s/o common app: Counselor letter, how real do you get?

[elegantlion]

As always, I'm thinking ahead. My question is how real do you get in the counselor letter about life situations that might have affected your student? For instance, the circumstances regarding dh's and my separation is a fairly private thing. However, if he had been in traditional school, a school official, counselor or principal would have been informed of those circumstances. 

 

Also, how real do you get about your child's personality? Do you spin what you see as deficits into positives? Do you list where you think this student might be challenged? 

 

Obviously, as a parent I have a vested interest in getting him accepted. How far do you step outside of the parent circle to see things from the counselor perspective? 

[regentrude]

If the information is pertinent and explains why a student had an unsuccessful year, include it,

If the information is pertinent and showcases how a student overcame an obstance with flying colors, include it.

If the student's performance was only moderately affected by it, leave it out. I specifically say performance, because of course your student will be affected emotionally. Only you can judge how much of an impact it had on his academics, which is what I would focus on.

[Barbara H]

For instance, the circumstances regarding dh's and my separation is a fairly private thing. However, if he had been in traditional school, a school official, counselor or principal would have been informed of those circumstances. 

 

Also, how real do you get about your child's personality? Do you spin what you see as deficits into positives? Do you list where you think this student might be challenged? 

 

Obviously, as a parent I have a vested interest in getting him accepted. How far do you step outside of the parent circle to see things from the counselor perspective? 

 

One thing to keep in mind is that the average counselor at a public school is serving over 400 students and college counseling is just a tiny fraction of what the job requires. So, in other words, most counselors aren't including information about parents separating in their counselor letter. They likely don't have this information and if they did the school may not allow that disclosure.

 

Much of what shapes our daily lives as homeschool parents is totally irrelevant for this letter. The fact that Susie is disorganized and loses her papers and her bedroom is a mess... yeah, it'll drive you up the wall but that isn't counselor information.

 

You offer explanations when something on the transcript needs to be explained. If the child has a serious medical condition that made them miss school for an extended period of time that may be relevant. If they were not properly diagnoses and treated for a learning disability until 10th grade it may be relevant.

 

 

[Kareni]

I think that I would not mention your separation unless it had a profound/lengthy impact on your child's grades.

 

 

Also, how real do you get about your child's personality? Do you spin what you see as deficits into positives?

 

I also included one negative feature in the letter that I wrote for my daughter. I thought this was important in terms of balance. But I also tried to give it a positive spin.

 

Regards,

Kareni