's pretty little still), but it doesn't have to be fancy -- just put some things like special books, toys, coloring implements, stickers, stamps, playdough, lacing cards, whatever in a box or basket or something and make a big deal out of it being *his* school time.

 

My 2yo and 4yo definitely lose out if I'm not really careful, sandwiched between the two big kids who need me and the baby who needs me (and who takes up my lap). They get bored. Having some activities of their own really helps, but I do try to carve out even a few minutes to read picture books to them or to do early learning activities with them (especially the 4yo; the 2yo plays a lot or hangs out next to me -- the 4yo will too, but he really wants to learn and be like the big kids), and that does seem to make a difference.

 

Re: dinner. Before our baby arrived, I froze a bunch of meals. We still have some in the freezer, and it is really helpful on busy days. Can you take a weekend or a day to prep a bunch of meals and freeze them?